Coming Back Home
by Tswift20
Summary: He left me damaged. Broken. Already a skeptic of love from a young age, he allowed me to fall in love with him only to change his mind. I thought I was finally over him after living in New York for 3 years pursuing my career. But one phone call and one wedding had me thrown back into the world that I thought I had left behind.
1. Chapter 1

**He left me damaged. Broken. Already a skeptic of love from a young age, he allowed me to fall in love with him only to change his mind. I thought I was finally over him after living in New York for 3 years pursuing my career. But one phone call and one wedding had me thrown back into the world that I thought I had left behind.**

 _ **A/n: Hey guys! I am a long time reader but first time writer for FF! I have always had ideas in my head but this is the first time I am getting them down in writing. I hope you enjoy it! All mistakes are my own.**_

Song inspirations for this chapter:

 **Prologue:**

 _ **New York City, New York: 2015.**_

 **BPOV:**

"Bringgggg"

"Damn it Bells who the hell is calling you at this hour? Jake groaned.

I rolled away from my boyfriend Jake and turn to the night stand to look at my phone. _Alice._ Why am I not surprised? I muttered.

"This better be good Alice."

"Its him."

"What? What do you mean Alice? It's 3 in the fucking morning."

"Is Jake next to you?"

"Of course he is. Alice your scaring me what's wrong?"

"Can you go in the other room for a second."

"Fine this better be good, Alice." I walk out into the living room.

"Ok, what is it?"

"Edward, Bella. Edward is Jasper's friend."

"I swear I didn't know!" She rushed on. "You should have seen the shocked look on all of our faces. None of us expected to see each other."

"Wait, back up. How did you see Edward?"

I was in shock and was starting to panic. Of all people….

"So you know how Jess has been really upset about her breakup with Mike right?"

 _Oh shit. I didn't like where this was going._

"Well anyways, Jasper told me he had a friend from Forks high school who just moved to Seattle. And he said they would be perfect together. It was Jasper so I trusted him and didn't question it. I asked Jess if she was up for it and she agreed."

"So it was a blind date?" I choked out.

"Yes, I am so sorry Bella, I didn't know!" She sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"Of course you didn't Al. Does Jasper know?"

"Of course not Bella! He would have kicked Edward's ass by now. You know how protective he is of you. Apparently they are high school friends," she went on, "Edward moved to Seattle when he went to State obviously and that is when…"

'When he met me," I interrupted.

"Babe I'm so sorry. When Jas told me he was from his hometown I didn't think anything of it. I mean I completely forgot that Edward wasn't even originally from Seattle. I never expected this to happen."

"I know. Its's fine."

"Bel-

"No really it is. Its not like I am home that often anyways, and we live in a big city. Plus, I have Jake now. Al I have to go. I have to get up really early tomorrow."

"Ok, _she sighs,_ "And just so you know Jess would never entertain the idea- "

"Alice I know. It's ok really. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

 _I started walking towards my bed._

Oh god Edward. How could this happen? Alice was serious about this one. And we all loved Jasper. He even had me help him pick out an engagement ring on my last visit.

"Oh my god there is going to be a wedding." _I panicked as I was getting back into bed._ "I am going to see him again after 5 years." _As I closed my eyes Jake wrapped his arms around me and I sighed._

'What am I thinking? I have a boyfriend here who loves me. Fuck him. I'm over him." _Oh how easily I could lie to myself…._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/n: And we are back! A few notes for this chapter. First, this story is mainly told from Bella's POV. However, there will be times, such as this one, where a different POV will add to the perspective of the story or during times when Bella is not around. Secondly, there will be flashbacks that will be marked by dates. The present time is 2016. I think that's it! Thanks again for reading_

 **Seattle, Washington Present day:**

 **APOV:**

"Hey babe do you guys need any help in here", my future husband asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Jasper's mother, Elaine and I were cooking for a dinner party we were having with friends and family attending the wedding.

"Ohhh lasagna, my favorite!"

"I know darling that's why we are making it! Your mother wants me to learn her special recipe so I can start making it for you." _I turn around and give my finance a kiss on the lips. Finally noticing what he was wearing I raised my eyebrows._

"What are you wearing?! Go get changed. Our guest will be arriving any minute!

"What ever you say, darling." He whispered in my ear before turning around and heading out of the kitchen.

Elaine and I watch as he leaves the room.

"He really loves you, my dear. I have never seen him so happy."

"I am so happy too, Elaine. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"How is he doing with the whole Edward not being able to come thing?"

"He seems to be ok. He was upset of course but he understands Edward has to travel for work."

"Those boys were inseparable from the moment they first met. They lost touch for awhile which was awful on both of them. I'm so happy Edward is back in your lives now. He is such a good boy." I smile at her.

" _If only you knew what he did to my best friend," I thought._

"I'm ready, Darlin'!" Anything else you need me to do?"

 _Reluctant to actually let him do any of the cooking I looked around the room. I'm saved by the sound of the doorbell._

"Ohhh my god the guests are already here! I exclaimed. "I'm not finished getting ready!", I freak out running around the kitchen trying to get everything together.

"Relax hon my mom and I have everything under control. Why don't you go upstairs and finish getting ready? I will answer the door." He smiles down at me while rubbing my shoulders.

"Ok thanks honey", I smile at him and he gives me a peck on the lips.

"Of course baby."

 _He goes and answers the door. I am just about to head upstairs when I hear his voice._

"Solo dolo?" Man what are you doing here!"

 _My head whips up and towards the door. Oh my god._

Elaine looks over at me surprised. "Sweetheart, isn't that his nickname for Edward?"

 _All I could do was nod._

" _Holy shit what is he doing here, I thought. She isn't prepared. She doesn't know. She is going to kill me." All I could think about was how Bella was going to react to this. She was so relieved when I told her he wasn't able to come to the wedding due to his unexpected need to travel for work. She tried to hide it but I know she was relieved. And now he is here, with no warning, and she is coming in to Seattle tomorrow._

Jaspers voice interrupted my musings, "Babe come see who it is! He can make the wedding festivities after all!"

 _Shit. This is probably why I should have told Jasper a year ago during the blind date fiasco. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing. Never did I expect the man who broke my best friend's heart to be the long lost best friend of Jasper. I thought that not telling Jasper was the best way to preserve their friendship. Because he was so happy to have Edward back in his life. I could tell. All that day he regaled me with crazy stories of their teenage years. But I knew that if I told Jasper he would do anything to protect Bella. Now I was screwed. And I couldn't ask him to not let Edward come to the wedding._

"Be there in a minute! I yelled just now noticing that Elaine went into the room to greet him as well.

'Shit, Shit, Shit," I exclaimed freaking the fuck out. I need to call her. Give her some type of warning.

"Fuck, where is my phone?" _Just then I realized it was in the living room where everyone was._

" _Well damn. I guess I will have to wait."_

 _I walk into the living room and see Edward. He looks nervous. He unconsciously runs his hand through his hair over and over. And darts his eyes around nervously._

" _Hmm wonder who he is looking for," I thought angrily._

"Hey Ali"

Internally I am fuming. How dare he! Acting like he knows me well enough to call me by my nickname. But I know I have to try and get along with him for Jasper. The few times we have all hung out, after the blind date, I smile and laugh with Edward when I am around Jasper but if we are ever left alone I glare at him hard. He even tried to corner me once to talk about everything.

 **2015 (** After the conversation with Bella)

"Hey Alice can I talk to you?"

 _Jasper, Edward, and I are at a bar on a Saturday night well on our way to being wasted. All night Edward has been across the bar being hit on by a bunch of bottle blonde bitches. Wow finally gracing us with his presence, I thought. Jasper looks up at him in surprise. Ever since I met Edward, Jasper has had the feeling we don't like each other. "Well your right about that", I thought._

"Of course", I muttered not really wanting to get into this at a crowded bar.

"Look Alice, about Bella-" He says quickly in an apologetic tone.

"No," I said holding my hand up, "you don't get to do this. You don't get to talk to me about my best friend. You lost that right 5 years ago when you broke her heart. Look we agreed not to tell Jasper right?" I looked up at him and he nods. I feel a pang in my chest when I think about lying to Jasper.

"Ok, lets leave it at that. We will pretend like it never happened. It is not like you will see her again. Ill make sure of that." I gave him my best bitch brow with my hands on my hips.

"Go back to your bimbos, and don't ever think or speak Bella's name again. Got it?"

He gulps. Good I got to him then.

"OK then", I replied. And we walked back to the bar where Jasper was sitting.

 **Present time 2016:**

"Hey Edward, what happened to your travel plans for work?" _I really tried to keep the bitchiness out of my voice but I must have failed because he was looking everywhere but at me._

"Oh, well something came up with one of the companies we were planning on partnering with and they had to push their meeting dates back. So now I will be able to be here for the whole month leading up to the wedding."

"Which means, _Jazz interrupted,_ that you will be here for the bachelor party and the wedding party trip", he says excitedly."

"Wedding part trip?" Edward asked.

"Yea dude its going to be awesome! The groomsmen and the bridesmaids are all going to Hawaii together for a week! A way to celebrate all of the work we will be doing leading up to the wedding."

"And to celebrate our marriage of course." I say.

"Of course baby," Jazz says as he leans over to kiss me.

"So no significant others on this trip?"

"Nope! It's sort of a bonding opportunity for everyone, he said enthusiastically," plus we only want close friends on this trip." He pauses and looks at Edward. Is Kate going to be ok with this?" he asked.

"Yea, she will be fine, she is a pretty chill girlfriend." I raise my eyebrow at Edward with the mention of a girlfriend. He ignores my stare looking to my fiancé instead.

"Ok, awesome man. This trip is going to be amazing." Jasper says.

"Yea it sounds great man," he says enthusiastically, wait does this still mean you want me in your wedding party?" Edward asked.

"Of course dude! You're my best man! I was going to have my dad fill in just in case you couldn't make it but I was hoping you would still be able to."

"Thanks, that means a lot to me."

"Ok, enough with the bromance." I said as I rolled my eyes. But I am secretly happy that my fiancé was so happy to have his best friend back. "I hear a knock so I am going to go greet our guests. Edward go home get changed and come back for the party." There see I can be generous; I think to myself.

"Umm actually that's the thing," he said nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "When I thought I would be traveling for the better part of a year I gave up my apartment. I figured I could put everything in my parent's storage garage until I figured out where I was staying next. I figured I would look for a new place a few months before coming home. Most of the hotels right now are closed so can I stay for the night?" He asked nervously looking at me.

"Damn, he must really be scared by me," I smirked at the thought.

"Of course dude", Jasper said before I could even comment, in fact you are more then welcome to stay for the whole month! We have more then enough room right honey?"

Shit, I thought, Bella is going to be around for all of the wedding preparations. But I knew I had to at least give my Jazzy this, since it seemed to make him so happy having Edward around.

"Ill probably be out a lot anyways, Edward said noticing my hesitation, "I promise I wont get in the way of the wedding stuff."

"Ok, yea you can stay." I say cringing at the thought of having to tell Bella he is staying with us.

"Great, thanks guys. I'll go put my stuff upstairs." He walks up the steps.

"Thanks baby for doing this, he hugged me and put his chin on the top of my head, I know you are not crazy about him but I really do appreciate all of the effort you are putting in to try and get along for my sake."

"Of course baby," not even bothering to deny I don't like him, "I know you like having him around and its your wedding too." He looks down and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Ok, lets get to greeting our guest huh?"

"Actually that reminds me. I need to make a phone call really quick. Would you mind greeting our guest?"

"Of course not baby." As he heads towards the door I look around finally locating my phone.

"Thank god," I mutter, and go about calling my best friend to warn her that everything is about to change.

 **LATER THAT NIGHT: Seattle, Washington**

Jasper and I are walking around greeting our guest when I spot Jessica and Angela have arrived.

"Hey baby I'm going to say hi to Jess and Angela really quick I'll be right back."

"Ok, I am going to find Edward. My dad wants us to play a round of golf tomorrow." He gives me a kiss on the cheek and goes off in search of Edward.

"Hey guys! I exclaim excited to see some of my best friends.

"Hey Alice, Jess says raising her eyebrows, "What the hell is he doing here?" She points over to where Edward and Jasper are talking animatedly.

"I know. He just showed up out of nowhere claiming his trip got canceled!" She is going to be blindsided."

"Did you try calling her?"

"Of course I did! She hasn't answered. She told me she was going to be packing today and then going out with some friends to a club as a goodbye party before she leaves. But she still should be picking up her phone," I say furrowing my brow.

"I'm sure she will call you back before she leaves tomorrow. And if not you are picking her up from the airport right?"

"Yea, I just hate this. I feel like by letting him stay I'm betraying my best friend. But what can I do? I can't tell my husband who he can and cannot invite to his own wedding. Having Edward here makes him happy and I can't deny him that. Not after everything he has done for me."

"I'm sure Bella will understand that," Angela says sympathetically. "She knows that he is Jasper's friend and he likes having him around."

"What are you ladies talking about," Jazz says as he stands behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. I notice that Edward is standing there too. Before I can say anything Jess answers.

"Oh just talking about Bella arriving tomorrow," she looks up at Edward pointedly. Edward looks around shoving his hand through his hair obviously nervous about this topic of conversation.

"When is she arriving babe?" Jazz asks me. "We are picking her up at the airport right?"

"Yea, she should be getting in around 1."

"Well that's perfect! Why don't Edward, my dad and I pick her up from the airport? We will be heading home around that time anyways and the airport is on the way. Plus, Edward here hasn't had a chance to meet her." He said enthusiastically slapping Edward on the back.

I hear collective gasping sounds coming from my friends and choking sounds from Edward at the suggestion.

"No, no that's ok! I don't mind," I say quickly. "Jess and I will pick her up tomorrow and then we are having a spa day. Thanks for the offer though Jazzy." I stand up on my toes and give him a peck on the lips.

"Ok, just thought I would offer. How is she doing in New York anyways," he asks. "It been awhile since I have been able to talk to her." Edward looks at Jasper curiously probably wondering how they had gotten so close.

"She is great," Jess chimes in. Although Jasper asked the question she is looking directly at Edward. "She just recently moved in with her _boyfriend_ into an awesome apartment in New York."

Way to be subtle Jess. She obviously emphasized the word boyfriend for Edward's benefit, I thought. I look over at Edward and he is narrowing his eyes at Jess looking pissed off. I'm not sure if he is pissed off about how obvious she is being rubbing it in his face or because Bella has a boyfriend.

'She is such a lucky girl," she went on smiling smugly at Edward and ignoring his glare," not many people get to live in their dream city in an amazing apartment with a hot successful boyfriend."

"She definitely is lucky," Angela agrees laughing behind her cup.

"So anyways, Jasper says noticing the tension but not really understanding it, "when are we going to start planning our trip to Hawaii? We need to figure out dates for everything."

"I was thinking," I say just as my phone starts to ring. "Hold on I have to take this" I said looking up at everyone.

"Who is it," Jess asked.

"Bella." When I said her name Edward looked up at me longingly, probably realizing how close Bella was, and he couldn't even talk to her. I raised my eyebrow at him and wondered why he cared so much.

"I'll be right back."

I walked towards the other room to tell Bella what was going on and that everything was about to change.

A/n: Thanks again everyone for reading! Sorry for the sudden ending the chapter was getting too long! I know you are probably waiting for E/B interaction but don't worry its coming! ;) Also an explanation of what happened between them will be coming as the story unfolds :)


	3. Chapter 3

New York City, New York

BPOV: PRESENT DAY

I can't believe that I am going back to Seattle." I thought as a I started packing my bags. Even if he isn't actually going to be in Seattle for the wedding there are going to be way too many memories of our time together that isn't going to do anything but tear me apart inside. All we did when we were together was tear each other apart piece by piece. Until there was nothing left to give. I am in my New York city apartment getting ready to go back to the one place that I was so eager to run away from. I was living the dream. I had an amazing career, a boyfriend who loves me, and I was living in the city I had been dreaming about for my whole life. If it was anyone but, Alice I would refuse to come home. I was too plagued by the memories of him when I was there. And I saw him wherever I went. Even in the months after he left I thought I saw him everywhere. I couldn't help but think of all of the what if's that could have happened if he wasn't so damn scared to commit to me. That is probably one of the biggest reason I decided it was time to move to New York. I couldn't really blame him for everything though. All of the miscommunication and hesitancy I had in the beginning of our relationship probably planted seeds of doubt in his mind. But now I knew I had to go back to Seattle. I owed Alice that much. She was there for me at a time where I was my most vulnerable. She picked me up and helped me through it. I owed it to my best friend to be there for her on the happiest day of her life. I was taken out of my thoughts by the sound of my phone ringing,

'Hey Alice, I'm packing right now for my flight. Don't worry I will be there." I rushed out trying not to make her feel guilty about the fact that she was taking me back to the one place that I never wanted to return to again. I hear yelling in the background.

"Are you out somewhere right now?" I asked.

"No I'm having a party at my house for all of the wedding guest…Speaking of which- "

"Wait Alice can I ask you something first?"

"Sure." She replied.

"So you know how Jake is from Seattle too right?"

"Yea, of course. Only you would leave Seattle to get away only to run into a guy in New York who is from Seattle."

"I know, I have the best luck," I say sarcastically rolling my eyes. She laughs at my response. "But I really do love him. He has been great."

"You seem like you are happy," She comments although there is a hesitation to her voice almost as if she knows I will never be completely happy and in love again. Not without him at least…

I ignore her hesitation though not wanting to talk about what or really who she is thinking about. "But anyways, Jake has to come back to Seattle for a couple of months to help take care of his father. Apparently his sisters are going back to work full time and they need someone to take care of him until they can find a full time nurse. So I was wondering can he come to some of your wedding events?" I mean I know he can't come to the wedding party trip" I rush on, "But do you mind if he comes to the bachelor party, the dinners, and some of the other events."

"Of course he can! I have yet to meet him anyways and this would be a good time to get to know him."

She has an excitement in her voice that has me worried.

"Al please don't interrogate him. I really like this one. I feel like I haven't had a lasting normal relationship since-" I cut myself off. "God since Edward" I think to myself.

She sighs and I know she knows who I am talking about without having to say it. "While we are on on the subject I really need to tell you something Bel. I'm so sorry, I really am."

"Alice what's wrong?"

"He's here. I'm so sorry he told me he wasn't coming. But something happened with work and he isn't traveling anymore. He will be here. I wanted to tell him right then and there that he wasn't allowed to come. But he is Jasper's best friend. And you have no idea how happy Edward being there has made him. I feel so torn. I feel like I am betraying our friendship by letting him be here."

"Al slow down. Tell me what happened from the beginning." She tells me how something went wrong with the company he was working for and there meeting date was pushed back for another month.

'All I could think about at that moment was how you would react to this Bella. He hurt my best friend and there is nothing I can do about it but stand by and let him be a part of this wedding. You don't know how hard that is for me.

"Ali relax. I get it. He is Jasper's best friend. Of course he is going to be there. I wouldn't have it any other way. Besides he is over me right?" I was trying to hide the fact that it was a hopeful question hoping she would say differently or refute it. When she doesn't refute it, I sigh.

 _So much for being the love of his life right? I continue on._

"And I am with Jake. We have both moved on. So I am ok really I promise."

 _Wow I have become a really good liar._

"There is more Bella." She said completely ignoring my comment about be over him. Hmm I must not be as good of a liar as I thought.

"He is dating someone. I didn't know about it until tonight and I don't know how serious it is but I thought you should know. I don't want you to be blindsided because chances are that she will be around."

Oh god. I wasn't ready for this. I pause for a second trying to hold it together and not cry on the phone with Alice. God I am not sober enough for this conversation.

"Bella are you still there?"

"Yea, sorry just got distracted by packing." And I suck at lying. She lets me get away with it though like the best friend she is.

"Alice its ok. Of course he is seeing someone else. I mean it's Edward. I didn't expect him to be single the 5 years we have been apart." One could dream though right?

She pauses for a whole minute before speaking, probably knowing I am trying to hold myself together. She sighs. "He is an idiot Bella."

"Al don't start. Yes, what he did is probably what ultimately ended our relationship." If you could even call it that, I thought. "But I know I'm not completely innocent in it either. I retaliated and tried to hurt him back every time he hurt me. Even from the beginning."

"But you wouldn't have felt the need to if- "

"Al you need to get along with him for Jasper's sake. I am not going to hate you for being friends with him. If you don't stop hating him and trying to defend me your going to drive a wedge between your and Jasper's relationship."

She pauses for a second. "I don't hate him. I hate what he did to you, and the person he became." she says sounding like she is near tears. "Him and I were really good friends back then. He was practically a brother to me. But I couldn't be ok with what he did to you."

I sigh and frustratingly run my hands through my hair. A habit I had probably picked up from him in all of the times I had seen him stressed out. I knew I was nearly at the point of breaking down and I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I had spent way too much time crying over him.

"Al I need to go." I said after a moment.

"Bel"

"No really I'm ok. My friends are about to be here to take me out and I need to get ready. I will see you at the airport tomorrow."

"Wait, please talk to me Bells- "

"I can't I'm sorry I have to go. I will see you tomorrow." And I hang up.

I know I should have told her the truth. Or at least talked it out with her. But I didn't want her to have to pick sides. I also still had trouble expressing my feelings and emotions and with every second I was on the phone with her I knew how close I was to completely breaking down. And Jake. God I feel like a terrible girlfriend forgetting to take him into consideration. He knows there is a guy from my past who hurt me. But he doesn't know anything about him. _Or God, I sigh, the fact that he is best friends with the groom and will be at the wedding_. I picked up my phone and called the one person I knew could help me forget about my past, and Seattle.

"Tanya, he is coming to Seattle."

A/n: So there was a little more insight into what happened between B/E. Thanks again for all who have reviewed, favorited, and followed my story! See you next time


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Hey guys! I know I am a little late getting this out but I have had a busy two weeks. My goal is to update everyone 1-2 weeks. Thanks again to everyone who favorited, reviewed, and followed my story! The B/E reunion is coming up next chapter I promise! I do not own, and all mistakes are my own.**

" _If what we had was real how could you be fine? Because I'm not fine at all." Amnesia, 5 Seconds of Summer._

 **New York City, New York: Present time**

 **BPOV**

After hanging up the phone with both Alice and Tanya I walk into my kitchen and grab the bottle of wine sitting on the counter. "Damn I wish I had something stronger than this," I mutter taking a swig from the bottle. I sit down on the cool tile and put my head against the cabinet closing my eyes. I should have known. I think to myself and then sigh. Of course he was seeing someone. God back when we met he had half the college female population after him. Even after we got together he had half the female population after him. And I was just the young naïve high school girl, shocked that this gorgeous college guy was talking to me. He was so cocky and arrogant back then. He always let me know in no uncertain terms that he could have any girl he wanted. Stupidly I thought maybe now he would have changed. Matured. But yet he was still the stupid asshole I had met 5 years ago.

"God why can he still effect me like this, I yell out loud banging my head against the kitchen cabinet. How does the mere mention of him being back in Seattle have me wanting to drink a shit ton of tequila and cry?"

When Alice told me he wasn't coming I was relieved. I could admit that to myself now. I wasn't ready to see him. This is part of the reason why I left Seattle. It was too hard to be there without thinking about him everyday and wondering what he was doing. If he was happy.

Its not fair, I think to myself. Why is it that he can easily move on from me, date a bunch of women and not be effected by the thought of seeing me again?" Was anything about our relationship real? Clearly not, with how easily he could get over me back then despite his desperate phone calls trying to get me to talk to him. I found this out the hard way when Tanya told me he was dating someone new only months after we ended things. And then he took off. I knew he was over me. Alice pretty much confirmed it. And now I realize I am being a hypocrite about this. I was dating someone else too. But yet he could easily move on from me, and I'm still sitting here 5 years later crying over him like we were still in college. I knew this was going to be hard. Seeing him with someone else was going to tear me apart. I wonder if its that same bitch from college. If it is her Alice is going to have to hold me back from kicking her ass.

At least I have Jake, I reasoned with myself. He has always been that source of comfort for me. I realized that my description of him sounded more like a friend. But I never let myself think too deeply about that. I never let myself think about the fact that I was never going to be as happy and in love with Jake as I was with _him._ But maybe that was the problem with my relationship with Edward. Maybe that all consuming love was not good for a relationship. It wasn't normal or healthy. And we hurt each other too much for us to ever be able to go back to the way that things were. Maybe I would be ok with just being happy with someone who I know loves me and cares about me. Either way I knew I couldn't hurt Jake. Not after everything he had done for me. And not after he picked up the pieces for me when I was heartbroken and new to the city. Plus, I didn't want to disappoint my dad, or his family for that matter. And once again I sound like a hypocrite. I sigh. Damn it Tanya would be here any minute and she would see me sitting on the floor of my kitchen clutching my bottle of wine like it was a lifeline. I knew that would send her into overprotective mode and she would know I am not fine. So I picked myself off the floor and went over to the couch. I am interrupted from my inner thoughts by the sound of my door.

"I'm here", Tanya announces walking into my apartment practically like she owns the place. I brought the ice cream and the tequila." She says and sets it on the counter, I'll give you a little time to wallow but then we are getting drunk, going to a bar and flirting with hot boys." She walks in the living room and raises her eyebrow at me when she sees me sitting on the couch clearly hurting and in a panic. I guess I wasn't doing a convincing enough job act like I was fine. She sighs, closes her eyes, and sit by me on the couch wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"Are you ok, Bel?" She asks me clearly knowing how upset I am.

"I'm fine", I say. But then I shrug out of her arm, stand up and walk across the room to my kitchen. I see the tub of ice cream but forgo it grabbing the tequila bottle instead. I unscrew the lid and start taking long pulls out of the bottle, the liquid burning down my throat as I swallow it.

"Yeah, clearly," she says snorting and rolling her eyes. "Look he did a really shitty thing to you back then. He lied to you for two years, went behind your back, and-

"Yea, thanks for bringing that back up. It is really helpful," I say sarcastically rolling my eyes.

"Bells please talk to me", she says clearly upset that I won't tell her what is wrong.

I sigh and run my hands through my hair still frustrated about how upset I am and how much he can still effect me. I didn't want to look at her when I told her this because I know how she was going to react.

"He is dating someone," I sigh and my voice begins to break. "Alice says she doesn't know how serious it is, but just that fact that she will be around for the wedding and the fact that she had been introduced to his friends and family just proves how serious he is about her."

She looks at me for a second, studying my face.

"Bells I love you and I don't want to hurt you by saying this but what did you expect? Did you really expect for him to be single for the rest of his life? I mean back in college he was a serial dater. He more than likely fucked half the female population. He was never with the same girl for more than a week. And not only that but they were all the same. Older blonde girls who were dumb enough to buy into his lines."

"Technically I did too," I reply.

"The difference between you and those girls is that you made him work his ass off to gain your trust. You didn't give into him right when you met him because of his charm and extremely good looks."

"You don't need to remind me that I am the complete opposite of all of the other girls he has dated, T."

"But honestly Bella, no matter how serious he seems to be about this girl more than likely he is going to get bored with her soon and move on to the next one. My advice for you now is that you need to make him jealous. Let him know how many guys would kill to be with you. Because showing him how much your wanted? That is the best way to get back at him."

"T I am so sick of these stupid games." I sigh. "But you know what? Never mind it doesn't matter. Did I panic for a second? Yes. But I'm over it. So let's go out and get drunk." I let out a breath and look up at her hoping she would believe me or at least let it go for tonight.

She looked like she wanted to argue but instead she sighs and says, "Fine, I'll let it go. But I am coming out to visit you in Seattle for a weekend. And if he so much as looks at me the wrong way I reserve the right to kick his ass," she says vehemently.

I look at her and smile knowing she is serious. And I love her for it. "Deal", I say, "Now let's go and get ready so we can go out." I walk towards my bathroom and she follows.

 **Seattle Washington Present time**

 **APOV**

As I walk back into the room after talking to Bella I get pulled by the arm into another room. I look up and realize who it is. _Edward._ I sigh and cross my arms.

"What do you want Edward?"

"Look I know I screwed up with her ok? I know I treated her like shit. But this needs to stop. You can stop trying to stand up for _her_ ok? Because she is obviously over me. She has a boyfriend a whole new life and obviously you think she is happy. _I see him swallow close his eyes and sigh._ When he opens them he looks upset.

"So stop punishing me ok? She did enough of that by ending things with me and refusing to take my phone calls even after I begged her to talk to me. Just please stop blaming me for something I did when I was a young and stupid kid. We used to be friends, practically like brother and sister at one-point right? He looks at me and waits for my nod. When I do he continues.

"Ok, so at least for Jasper's sake can we go back to that? I know your still pissed at me and I get that. I know you have every right to be. She is your best friend. But don't forget she left me. She left me and took all of my friends with her. I'm going to have to pay for my mistakes for the rest of my life. Because I know I will never be able to be with her again. So please, back off ok?" He sighs runs his hand through his hair and turns around to walk back into the party.

"You drove her away," I yelled just as he was about to walk back to the party. He stops but doesn't turn around.

"You don't get to play the victim in this shit. You hurt her. Played games with her. You weren't the one who was young and naïve like she was. For god sakes Edward you met her when she was a senior in high school and you were in college. You knew fucking better. You took advantage of her and made her think you wanted to be with her. That you were in love with her and wanted to be in a serious relationship with her. She didn't know any better and you took advantage of that. And you took everything from her. SO you don't get to say you are the victim. You don't get to act like you were hurt in this whole situation. And I sure as fuck am not going to be ok with your " _girlfriend", I say rolling my eyes,_ being around for my wedding, so don't you dare try to make me feel sorry for you."

He sighs and walks back into the party without saying anything or turning around. I follow him and catch the tail end of his conversation with Jasper.

"So I am going to head over to Kate's house for the night", he says, "Thanks again man for letting me stay at your place, and everything."

"Of course Edward," Japer says giving him a handshake. I will see you tomorrow man at the golf course. Oh and don't forget we are all going to the bar tomorrow night. The girls want to go dancing. It will be mostly couples so you can bring your girlfriend if you want. I'm sure everyone wants to meet her."

"Yeah man that would be great. She is actually really excited to meet you." He purposely avoids looking at me and you can tell he wants to be anywhere but at the party. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He walks away and Jasper turns around and looks at me.

"Hey babe, how is Bella?"

"She's good. She just wanted to let me know that her boyfriend is coming to Seattle for a few months. So she wanted to see if it would be ok for him to come to some of the wedding events."

"Oh cool so he is probably coming tomorrow then right?" 

Oh god I didn't even think about that. Well tomorrow is going to get really Interesting. "Yeah probably," I reply.

"Good, I need to make sure I approve of him," he says seriously.

"Babe, I love how protective of her you are," I say kissing him on the lips.

"Of course I am. She is like a sister to me."

I look up at him and smile even though I am worried about what I am about to bring my best friend into. I hate that I am going to bring all of this hurt and heartache back into her life even though she tried so hard to get away from it. And I hate him for taking my best friend away from me. For being the reason that she had to get away. Either way this was about to be a crazy month for all of us.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: An early update! I updated early for a few reasons. First, I was so excited to get this chapter out. And secondly, because I will be out of town all weekend and will not be able to update. I cannot thank you guys enough for all of the love I have received so far for this story. And a shout out to Scattycow who put me on the cheatward spot on fb. Being new to writing FF I was nervous about how this story would be received. So thank you all for the reviews/favorites/follows! I seriously love you all. We are finally going to get some B/E interaction this chapter, so enjoy! Also we are going to hear from Edward in this chapter too** **As usual I do not own, all mistakes are my own**

" _All I know is a simple name, everything has changed"-Taylor Swift "Everything Has Changed"_

 **Seattle Washington Present Time:**

 **BPOV:**

As I walked out of the terminal into the Seattle airport I couldn't help but think that the weather outside was a great predictor of how this month was going to go. The calm before the storm. I knew I would feel a lot better having Jake around because he always helped keep me calm. But due to the fact that his decision to come to Seattle was so last minute he had to book a later flight. I knew that as soon as I saw everyone again all of these memories would flood back. And I was still not sure if I was ready for that. However, I really didn't have a chance to prepare before I see my best friend running towards me gripping me into a bone crushing hug.

"Oh my god, Bells I missed you," she exclaimed. She starts talking a hundred miles per hour asking how my flight was, telling me she missed me, and asking me why Jake was not here yet.

"Calm down Alice she just got off the plane," Jessica says putting her arms around my shoulder. "How are you feeling babe."

"I'm good, thanks," I say knowing where she was going with her questions but not ready to talk about it. "Where are the guys," I ask trying to sound casual while looking around.

Alice looks over at Jessica before saying, "Oh the guys decided to play golf before we all went to the club tonight. Are you still up for it? I know the trip was long," she asks me. Although I know what she really meant was are you up for seeing Edward this soon.

"Yea, it will be fun. Besides Jake should be in Seattle by then so you guys will finally be able to meet him." I say hoping that by mentioning Jake they would worry less.

"Yay I'm so excited to meet him," Alice says jumping up and down, "And speaking of Jake why isn't he on the flight with you?"

"Since he booked his flight last minute he wasn't able to get on the same flight. But he should be getting in around 5 or so and then he is going to meet us at the club."

"Oh we can cut our spa trip short then if you want to go pick him up from the airport," Alice says obviously worried.

"No, its ok Al, his sister is picking him up from the airport. Although he isn't too happy about it, I mutter rolling my eyes.

"He is having some trouble with this whole situation then?" Alice asks understandingly.

"Yea, I just don't get it, I say frustratingly. "I mean I haven't seen you guys in months and we planned this spa trip together. I don't understand why he doesn't get that I want to spend time with my girls."

"Its probably just hard on him honey, Alice says sympathetically, "I mean you are going from living together and seeing each other all of the time to having to live apart and only seeing each other when you both have free time. I'm sure he just knows that he will miss you."

"I get that. I just want to be able to hangout out with my friends without feeling guilty for not spending enough time with my boyfriend."

"Maybe you should just explain that to him Bells. I'm sure he will understand."

"I know I will." I sigh. "But let's forget about that for now. I want to hear about what's going on with the wedding." I say knowing that talking about the wedding will get Alice off the topic of my relationships. And I know I am right when Alice prattles on about the wedding all of the way to the spa.

When the girls and I are getting our nails done at the end of our spa trip I notice that Alice is nervous about something because she is fidgeting and looking over at me like she wants to say something. Throughout most of our spa day her and Jessica have been exchanging looks and sending nervous glances my way. Finally, after the 5th time she has looked over at me I let out a huff and say, "Alice for god sakes I know you have something to tell me, and its obviously about him, so just spit it out already!" I say frustrated that they are still tiptoeing around me in regards to Edward. I mean have I really been coming off as that broken?

Alice sighs. "I'm sorry Bella, we don't mean to frustrate you, we are just trying to make this month as easy for you as possible. This whole situation is just really hard, for all of us, and I hate the fact that I have brought you back into a painful situation."

"Al, I get it. But you have to stop trying to protect me. I am a big girl and I can handle it. Just tell me."

She looks at me as if she is gauging how well I am going to react to her news. She must have seen what she wanted because she finally tells me. "He is going to be staying with Jasper and I for the whole month. Apparently, he gave up his apartment when he thought he was going to be traveling for a year, since his lease was almost up, so Jasper volunteered to let him stay with us," she says looking over at me worriedly. "Sooo yeah, he will be around."

"Alice, of course Jasper offered to let him stay. If I was in the same situation you would do the same thing for me. And I expected to see him around a lot. I knew that came with the territory of coming back to Seattle. So really I'm fine."

She eyes me suspiciously like she doesn't believe me but decides not to comment. Finally, when we are finished getting our nails done, we head towards Alice's house. Alice of course insisted on doing my hair, and my makeup claiming that it has been way too long since she as been able to do it, and that I have to go along with it. Despite my protesting that I could do my hair and make up myself she played the whole "its my wedding so you have to do what I say card." Although I was slightly suspicious that she was doing it for a completely different reason I stopped arguing with her. Because even though I had said that I didn't want to play games I knew that showing him how desirable I was probably is the best way to prove that I have moved on.

 **Later that night: EPOV**

As Jasper and I step into the club I can't help but look around hoping to spot her. The girls had called while Jasper and I were in the car, telling us that they were already there. I had to admit, I was nervous as hell. The last time I saw this girl was 5 years ago when I was begging her to come back to me. And Edward Cullen did not beg. She was the only girl who had ever gotten under my skin. And I fucked it up big time. I knew that. Despite what it looked like I hadn't moved on. At all. I sigh. I know how angry she is with me. But I really hoped that we could both get to a place where we were at least civil towards one another. _Oh come on admit it to yourself. You want more than that._ And I did. I wanted to stick it to that asshole of a boyfriend she says she is in love with, and claim her as mine. And I didn't know if that could ever happen. So for right now I would stay with Kate. I sigh. I don't know how Kate and I happened. For a long-time we were just friends. But I had always known she wanted more. I hadn't considered taking it to the next level for a long time after everything with Bella and because I knew she would expect the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. But somehow after moving to Seattle, Kate and I fell into a relationship together, without me realizing it, and I couldn't break her heart. Not after everything she had done for me. Plus, I refuse to be alone. Especially right now.

I am pulled from my thoughts when Jasper yells, "Hey I am going to go look for the girls." Glad to have an excuse to have a few minutes by myself I nod my head and then say, "That's fine man, I am going to head to the bar, you want anything?"

"Yeah man just a beer is cool." Nodding my head that I got his drink order I head towards the bar. Just as I walk up to the bar a girl turns around and runs right into me. I grab her shoulders steadying her and look down. _Bella. Of course._ How is it possible that she is even more beautiful then she was five years ago? She is looking up at me with wide eyes probably just as shocked to run into me like this as I was. Even though she was probably going to kick my ass for doing this I couldn't help but check her out. I start out with her hair and notice it is curled in loose tendrils. As I continue my appraisal downwards I groan. She has on a tight white dress that hugs every inch of her curves, and she is wearing come- fuck- me heels. Damn, it was taking everything in me not to drag her into the bathroom right now and fuck her. Its not like we hadn't done it before right? But I knew if I tried she would kick my ass. So instead I let my memories pull me back into a time when we were in a similar situation…

 **Seattle, Washington 2009:**

 **EPOV:**

Walking into Starbucks on my way to class I pull my aviators up on top of my head. When I hear my phone ring I look down at my phone and sigh. Irina. I hit the ignore button. My parents have been trying to make Irina and I happen for years. While we had gone on a few dates and fucked a couple of times, and she was an attractive girl I was not ready to settle down yet. Much to my parent's disappointment. But it was ok, I was used to my parent's disappointment already. My parents were well known in the Seattle community with my dad owning his own successful doctor's office in Seattle. My mom also worked from home and owned her own interior design firm. But really she didn't have to work at all. Her father owned several multi-million-dollar business in Chicago and had set Esme and her family up for the rest of their lives. Both my mom and my dad said this relationship with Irina would be a match made in heaven. But really my dad wanted her father's business and was using me to make it happen. I knew it was something I had to deal with as soon as possible but I was honestly someone who was better at avoiding confrontation then facing it. Plus, chicks could be crazy. Especially when you were trying to end things with them. And as much as I didn't want to admit it, I wasn't ready to face my parent's wrath for ending things with her. They have been wanting me to to settle down with a girl that they approved of, _despite the fact that I was only twenty years old, I chuckle bitterly_ , get married, and have kids. But like I said I was not ready to settle down yet. I was having too much fun getting drunk, hanging out with my friends, and fucking a bunch of hot chicks. Despite my parent's disapproval, and my dads' threats to take away my trust fund, I was going to ride this life of being a free and single guy for as long as I could. And I knew they would never take away my trust fund. My mom would never allow that. Despite her need to marry me off to a girl right away my mom was the one who always put her kids first. As I was lost in my thoughts and looking through my phone I bump into something solid and hear, "shit." As a naturally reaction, and seeing the girl start to fall I reach out and grab the girl's shoulders steadying her.

"Watch where your fucking-" I say looking up. But I'm stopped mid sentence when I see who I have run into. This girl was gorgeous. She has long brown hair, a slim figure, and long legs that could go for days. But what really drew me to her was her big brown eyes fearfully looking at me. When they turn from fearful to angry at my comment I know I am about to be in trouble. And despite just meeting her, I knew I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with this girl.

"Excuse me but you were the one who fucking ran into me", she says angrily sounding like she was gearing up for a fight.

When she notices that I am not responding and just staring at her she raises her eyebrow. This is just what I need to get out of the trance I am in and respond. Realizing that I have already lost the upper hand in this situation, and really hating not having the control, I give her my crooked smile that works on every girl, and run my eyes up and down her body. _Gorgeous,_ I think to myself. Her response is to blush and look around everywhere but at me. Finally, I speak up.

"Your right I'm sorry. Please let me make it up to you beautiful by buying you another cup of coffee," I say making my voice sound seductive and velvety. She looks at me in disbelief and huffs.

"I'm good thanks, I can buy my own fucking cup of coffee." As she turns around to head towards the counter I grab her arm. Electricity _. I know she can feel it too because she gasps and suddenly pulls her arm away._ Loving the verbal sparring match, we have going, I say, "Damn for such a little girl you sure have a mouth on you."

At this she turns around and looks at me. She is fuming but all I can think about is fucking her up against the counter despite the fact that we were in a busy Starbucks. But damn, she was hot when she was angry.

"Fuck you. Does this work on all of the girls? Because just from looking at you I can tell you fucking do this a lot."

I wanted to respond but all I could think about was how the word fuck just came out of this girl's mouth. The sound of that word went straight to my dick. I smile at her though because I'm pretty sure she just called me attractive.

"Are you saying I am attractive, beautiful?" I say giving her my crooked smile again.

She huffs and rolls her eyes.

"Despite what you and probably half the female population think I don't find you the least bit attractive, so will you please leave me the fuck alone? And stop calling me beautiful."

Despite what she says I know she finds me attractive by the way she was checking me out earlier. And by the way she blushes every time I smile at her.

"You hurt me beautiful," I say putting my hand to my heart. I smile though knowing calling her beautiful again would piss her off. She gears up to respond but I stop her.

"Will you at least give me your name?" I ask wanting to know everything I could about this girl despite just meeting her. _What the fuck?_ I ask myself, _I don't get to know girls. I fuck them and leave them._ I can tell she is getting ready to leave again so I say quickly, "Mine is Edward."

"Nope not happening. Because if I give you my name you'll think this can lead to other things and like I said I'm not interested," she responds determined apparently to not give in to me.

"What other things are you talking about, beautiful," I say smirking at her. But her words have once again gone straight to my dick. _God the thought of doing other things with her…._ My mind has gone straight back to fucking her against the counter.

She huffs again and rolls her eyes at me. "Damn you're a cocky asshole," she says, "and like I said before I'm not interested. So it doesn't matter what it means. I'm going to go." She turns around to head to the door. Apparently thinking that getting away from me took precedence over her coffee needs. I grab her arm again to stop her from leaving.

"Well if you wont tell me your name at least let me buy you a cup of coffee. It's the least I could do for not paying attention earlier," I say giving her my crooked smile again.

"Your right it is the least you could do," she says. Then she rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Fucking fine, I will let you buy me another cup of coffee as long as you promise to stop hitting on me," she responds.

"I don't know if I could make that promise, beautiful, but I'll try."

She rolls her eyes again, huffs and starts walking towards the counter. I follow her and walk up behind her checking her out as I do so. When I get close enough to her I can't help but try to rattle her. She has acted so unaffected by me but I know she is feeling this connection just as much as I am. I lean down and whisper in her ear, "What do you want?" Purposely making my voice as seductive as possible.

I know it had the effect on her that I wanted when I see her shiver. She turns towards me pushing me back slightly. "What did I say about flirting with me Edward? She says trying to sound unaffected by me but failing when her voice wavers.

"Your way too beautiful to not be flirted with love," I say hoping that this girl would just give into me already. Never have I had this much trouble picking up a girl. Let alone getting something simple like her name. With most girls I would have already taken them home by now. But this girl was a challenge. And I definitely liked a challenge. In the middle of my thoughts I think I hear her mutter "unbelievable" before turning towards the barista. When I turn to look at her as well I notice she has been eyeing me appreciatively. I look over at the beautiful girl beside me and raise my eyebrows as if I was saying, _see this is how girls normally react towards me._ She rolls her eyes at me turns around and slams her hand down on the counter finally getting the barista to look over at her. _Hmmm interesting she looks jealous…_

"Caramel Macchiato please," she says angrily eyeing the girl behind the counter.

"And for you, sir, what do you want," she says eyeing me again and making her voice sound seductive. Normally, I would hit on this girl but I knew it would get me nowhere with the girl beside me. So instead I say a quick, "black coffee", hand her the money and push my girl down to the pick up line. _What the fuck? My girl? I'm pretty sure the last time I called a girl that was in middle school._

"So do you live around here?" I say once we get to the pick up counter.

"if I didn't tell you my name do you expect me to tell you where I live? She says snarkily.

"Ok fine will you at least tell me something about yourself? Anything, even something small."

She sighs. "Fine, I hate black coffee, like absolutely hate it," she says finally smiling at me. Damn she is beautiful when she smiles. All I could think about was doing whatever I could to make her smile like that again.

"Ok, I'll take it. Although I probably could have guessed that based on your drink choice."

She rolls her eyes. "Shut up, this shit is good have you ever tried it?"

"Nope, I'm a black coffee kind of guy."

"Try a sip of mine, seriously you'll love it."

'Wow you are actually going to share your drink with me? I'm honored," I say smiling down at her.

"Don't get a big head over it just try it," she says rolling her eyes and handing it over to me. I take a sip. _Alright that's pretty good._

"Not bad beautiful, you might have converted me."

She smiles at me. "Told you, Edward. One thing you will learn about me is that I am never wrong," she says smirking at me.

"You are one stubborn little girl, beautiful." I say to her hoping it will fire her up again. I hear my phone buzz in my pocket and look down, _Emmett._ I hit the ignore button again hoping to talk to this girl as long as possible. I had a feeling that if I didn't make a move soon I would never see this girl again. And I didn't want that to happen. As my eyes travel back up to her face I finally notice she has a piece of paper in her hand.

"What do you have in your hand beautiful," I say grabbing for the piece of paper before she can even think about keeping it out of my reach.

"What the fuck Edward? Have you ever heard of a little thing called privacy?" She says obviously getting pissed again. She tries to grab for the paper but being a foot taller then her I am able to keep it out of her reach.

"Of course I have, but one thing you will learn about me is I'm a nosy asshole," I say throwing her earlier words back at her. I hear her mutter something like, "You have the asshole part right." I smile looking down at the paper. Holy shit, its an application to the same restaurant I work at. I smile. Well it looks like I will be seeing her again. Despite my parent's abundance of money, I wanted to be able to make my own. Just in case my dad decided to be an asshole and try to cut me off again. I definitely wouldn't put it pass him. Plus, it had the added bonus of pissing my parents off. So I decided to apply for a job working at a local restaurant on campus. Right then I decide I am going to put in a good word for this girl with my manager Rosalie. She was two years older then me but her and her long time boyfriend Emmett have been my best friends since my freshman year. I look over at the beautiful girl in front of me who is eyeing me suspiciously probably wondering what the hell has me smiling at this piece of paper. My phone rings again. _Emmett again._ I was supposed to meet him 15 minutes ago and he was probably wondering where the fuck I was. Secure in the fact that I was going to see her again I look up and smile.

"Well, beautiful I have to go meet my friend." Thanks for letting me buy you a cup of coffee and for talking to me. I am sure I'll see you again soon," I say smiling at her. I then kiss her on the cheek lingering there for a few seconds. When I start to move back I can feel her breath quicken. This girl tries to act like she is unaffected by me but clearly she feels the same connection I do. As I walk towards the exit I turn around and look at her. She is looking around confused probably wondering what the fuck just happened and wondering why I was leaving when I was trying so hard to hit on her. I smile. She is in for a surprise when she comes in for her interview. I turn back around and head for the exit.

 _ **End flashback**_ _._

I am pulled from my memories when I hear the voice I haven't heard in 5 years, and thought I would never hear again.

"Edward," she says breathlessly.


	6. Chapter 6

A/n: **PLEASE READ THIS A/N!**

 **Thanks again guys for all who have favorited/reviewed/followed my story! A note for the rest of the story. The flashbacks will be jumping back and forth so I'm sorry if this confuses anybody! For now, on I will mark the flashbacks by months, as well as the year so that it will be less confusing. The flashback in the last chapter will be from sometime in January 2009. I think that is it! Let's continue on with the B/E reunion ;)**

 _I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me now. Flew me to places I never been, now I'm lying on the cold hard ground.- Taylor Swift I knew you were trouble._

 **Seattle, Washington: Present time**

 **BPOV:**

"Edward," I hear myself say after staring at him for a moment. I wince at how breathless my voice sounds when I say his name. At this realization I drop my eyes looking everywhere but at him. How is this possible? How is it possible that he can still effect me like this even after all of these years? I was doing fine before him. I was happy with Jake in New York living the life I had been dreaming of since I was a kid. So why did it feel like now that life would never be enough? I hated how he still effected me. I hated the fact that seeing him again made me turn back into that naïve 17- year- old that I was when we first met. He took advantage of how naïve I had been. By playing games with me since the day we met at that coffee shop. I am not even sure that any part of our relationship had been real. He was so cocky and sure of himself back then. Always parading countless women in front of me hoping to make me jealous before we even got together. Throughout our whole relationship, despite the fact that I had let myself fall for him, I had been waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. And when it did I had no one to blame but myself. For allowing myself to fall for someone who was so incapable of giving me or any other girl what they deserved. _But damn, why did he still have to be so fucking good looking_? I think to myself while my eyes run down his body. It wasn't fair. He only seemed to get better looking with age. His jaw was more pronounced than before, his hair longer, and in more of a disarray, his body lean but defined. When he notices that I am checking him out he smirks. But instead of commenting like I thought he would he says,

"Wow, how is it possible that you are just as clumsy as you were when we first met little girl."

I look up into his eye glaring at him sharply. He is looking at me with that crooked smile, the one he has been using since college to dazzle all of the girls. I notice that he is still holding me and at that moment I can feel the buzzing electricity that has been ever present since the day we first met. I step out of his arms clearing my throat and folding my arms in front of me.

"You are such a fucking asshole," I mutter glaring at him. He laughs at this. He never took my insults seriously even when we were together.

"Still have such naughty language, don't we little girl? How old are you now? 21? 22?" He says still laughing at me and giving me that crooked smile.

Damn him I think to myself. Ever since the day we met he had made me feel like a little kid. Like someone who was on the outside of his world. Someone he had to protect and look out for, instead of someone mature and older, someone who could stand on their own two feet. I guess it made sense though if I thought about. He never dated younger girls. Every girl he dated before me was at least a year or two older than him. But still, I was not the little weak girl that I was when I first met him. For someone who I thought was trying to protect me throughout our relationship, he sure was able to rip those blinders off of me easily. After that I was able to see how messed up relationships really were. How messed up we were.I sigh looking up at him. I know I have to put on a mask around him because there is no way I would let him know how much he hurt me. And how much he still effects me now. I glare up at him.

"You don't get to fucking do this Edward," I say running my hand through my hair. So much for not acting like I am effected, I think to myself. "You don't get to joke around with me and act like everything is ok." I push him back slightly when I see him start to reach for me with a remorseful look on his face. "And you sure as hell do not get to call me _that."_ I spit out. "I am not the young naïve girl that I was when we first met. You made sure of that, didn't you Edward?" I say trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice. I sigh. "Look, we are here for Alice, and Jasper. So lets just be civil towards one another for now, ok? No games, no flirting just two people who used to know each other a long time ago and now live our own separate lives." Before he can respond I look behind me and spot Alice. Pointing towards her I say, "I am going to go back, please don't make this harder then it has to be." I turn around and head back towards the table seeing that Jasper had joined the table as well.

When Alice sees me approach her she raises her eyebrows. "Hey babe, are you ok?" She asks raising her eyebrows at me. Clearly she saw the exchange that just happened between Edward and I. I look over at Jasper and see he is distracted talking on his phone about something work related.

"I'm fine, Al," I say smiling at her even though I really wanted to start crying. "I really don't want to talk about it." She opens her mouth like she wants to argue but is interrupted by Japer smiling over at me wrapping his arm around Alice's waist.

"Bells!" He says enthusiastically. "I'm so glad your finally here!"

"Its good to see you too, Jasper" I say to him smiling back. And it really was. Despite his shitty choices in friends, Jasper was such a great guy, and perfect for my best friend. Not only that but he was also pretty much the older brother I never had. At that moment I look around trying to find Jessica and notice she isn't there.

"Where is Jess?" I asked confused. Hadn't she been here a moment ago?

"Oh she got called into work," Alice says rolling her eyes. Jess's boss was a bitch. And despite the fact that it was a weekend night, her boss didn't give a shit. She worked 24/7 and expected her employees to do the same.

"She really needs to quit," I say pissed off that Jess's boss pulled her away again.

Alice nods in agreement. "I know but she loves that job. She is trying to make partner this year and being at her boss's side all of the time is probably the only way she will be able to get it. Plus, if she went somewhere else now she would have to start at the bottom again." I nod in agreement realizing she was probably right.

"I think it's time for shots!" Alice says enthusiastically changing the subject. And probably knowing I needed a shot at the moment.

"Hell yes," Jasper replies. "Have you guys seen Edward? I sent him to get beers awhile ago?" he asks while looking around. "Bells you didn't see him at the bar did you?"

"No I haven't met him yet," I reply nervously looking over at Alice.

"You are seriously going to love him, honey," he responds. Before I can contradict his words he continues. "In fact I think you guys would have been great together and I probably would have been trying to set you guys up if you weren't both attached."

I look around refusing to meet his eyes. People had told me that my emotions show on my face and the last thing I wanted was to start crying in front of Jasper. _Story of my life with him, Jasper, I think to myself just as my phone starts to ring._ I look down and see its Jake. _Damn this is definitely a sign that I need to be more focused on my current boyfriend rather then my ex across the bar._ But I couldn't help it. Seeing him again has me all confused. And once again I start to doubt whether inviting Jake into this chaos was a good idea. He still didn't know what happened. Or the fact the the best man was my ex. And I preferred it that way. But bringing him into this situation, I realized, would probably result in him finding out. And bring more unnecessary drama then I needed right now in my life. Regardless of all of the reasons I could think of not to invite him, I knew it was too late. So I answered.

"Hey baby I'm about 5 minutes away," he says in lieu of a greeting as soon as I pick up the phone. I try to hide a sigh. "Ok, I'll be out in a minute", I reply. When I hang up I look up at Jasper and Alice's curious faces.

"Jake is almost here. I am going to meet him at the entrance," I say trying to keep my nerves down. _Shit I feel like this night isn't going to go well_. I think to myself remembering a similar night when we both were with someone else and the night ended in fighting and- I shake my head hoping to forget about it. _It wouldn't be good to think about that now with him here and my boyfriend on his way._ I am interrupted from my thoughts by Alice.

"Yay I'm so excited to meet him!" Alice says bouncing up and down in her seat. "Bring him over to the table when he gets here and I'll go get shots for all of us!" Without waiting for a response Alice jumps out of her chair and heads over to the bar. As we watch Alice walk away Jasper turns to talk to me.

"She misses you, you know?" He says. I turn to look at him and sigh. "I know I miss her too. It's so hard being that far away from everyone."

"I don't think you told me why you left." Jasper says. "Jess let it slip that it was about more than just a new job. And when I asked Alice about it, and why it was a secret, she said that it was something that she didn't like to talk about. I think it just makes her sad to see you so upset," he says. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he adds quickly seeing the hesitancy in my face. I just worry about you. And ever since you sat down at the table you have looked like you are about 2 seconds away from bolting for the door and heading back to New York."

I sigh. Damn, I had forgotten that Jasper had always been good at reading people. I resign to telling him the truth while leaving out names. "Its complicated. But the short version is that a guy broke my heart 5 years ago and it was hard for me to stay in Seattle. Plus, I had always dreamed of moving to New York so it was a win-win. But now I heard from friends that he is back. And I really don't want to deal with him right now", I rush out glancing over at Jasper.

His face looks serious almost like he was holding back his anger. I smile. Jasper had always been so protective of me and I loved him for it. He looks over at me and puts his arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry you have to deal with that. And that being here is so hard for you. But you know both Alice and I are here for you, Bel. And trust me little sis if he so much as tries to talk to you, or hurt you again I'll kick his ass," he says angrily.

"Thanks, Jazz," I say giving him a side hug. He returns the hug and says, "Now, introduce me to that boy of yours so I can make sure I approve of him."

I roll my eyes at him and give him a slight slap on the arm. "Don't worry, dad", I smile at him. "You will love him." I get up and head for the door looking for my boyfriend. He is easy to spot towering over most of the people at the club. As I walk towards him I notice girls eyeing him appreciatively, and I smirk. I should probably think more into the fact that I am not jealous when other girls look at him. But going down that road would make me think about things I didn't want to think about right now. And besides I have never been a jealous girl. Well, except when I was with _him._ I sigh and shake my head not allowing myself to go there. When Jake finally spots me he smiles and walks over to me picking me up in his arms and spinning me around like I weighed nothing.

"Bells!" He exclaimed happily smiling at me. He leans down and captures my lips giving me a long kiss. At that moment I feel a searing heat to my left and I look over. _Edward. Of course._ He is glaring at us. His eyes moving between Jake and I furiously while clenching his hands into fists. I roll my eyes when I met his and then look back at my boyfriend before he can look over and see what I was staring at.

"Its good to see you baby," he says smiling down at me. I smile at him and tell him it is good to see him too. And it really was. But I'm not going to lie. Part of it was because I didn't want to be alone when _his_ girlfriend showed up.

'Come on let me introduce you to my friends," I say grabbing his hand. I don't know if it was because Edward had been touching me earlier or what it was but I notice at that moment that I don't feel a spark when I grab his hand like I do with…Damn I really needed to stop with the comparisons. It really wasn't fair to Jake. Jake had come out to support me and meet my friends. Something Edward never did when we were together. I think that is what bothered me the most about his new relationship. That he could so easily introduce her to his friends and family when he never did the same for me. I groan frustrated. It really wasn't fair for me to do this I realized. I had to start focusing all of my energy back on my relationship with Jake. Because he is who I should be with. He is the one who made me happy. He was like my own personal sunshine. Happy with my resolve regarding my relationship with Jake I look back at him and smile. He smiles back, and I stop to give him a kiss.

"What was that for babe?" He asks, "Not that I minded," he added quickly.

I smile at him. "Nothing, I'm just really happy." I say smiling at him.

'I am happy too, babe." He responds giving me a quick peck on the lips and grabbing my hand again. "Come on, lets go catch up with your friends."

I don't let myself think about the fact that I prefer Edward's nickname for me instead of the generic "babe" that I get from Jake. Instead I happily pull him over to my friends table. But then I stop short when I see who is at the table glaring at Jake with his arm around some blonde. _Shit. Edward._ My eyes slide over to the girl he is with. Seeing her made me feel like I was back to being that little mousy 17-year- old girl again. It never made sense, him wanting me, and now I knew why. She was gorgeous, of course, and exactly the type of girl he had always seemed to prefer. She was tall, blonde, statuesque and together her and Edward looked like the perfect model couple. He raises his eyebrows at me, smirking, when he notices that I am staring at his girlfriend. Realizing that I got caught I look over at Alice, and Jasper. The former looking at me worriedly, probably having seen the exchange between me, and Edward. I clear my throat and talk quickly before Jake can notice what is going on, "Alice, Jasper this is Jake." I say completely ignoring Edward and his model girlfriend.

"Nice to finally meet you," Alice says excitedly reaching up to give Jake a hug. If he is shocked by her hugging him after only just meeting, he doesn't show it. This is what I love about him. How friendly he is, and how easy it is to get along with him. "Bells has told me so much about you!"

At this Edward looks over glaring at Alice for her obvious friendliness with Jake.

"I hope only good things," Jake replies smiling at Alice. I look up at him and smirk, "Of course baby," I say giving him a quick peck on the lips. While kissing Jake I hear a low growl and the clearing of a throat. Alice looks over at Edward with her eyebrows raised smiling slightly, and says, "Oh sorry I forgot! Bella, Jake this is Edward, she says still smiling.

"And I'm Kate, Edwards _girlfriend_ ," she says smiling insincerely at me and reaching for my hand. "I have heard so much about you, Bella." I look over at Edward with my eyebrows raised. _Shit. How much has he told her?_ I see that Jake is looking between Kate and I curiously probably wondering what was going on. Damn it.

I look at her and smile back even though my nerves were shot at this point. "Nice to meet you?" I say to her although it comes out as more of a question.

"Come sit by me Bells!" Alice says obviously trying to diffuse the tension. "I got us shots!" She pulls my hand towards her and onto the couch so that I am sitting next to her. "I brought you a flask as well, Alice whispers in my ear. I figured you would need it." Smiling at her gratefully I open the flask and take a long pull of the liquid. I look over at Jake and smile when I see him and Jasper in a lengthy discussion about cars. Glad to see that they are getting along I turn back around to talk about the wedding with Alice when I catch Edwards eye. Despite the fact that his girlfriend is alternating between whispering in his ear and nuzzling his neck, his eyes remain on mine and then start raking over me again like when we first ran into each other. Although I knew that I needed to exit this situation as quickly as possible I continue to stare at him instead. There is a heat in his eyes when he stares at me, and I start remembering why our relationship had been so great in the first place. Because of that undeniable chemistry that we had together. When Jake reaches his arm behind me and starts massaging my neck Edwards eyes darken and he fixes me with an angry heated glare. It was too much. And I started to feel guilty. Guilty because my boyfriend didn't know what was going on. And guilty because I was maybe enjoying throwing my relationship in Edward's face a little too much. I started to see a flicker of something in his eyes. Maybe regret? Him finally understanding what it had been like for me? Or maybe I was projecting my own feelings. I'm sure I was just imagining things because he can't regret this whole situation right? It was suddenly becoming too much and I knew I couldn't sit there anymore. I knew it was time to get out of there. So I bolted out of my seat. When I am fixed with curious looks I knew I needed to come up with an excuse.

"I'm going to get more drinks" I rush out quickly. "Does anyone want anything?"

Before anyone can respond I start to walk away when Alice says, I'll come with you!" Probably realizing my need to get out of the situation as soon as possible. I don't bother stopping because I know she will catch up with me. When she does she puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Bell wait!" She exclaims almost sounding out of breath. When I stop she continues and I know she is about to go on a tirade about what just happened at the table. "What the fuck was that?"

I sigh. I knew her too well. "Nothing Alice what do you mean?" I say hoping she will just drop it. But I know she wouldn't drop it. And I know I am right when she puts her hands on her hips and fixes me with a pointed glare. Almost like she was saying, " _Yeah right bitch."_

"I don't know Alice why don't you ask Edward? He was the one glaring at me one second and checking me out the next. And I know I could have handle it better ok? I didn't have to walk out of the situation. I know that. But when you see your ex again after 5 years let's see how much better you can handle it." I say frustrated running my hand through my hair. Damn Edward Cullen and his annoying hair habits.

Alice sighs. "I'm not criticizing how you are handling this situation Bella." She says looking down at her feet. "I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to fall for his charm again. You have a great guy and I don't want you to ruin it because Edward Cullen has walked back into your life."

"I appreciate your vote of confidence Alice," I reply sarcastically. _Although I did understand where she was coming from. I mean he did play games with me enough when we were together right?_ I sigh. "Al I really am handling this situation the best that I can. All I need from you is your support."

"And you have it," Alice replies vehemently. "I'm going to do everything I can to help you through this situation." She says confidently. I smile at her and wrap her in a hug.

"Thanks, Al. That means a lot. Seriously." I smile at her hoping that we can just drop this for now. "Let's go get some shots!" I exclaim excitedly. Realizing I didn't want to talk about it anymore she laughs and follows me up to the bar. The bartender notices me right away, and walks down to our side of the bar striding confidently and checking me out. I roll my eyes at Alice, and she just looks at me and then at the bartender laughing her ass off. And probably thinking this was hilarious. _I mean really? Did I not have enough drama in my life as it is?_ When he finally reaches me his voice has a flirty tone to it.

"What will you have, beautiful?" He says smiling at me.

Damn why did he have to call me beautiful? He was extremely attractive and I probably would have been interested if he hadn't used Edwards nickname for me, or if I had never met Edward. Or if I wasn't in a relationship, I reminded myself _. I sigh. And then roll my eyes at him._

"Two tequila shots, and two long islands please." I say quickly hoping to avoid the fact that this guy was attempting to flirt with me.

"No problem, beautiful." He says smirking at me. When he brings the drinks back he says, "This is all on the house." He continues, trying to impress me. I see Alice trying to hold in her giggles but obviously failing. I roll my eyes at him and thank him. At that moment I feel a heated glare and then an arm wraps around my shoulder. I stiffen, feeling that familiar electrical current. The bartender notices and looks at me saying, "Is this your boyfriend?" He asks eyeing Edward's arm on my shoulder and realizing how pissed off Edward looked. I roll my eyes at him, shake off Edward's arm and turn around not even bothering to answer. I tell Alice quickly to give me a second and pull Edward with me to a corner of the bar.

"Oh and I get off at 2 tonight if you want to hangout later." The bartender calls out. At this I hear Edward growl. I roll my eyes but continue pulling him.

"Edward what the fuck was that?" I ask pissed off at his behavior.

"I was saving you. That guy didn't have anything on his mind other than taking you home and fucking you." He spits out obviously disgusted. I stare at him not being able to believe how much of a hypocrite he was being.

"Your one to fucking talk Edward." I say pissed off. "You have been that exact way with girls for most of your life."

He sighs running his hand through his hair frustrated. "I have changed ok? Whether you want to believe me or not."

And that literally devastated me. Because if he really did change it was for _her_ not for me.

I sigh wanting to get out of this situation as quickly as possible and realizing the only way to do that was to hurt him.

"Look, whatever, it doesn't matter. You are not my boyfriend and you have no right-"

"Yeah. Got it. Thanks," he says pulling his arm from me and stalking off.

I stare after him. I knew I had to do it, but that didn't mean that it hurt any less having him dismiss me like that. I sigh realizing it was for the best. Edward and I would never happen again. Too much has happened and we were both too broken. Regaining my resolve to make my relationship with Jake work, I head back to the bar to find Alice. _Damn I am the most indecisive person. I think to myself frustrated at the fact that Edward can still effect me so deeply. Enough to question my relationship with Jake over and over._ When I finally spot Alice she is looking at me worriedly. I hate that I am causing her this much stress. It wasn't fair. This was supposed to be the happiest time of her life. She grabs my arm pulling me to her wrapping me in a hug.

"Are you ok, Bel?" She asks me whispering in my ear.

Knowing that I need to stop her from worrying so much I pull away from her smiling and say, "I'm fine Al. Enough about that for tonight. Let's talk about your wedding!" I say excitedly. I was so happy for her. I really was. And I wanted to focus on something positive. Like usual she wanted to argue but realizing I needed to shift focus she starts talking about the flower arrangements and the fact that we have an appointment to look at them tomorrow. In the middle of our conversation I feel two strong arms wrapping around my waist. I freeze. And I start to feel a sense of dread. But then I look back and realize it's Jake. He whispers in my ear, "You owe me a dance honey."

I look back at him and smile whispering, "Of course." I turn back around and see Alice is in Jaspers arm and Edward…I sigh. Is of course doing the same, dancing with his girlfriend. God. Was it ever going to get easier? Seeing him with his arms around someone else? I look away and am determined to not let it bother me. Jake turns me around and I look at him surprised. He leans down and gives me a long and passionate kiss. I tried to get into it but all I could think about was the fact that Edward was two feet away from us. When Jake and I break apart I feel a heated glare and am not surprised when I look over and realize that it was coming from Edward. We continue looking at each other. Our glares matching one another. Both of us trying to win whatever game it was that we were playing. Finally, his girlfriend notices that his attention is elsewhere, and pulls his chin towards her. She then pulls his chin down kissing him passionately. I look away. I have seen way too many scenarios where this has happened before and didn't really want another reminder. But of course I can't stop myself from being pulled back into a memory of a similar night almost 7 years ago….

A/n: I'm sorry to stop it there but if I continued with the flashback it would be way too long! So you'll find out what happened next chapter :) What do you think of our Edward? Doesn't handle jealousy well does he? ;) thanks again everyone for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/n: I'm so sorry its been awhile since I have updated. Between helping my friend with her wedding, grad school, work, and interviews for internships RL is taking all of my time. I did make the chapter long though to make up for making you wait :) I have a question for you guys. A couple of reviewers asked me if there was a possibility that I could write an EPOV of the last chapter or an EPOV in general. Are either something anyone else would be interested in? If there is interest in a EPOV I will definitely do it! Also please leave me some love if/when you have a chance. I love reading all of your comments and feedback :) And as always thanks for all who have reviewed/followed/favorited my story! Now on with the flashback :)**_

 _Song inspiration for this chapter: "In my head I see you all over me. In my head you'll fulfill my fantasies. In my head, your screaming more. In my head, its going down in my head"- Jason Derulo, In My Head._

 _ **Seattle, Washington**_

 _ **June 2009**_

 _ **BPOV**_

Standing in my room I fall back onto my bed looking up at the ceiling. I cannot believe I graduated from high school last week. And soon Alice and I would pack up all of our stuff and head to UDUB **t** ogether. What a crazy last year of school it has been. Especially since meeting Edward six months ago. I sigh. I have to admit that when I met him I was intrigued. He was undeniably gorgeous. Even I could admit that. With his wild sex hair, green eyes, well defined jaw and scruff. And he knew exactly what to say, and what to do to make all of the girls fall for him. But that wasn't the only thing that drew me to him. There was this undeniable pull that I felt towards him since the moment we met at the coffee shop. Telling me that I shouldn't let this one go. And when he first touched me? God I felt like my whole body had been on fire. The heat and the chemistry that I felt between us was something I had never felt before. There was an electrical current that I felt throughout my body. That had to mean something right? But then he just left. Left with barely an explanation. And I was confused. And I could admit, I was a little hurt. Was the connection, the pull I felt towards him one-sided? Did he lose interest because I was playing hard to get, and he knew there were other girls that didn't take as much work? But this is what he did right? This was the kind of guy he was and the way he acted with every girl. I'm sure this was a part of his game. Leaving them wanting more. I had been played. And I had no one else to blame but myself. Because this was clearly the kind of guy he was. And I was ashamed to admit that I wasn't sure whether I was angry with him for all of these games or if it had made me even more intrigued. Because in high school it had been too easy. Guys in high school did not have game. But this guy was older. And he knew exactly what he was doing. I felt every bit the 17-year old girl that I was. I sigh and let my mind drift back to the first time I saw him again after the coffee shop.

 _I sigh running my hands up and down my dress as I look up at the door of Eclipse, the restaurant I was about to go interview at for my first real job. I was nervous. Despite my confident demeanor in most situations, interviews made me nervous as hell. Probably because it was a lot of pressure. And I had a lot riding on this. I needed this job in order to pay for college. My dad worked as the chief of police and barely made enough to make ends meet. And I barely spoke to my mom so she was out as well. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. I can do this; I think to myself. I open my eyes and open the door to the restaurant. Looking around my eyes zero in on a familiar head of bronze hair. My mouth opens in shock when I realize it was the guy who I can grudgingly admit has starred in many of my dreams since I first met him. Edward. There he was leaning on the bar chatting with some busty blonde women, looking just as beautiful as I remembered. He must have seen me walk in because a few seconds after staring at him his head snap up and his eyes look straight into mine. And right then I felt that rush of heat that I felt every time he stared at me. After a moment his stare turned into a crooked grin and my heart stopped for a moment. Damn how could he effect me this much after only just meeting him a week ago? Every time he looked at me I felt this undeniable pull towards him. My body telling me that I needed to be closer to him. I started wondering if this feeling was one sided. Because despite my young age I wasn't stupid. I knew just from the 10-minute conversation that we had that he was a player. And meeting and hitting on girls in coffee shops was probably a regular occurrence for him. Nothing note worthy. So I wasn't going to let myself fall for him. And I definitely wasn't going to let him play games with me. Finally pulling myself from my thoughts I glare at him. Because I then realized that he looked at my application at the coffee shop and knew I was applying to work here. Is that why he just left in the middle of our conversation? Maybe he was just as effected by me as I was by him. The blonde beside him finally notices that Edward isn't focusing on their conversation anymore and looks over to see what he is staring at. When she finally sees me her eyes look me up and down scrutinizing me. Whatever she sees must come up short, or maybe she notices how young I look, because she turns around and starts a heated conversation with Edward. Realizing that I am being talked about I head towards them glaring at Edward the entire way. When I reach them they cut their conversation off and they look over at me._

" _Bella." Edward says smiling at me with that crooked smile. I glare at him because I realize that he probably found out my name through his boss._

" _You fucking cheat." I say trying not to smile._

 _He puts his hand on his chest like he is wounded. But continues smiling at me._

" _I'm hurt, beautiful that you would think so little of me. But when I want something I do everything I can to get it." He says smirking at me._

 _I roll my eyes. "Despite your cocky attitude and your obvious charm there will be no "getting me." I say using air quotes to emphasize my point. "So give it up Edward, because I am never going to want you," I say with a satisfied smirk._

 _I see a flash of hurt on his face, and I can't help but start to feel guilty for what I said. Before he can respond though I hear a throat clear and I look over at the blonde next to us. Damn I forgot she was there; I think to myself. She is looking between us with her eyebrows raised probably trying to figure out what was going on._

" _I'm Rosalie. Let's go into my office and get this interview over with. Edward quit flirting with the poor girl, and get back to work," she snaps and then starts walking towards her office quickly not even bothering to look back to make sure I am coming. Damn I must have pissed her off, I think to myself. And I really needed this job. Just as I open my mouth to apologize she turns around and glares at me._

" _Are you and Edward fucking?" She asks me in a biting tone. My mouth opens in shock. The nerve of this girl. I did need a job but I was not willing to bite my tongue while this girl who doesn't even know me judges my character like this. Just as I am about to open my mouth to respond she continues on. "Look Edward was trying pretty fucking hard to convince me that you should be hired. And he only does things like that for his own benefit. So again are you fucking?" She asks continuing to glare at me._

" _Not that it is any of your fucking business but no we aren't fucking," I spat out. "Despite my age I am not stupid. I am not like those other women and I definitely will not allow myself to be treated that way by him. Or by you for that matter. Thanks for the interview but I don't think I want to work for someone who doesn't even know me and can question my character like this," I say angrily standing up. I am walking towards the door ready to give Edward a piece of my mind for ruining this for me when I hear Rosalie calling me._

" _Wait Bella." She sighs. "Listen I'm sorry. Please sit down." When I finally do she continues. "It's just that the last thing I want is to hire you just to have you quit in couple of months because Edward has broken your heart. Because that is what he does. Believe me this has happened before."_

 _I wince when I realize my thoughts about him being a player when we first met were accurate._

" _You seem like a nice girl so I'm going to give you a piece of advice. I love Edward. He is practically like a brother to me. But he is dangerously sexy. And he will break your heart if you let him. So don't fall for him. And don't give in to him. Because you seem like a relationship type of girl. And Edward will never be that kind of guy."_

 _I'm not sure whether I should be upset that she thinks I am weak, or flattered that she is looking out for me. Despite this I hate when people think that they need to take care of me and look out for me. With my dad being gone all of the time for work, and going on long fishing trips, and my mom not being in the picture, I have had to take care of myself from a young age. So I would never be ok with anyone thinking I am too young to take care of myself._

" _Look," I sigh, "I appreciate your concern. But I can handle Edward myself. And trust me when I say that nothing will ever happen between me and Edward. Trust me I have known enough guys like Edward, and I am immune to their charms." I get up out of my chair thinking I have blown my chances of getting this job._

" _Wait Bella!" She says stopping me in my tracks. When I turn around she continues. "I like you Bella. And my initial thought of you being another member of Edward's airheaded harem seemed to be wrong. Plus, no one has ever stood up to me before. A lot of girls seem to be scared of me," she smirks._

" _Can't imagine why," I mutter to myself, and she smiles in return._

" _Your "I'm not going to take anyone's shit" attitude reminds me a lot of myself. And I like that. So I am going to hire you. But don't make me regret it." She says returning to her harsh business like tone._

 _I look at her in shock. I never expected to be hired after cussing at her, and telling her off._

" _Wow thank you. I promise you won't regret it."_

" _I better not." She says filing away my resume and shuffling paperwork as she is talking to me. Thinking she is done I start heading for the door._

" _One more thing. Report back here tomorrow at 8am sharp. Don't be late. Oh and you will be trained by Edward." Then she looks back down at her paperwork and flicks her wrist dismissing me. I open and close my mouth indecisively. Wanting to argue but also not wanting to lose my job already. I knew I was already on thin ice from talking back to her earlier. When she notices that I am still standing there she looks up raising her eyebrows at me questioning why I am still there._

" _It's just that I thought you said you didn't want anything to happen between us but your kind of throwing us together. Wouldn't it be better if we stayed away from each other?" I ask nervous that she is going to tell me off._

 _She studies my face for a second and then responds. "You know for someone who says that they have no interest in Edward and won't fall for his games you sure are eager to not spend any time with him." She says raising her eyebrow at me. I open my mouth to respond but she interrupts me and sighs._

" _Look as much as I don't want to throw the two of you together, and as much as it pains me to say, Edward is the best we have." She says rolling her eyes and smiling at me. Its obvious that she loves him but she knows that a compliment like that would make his overinflated ego even bigger. "He knows how to charm, as you have already seen, and he rakes in big tips. And as much as I would like to train you myself I don't have the time. So you'll report to Edward tomorrow." She says with a finality in her tone. I know its no longer up for discussion so I nod my head and walk towards the door._

" _Oh and Bella?" She calls out. I turn around. "If you ever tell him that I said he is the best we have I will kick your ass." She says smiling at me._

 _I smile back and say, "Don't worry the last thing I want to do is make him even more cocky then he already is." She laughs as I walk out the door. As I am walking towards the entrance I hear Edward call my name. I am still pissed at him for almost ruining my chances so I roll my eyes, and continue towards the door ignoring him. He catches up to me though and grabs my arm. And once again I feel that electrical shock. I close my eyes and groan in frustration. Will that feeling ever go away? I ask myself. I turn around and look at him._

" _Bella wait, what's wrong? Did you not get the job?" He asks furrowing his eyebrows. "Give me a minute and I'll go in and talk to Rosalie. I told her how much you deserve this job." He says seriously._

 _I yank my arm from his grip and glare at him. "Edward, despite what you might think I can fucking take care of myself. I don't need your help. And your help", I say in quotations, "almost prevented me from getting the job in the first place. So will you please stay out of it? I am not some young naïve girl who needs saving ok? So why don't you focus your energy on one of your groupies."_

" _What do you mean my help almost prevented you from getting the job?" He asks, his face scrunching up in confusion. Damn, I hate that fact that he almost looks cute when he is confused. I sigh shaking the thought from my head, focusing on the anger instead of the undeniable chemistry and attraction between us. At least on my end._

" _Rosalie," I spit out, "thought we were fucking and that's why you were trying to convince her to give me the job. Literally the first question she asked me was, "are you and Edward fucking?" And she told me she wouldn't give me the job because you were going to break my heart in a few months and I was going to quit." I rush out realizing now I should have kept my mouth shut when I see the anger in his face._

" _Bella she had no right- "_

" _But she isn't wrong, is she Edward?" I say interrupting him. That's the kind of guy you are. And according to her you have done it before."_

" _She need to learn to keep her damn mouth shut," he mutters to himself running his hand through his hair._

 _I sigh realizing I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with him. Or cause any trouble between him and Rosalie. Because in order for this to work we all needed to be able to get along. "Look it doesn't matter what she said. I am not looking to date right now. I have too much on my plate, and I cannot afford to lose this job. So can we please just be friends? I ask him pleadingly holding my hand out to shake his hand._

 _He looks at me and runs his hand through his hair again sighing. Then he shakes his head and smiles grabbing my hand and says, "friends." I smile back at him ignoring the ache in my stomach at how easily he agreed to be friends with me. But I knew it was for the best. I needed this job and I wasn't going to let this attraction ruin it._

" _I will see you tomorrow," I say smiling at him. And before he can say anything else I turn around and walk out the door._

I am pulled from my memories when I see Alice running into my room. She jumps up on my bed screaming "Happy birthday bitch!" Then tackles me in a hug.

"Al can't breathe." I say feeling like I am suffocating from how tight she is hugging me.

"Sorry I'm just so excited! Finally, your 18 and we can go out and celebrate your birthday the right way!" She says excitedly jumping up and down on my bed.

"Allie calm down." I say putting my hand on her shoulders. "What do you mean we are celebrating the right way? I thought we were just going to have a small party at your house?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "Bella you only turn 18 once! We have to do it up big! And I was talking to Rose last week and she got an invitation to the club opening at New Moon! So I told her that your birthday was this week and she said she would get us tickets for your birthday!" She says excitedly. Alice had started coming to my work complaining that she never got to see me anymore, which was probably true, and her and Rose struck up an easy friendship.

I freeze when I realize what this means. "Al why would you tell her when my birthday was? You know I don't like to make a big deal out of my birthday."

"Like I said you only turn 18 once! And everyone is coming; Rose, friends from school, most of your friends from work"- She cuts off when she sees my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I say looking around my room trying to fight off the nervousness that I was starting to feel. Did that mean _he_ was going to be there? Despite his insistence that he was ok with being friends, Edward had continued to hit on me and ask me to hangout every chance he could get. Always claiming that we would just being hanging out as friends. But honestly, I didn't trust myself, or him for that matter, enough to risk hanging out with him outside of work.

She sighs. "Look Bells I know its your birthday but please go along with this! It'll be fun! You have been working your ass off all through high school and now its time to let loose and have fun. I am doing this for you! Plus, there will be a ton of hot older boys coming." She says excitedly. And that is exactly what I was afraid of. That a particular hot older boy would be there. She looks at me studying my face.

"Bells what is going on with you and Edward?" She asks realizing what has me so hesitant. Damn she is way too perceptive for her own good. And apparently she has been talking to Rosalie way too often.

"What are you talking about? There is nothing going on between me and Edward. I have made that clear from the beginning." I say looking away from her and tidying up my room.

She rolls her eyes at me. "Bella I have known you since we were little. I know you better than anyone, and I know when you have feelings for someone. Why can't you admit it? Besides you deserve to go out and have fun with a guy. Even if it doesn't end up going anywhere."

I sigh tired of having this conversation with everyone. All of my friends see the attraction we have and keep insisting that we should at least hook up. "Al I work with the guy. I am not going to mess that up by starting something with him, and then making it awkward to be around him everyday at work when things don't work out. I need this job and I am not about to screw it up for some meaningless fling." I say frustrated that I am still trying to convince other people, and myself I have to admit, that this wasn't a good idea. "Besides I don't like him like that. He is a cocky asshole." I say and Alice looks at me disbelievingly. _Wow when did I turn into such a bad liar? I think to myself._ "Can we just drop this for now please?" I ask pleadingly.

She looks like she wants to argue but nods her head. Then she gets a spark in her eyes and I know she has another idea. "James is going to be there." She says smiling at me. I sigh and roll my eyes. I have to admit that James was hot. But he was like a cocky less attractive version of Edward. Plus, after countless attempt on his part to flirt with me we finally got to a place where we could be friends. Edward hates him though. And that's made it a lot easier for me to like James. I roll my eyes and throw a pillow at her head. She laughs and then looks at me sighing.

"Bells I can uninvited Edward if you want me to. But he is bringing Alec and I really like him." She says looking anywhere but at me. "I don't want to be selfish, and it is your birthday. So if you really don't want him there I understand." She says looking down and picking at the thread of my bedspread.

I sigh. I know that she really likes him and this is her opportunity to talk to him. Plus, she would do the same for me if she was in my position. "I guess I can put up with him for one night," I say rolling my eyes. She looks up at me excitedly, "Are you sure Bells? It is your birthday."

"Yea, its fine. Besides there will be plenty of guys there right? I doubt I will have to even be around him." I don't know whether I am trying to convince her of this or myself. She nods vehemently.

"Bells I promise, your going to have a great night! And we are going to find you a hot guy to flirt with so you can forget all about him." I smile at her. "All right let's get ready," she says excitedly clapping her hands together.

We head to Rose's apartment an hour later, both Alice and I telling our parent's that we are staying at our friend Jess's house for the night. As we walk into her apartment we hear the music blasting and see Rose pouring tequila into shot glasses.

"Hey girls the cab will be here in 5 minutes. So let's down some tequila shots and get this party started! You guys can crash at my house tonight." We nod our head and move towards the kitchen.

After several shots of Tequila, we all head to the bar. When we get there there is a line stretching all the way down the street. Rose of course struts her way to the front, grabbing my and Alice's hand as well, and talks to the bouncer. He looks her up and down and then grants her access not even looking at her ID. They talk for a second but when he looks back he waves Alice and I through as well. Alice giggles grabbing my arm. "Men," she says rolling her eyes.

"Thank god for Rose," I say rolling my eyes with her. She stops me and looks me in the eye for a few seconds.

"You don't see your self clearly do you?" She says looking at me.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Bells the only reason he let us in was because he saw you there. Rose was trying to convince him to let us in but the second he looked at you he didn't even bother asking for our I.D.'s." She says seriously. I roll my eyes at her pushing her forward. "Your crazy Al," I say thinking she is trying to make me feel better. She rolls her eyes back at me knowing I have never been good at taking compliments.

"She's right you know," Rose chimes in hearing the end of our conversation. "More than half of the guys at work have a thing for you. It drives Edward crazy." She says rolling her eyes.

I suck in a breath at the mention of Edward. He can't really be jealous right? And he wouldn't have anything to worry about anyways. The other guys were just being friendly, and welcoming the new girl. I laugh it off thinking she is just trying to make me feel better.

"Whatever guys, let's go get drinks," I say feeling like I need to change the subject. As I am walking up to the bar Rose pulls me away by the arm.

"You really don't know do you? She asks looking at me unbelievingly.

"Know what?" I ask her wondering why she is looking at me like that.

"How he feels about you,' she says looking at me in shock.

"Rose what the hell are you talking about?" I ask shaking my head in disbelief not really wanting to believe that Edward is who she is talking about.

"You both are so damn clueless," she says shaking her head. Before I can respond I feel a tap on my shoulder. Looking over my shoulder I see an extremely good looking guy smiling at me nervously.

"Hi, I saw you come in and I was wondering if I could buy you a drink." He says smiling at me.

I turn around fully to look at him and smile. He is tall with brown hair and blue eyes, and most importantly he didn't act like a complete jack ass when he was introducing himself to me. It definitely wasn't something I was used to. Realizing Alice was right and I needed to have a little fun, I smile at him and say, "Of course." I look over at Rosalie and she is smirking at me like she is proving a point. I roll my eyes and follow the guy to the bar.

"My names Nick by the way." He says smiling at me and leaning against the counter.

"Bella," I say smiling back at him. He seemed to be a nice guy and exactly the kind of guy I needed at the moment. Someone I could flirt with and have fun with without any complications. I look around for my friends and notice that my friends from work have already joined our group. I see Edward who is of course surrounded by three girls practically groping him. He is smiling at them and flirting, seeming to enjoy all of the attention. I roll my eyes and focus my attention back on Nick.

For several hours Nick, and I continued talking eventually rejoining our group. I introduce him to all of my friends, sans Edward, who had disappeared somewhere, probably doing god knows what with those girls that were all over him earlier. All of my friends take an instant liking to Nick, and I know he could easily fit into my group of friends. As I got to know him I realized he would never be boyfriend material. But he definitely seemed like someone I could hangout with and could eventually help me forget about a certain bronze hair sex god that I haven't seemed to be able to forget about since the day I met him. _Damn this tequila for making me think about Edward, I think to myself. He wasn't Edward,_ And I had to admit. The whole time I had been talking to Nick I had been looking for him. And this pissed me off. Why couldn't I get him out of my head? Being with him would be stupid, reckless, complicated, and…amazing. I finally let myself think that last word. Finally, being truthful to how I really feel. All I wanted to do was say fuck the consequences and be with him. I don't know whether it was the alcohol or what it was, but suddenly I didn't care how complicated my relationship with Edward was going to be. I mean didn't Rosalie say he had feelings for me? Maybe we could make something work after all. Feeling brave from my alcohol induced haze I was just about to excuse myself and tell Nick that I had to go find my friends when I see Edward return with his arms wrapped around a girl I didn't recognize. And just like that I remember why starting something with Edward would be a bad idea. Because he was a player. Who couldn't stay with the same girl for even a single night. And I know that if I opened myself up to him he would only break my heart. So instead I focus all my energy back on Nick. He is someone I think I could eventually have real feelings for and I was ready to explore that. I am interrupted from my thoughts when I feel Nick get close.

"Do you want to dance?" Nick asks whispering in my ear. I turn away from Edward and look at Nick smiling.

"I would love to." He smiles at me and wraps his arms around my waist as I put my head on his shoulder. When I feel a familiar electrical current I look over and am not surprised to see that Edward is staring at me. I roll my eyes at him and turn my face focusing on the gorgeous guy I am dancing with. When we pull our faces apart Nick looks down at me and puts a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"Your gorgeous, you know." He says his hand traveling from behind my ear down my neck rubbing his thumb over my pulse while his hand was behind my neck.

I look down and blush. "Thank you," I say. He puts his fingers under my chin lifting my head up and starts to lean in. I realize that he is about to kiss me, and while I can think of a million reasons why this would be a bad idea, Edward being right there for instance, I decide to just let myself feel, and have fun despite the consequences. When we break apart I look over and see that Edward is still staring at me. But this time his eyes look dark and angry. And it all becomes too much. He looks like he is seconds away from imploding, the force of his rage threatening to put a damper on the mood for the entire night. And I start to feel guilty. Like maybe I was playing games with him too. I worry now that I have allowed him to infiltrate himself too much into my life. Because his anger shouldn't be able to effect me like this. And I didn't want to start a fight. Not tonight. But instead of exploding like I thought he would he clenches his jaw and is able to reign himself in. Suddenly, his face clears and he looks me in the eyes a smirk forming on his face. I look at him worriedly, not understand what is about to happen. He looks back over at the girl he is with and lifts her chin to his kissing her long and hard. And I am hurt, and devastated. Because I know he is doing this purposely, trying to hurt me. And I would never do that to him. I look away, and suddenly, I start to feel the effects of the alcohol hit me. And all I want to do was cry. I knew that I needed to get out of there. I am able to hold in my tears and look back at Nick trying to force a smile on my face when he calls my name. Before I can excuse myself though I feel a tap on my shoulder.

Both Nick and I look over and see…Edward. Of course why am I not surprised. He is looking at both of us so damn beautiful and…angry.

"Can I talk to Bella for a moment," he says glaring at Nick. Not even bothering to wait for an answer he pulls me by the arm and the next thing I know I am being dragged into the hallway. Looking up and getting ready to tell Edward off for pulling my arm like that I look into his eyes and see that they are still dark and angry. And the words I am about to say get caught in my throat.

"Who the hell is that guy?" He asks angrily his chest is heaving up and down and his are hands clenched into fists. "You certainly don't waste any time do you" He says bitingly.

I look at him in disbelief, not believing that his first words to me all night were so angry and hurtful.

"What the hell is your problem?" I ask confused as to where this is coming from.

"I don't have a problem. It just seems like you more than happy to talk to any guy that'll give you any sort of attention," he spits out angrily.

And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask even more confused.

"I just don't get you. First Brady from work who I heard you went out on a few dates with even though you told me that you wouldn't date anyone from work. And then the guy tonight? You certainly get around don't you?" he asks smirking at me but at the same time looking pissed off.

I look at him confused and hurt, not understanding why he was saying this to me. He had never talked to me like this before. He had never been so rude and hurtful towards me.

"Really Edward? Your going to go there like you have any right to say anything to me? You are a fucking hypocrite. You can't even stay with the same girl for a single fucking night," I spit out. And when his face turns into a smirk I realize I played right into his hand. He wanted me to be jealous, and I just proved that I was.

"Jealous, are we Bells?" He says continuing to smirk at me.

I roll my eyes at him and turn around to walk away. I was tired of his games and I wasn't going to play anymore. He grabs my arms and spins me around. He opens his mouth as if he was about to apologize. But I suddenly, didn't want to hear it. What right did he have to talk to me the way he did? How dare he judge me when he doesn't even know me? I hold my hand out to stop him from speaking.

"No, I don't want to hear it." I say angrily. "I don't know what your problem is but you don't get to do this, Edward." I say yelling at him. "You don't get to take whatever is bothering you out on me. I am not your fucking punching bag. I didn't do anything to you so whatever is bothering you obviously isn't about me. So you yelling at me isn't fair, and I don't deserve it."

He looks at me for a moment and then shakes his head bitterly. "Yeah, your right Bella it doesn't have anything to do with you." He says laughing sarcastically. Then he turns around and walks away. Where the hell did this come from? He has a million girls that flirt with him every day at work. And he had girls hanging off of him all night tonight. What right does he have to be upset that I am talking to one guy? I shake my head even more confused then I was the first day I met him. I go back to the bar in search of Nick not wanting to go back to my group of friends and have to deal with _him._ Before I can find him though I am stopped by Alice.

"Bells what the hell happened?" She asks worriedly. I just saw Edward stomp off, even more angry then I have ever seen him, and Rose and Emmet were following him. Did something happen?"

I really didn't want to start crying but I knew I was about to. "I just," I say sniffling, "don't get it." I was getting ready to tell him how I feel about him, but before I could he pulls me by the arm and says all of these mean things to me. Basically calling me a fucking whore," I say now full on crying, "and I did nothing to deserve it. Anyways he is one to talk right? He has countless women all over him all the time! And he probably hooks up with all of them. How can he call me a whore when he does exactly what he is excusing me of doing?" I spit out now getting angry. "I mean what the fuck? What right does he have to treat me this way?"

Alice looks at me worriedly. "Bells, Rose is right, you and Edward are both fucking clueless," she says shaking her head. But then something dawns on her and her face lights up. "Bella what exactly were you going to say you felt about him?" She says obviously only catching the beginning of my long rant.

I roll my eyes at her because she seemed to be all for Edward and I getting together. "Nothing it doesn't matter let's get back to everyone." I say. Not even bothering to wait for her answer I walk back to our group. Rose and and the man I assume to be Emmett have returned without Edward. He must still be off pouting about whatever seemed to have crawled up his ass, I think to myself bitterly. Emmet sees me and smiles. He then comes over to me and lifts me in his arms spinning me around. When I look around I see Edward has returned and he is glaring at Emmett and me. His eyes focusing on the fact that Emmet's arms are around my waist. I mean really? I think to myself. Isn't this your best friend? I roll my eyes and then focus on Emmet noticing he has set me back down.

"You must be the infamous Bella. I have heard a lot about you." He says smirking with a twinkle in his eyes. I look at him confused but before I can ask him what he is talking about Rose slaps him on the back of his head.

"Don't listen to this big oaf." She says rolling her eyes. "We are all about to head back are you ready?" She asks me raising her eyebrows. I am confused for a moment but then I realize she is talking about Nick.

"Let me say goodbye to Nick really fast then we can head out," I say. And I am not going to lie I was hoping Edward overheard and was pissed. And when I look over I see that I have accomplished what I wanted. He looked as pissed off and hurt as I was. I never wanted to play these games with him, but I wasn't going to sit by and let him say such hurtful things to me, and play me the way that he was. I smile and walk over to Nick quickly telling him that I had to leave. He asks me for my number and I oblige, happy to meet someone that I could potentially enjoy spending time with. And maybe even start dating, since he will be staring at UDUB next fall like me. He kisses me on the cheek and I feel Edward's heated glare on me the whole time I am talking to Nick. When I walk back to the group Alice pulls me by the arm.

"You knowww the guys are all coming back to Rose's place right?" She says in my ear obviously slurring her words. I roll my eyes annoyed that I would have to continue to deal with Edward. But I was determined to ignore him, and not let his moodiness interfere with my birthday. Besides there were still plenty of guys that I could flirt with and hangout with.

"Al its fine." I say rolling my eyes and pulling her back to the group. We head back to Rose's house all of us drunk and wanting to continue the party. When we get to Rose's place everyone breaks into groups, most of them trying to hook up after drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Rose and I are making drinks happy to watch everyone try to hook up with each other. Emmet had to go home so that he could work early the next morning so we were both alone. Rose bumps my hip playfully and says, "Stop ignoring everyone and get back out there. There are tons of guys that are eyeing you right now wanting to talk to you." I roll my eyes looking out at the crowd. I see James eyeing me out of the corner of his eye while he is playing beer pong with Alec. Although I have no interest in him romantically he has become a good friend to me, once I was able to get past his cocky exterior. _If only Edward could stop acting like a cocky asshole we could maybe manage to be friends too, I think to myself rolling my eyes._ I head over to James, and when he sees me he wraps his arm around my shoulder. "There's my girl", he says laying a kiss on my forehead. I push him away a little and roll my eyes at him. He still tries to push the boundaries of our friendship even though I told him I wasn't interested. Edward must have heard his comment because surprise surprise, his head lifts up and glares at James. I turn my head ignoring him. He needed to get over whatever was bothering him because I wasn't going to deal with it anymore. After James and Alec finish their game, James asks me to be his partner. Edward says he wants to play and teams up with Collin, an annoying kid from our work who always likes to get in the middle of everyone else's business. As we start the game he decides to speak up and I know this isn't going to end well.

"So Bella, what happened between you and Brady?" He asks smirking knowing exactly what he was doing. Edward was about to throw the ball but was caught off guard by the question and he throws it, completely missing, and allowing the ball to ricochet off of the wall.

I glare at Collin, "Not that it is any of your fucking business, but we went out on a couple of dates and we both decided that we were better off as friends," I say. Feeling uncomfortable my eyes meet Edward and I'm faced with a look of sympathy and maybe jealousy? That can't be it right?

"More like you decided," I hear Collin mutter under his breath.

"Excuse me?" I say getting angry.

"The way I heard it Brady was completely into you and you blind sighted him by telling him you just wanted to be friends. "Tell me Bella," he says tilting his head sarcastically, "do you make a habit of stringing guys along." He says now full on smirking at me.

I glare at Collin fully ready to kick his ass, when Edward chimes in. "That's just the way she is Collin; Edward says smiling at me. "She makes guys think that they have a shot, before she decides to move on to the next one." I look over at him, and while I shouldn't be surprised that he would be so cruel like that, I am. I really thought we could be friends. But from the way he was acting I knew that would never happen.

"I mean look at my poor friend James," he says sarcastically patting him on the back and putting his arm around his shoulder. "This guy has had a crush on her since the day he met her, but of course she wouldn't even give him the time of day. Telling him she just wants to be friends. But yet she still lets him wrap his arms around her and kiss her." He says now full on smirking. James angrily pushes Edward's arm off of his shoulder and moves into the kitchen. I walk over to Edward and slap him. And the smirk he has quickly leaves his face.

"You are a fucking asshole"; I say almost in tears. Then I turn away and walk towards Rose's bedroom. I walk into her room and shut the door. Pacing around the room so fucking angry and wanting to cry. How could I have ever thought that I could have feelings for such an asshole? I think to myself. I must be so stupid and naive to think that I could be different and that he could have real feelings for me. Because he obviously doesn't care about anyone's feelings but his own. I continue my pacing when I hear a door open and thinking its Alice I turn around and see…Edward. I sigh.

"Edward I don't want to hear it. You fucking made your point when you called me a whore and humiliated me in front of everyone. And do you realize how much of a fucking hypocrite you are?" I ask now full on yelling at him. "You say that I am a tease, and I string guys along? What about you? You let girls think that they have a shot with you, only to sleep with them and then never call them again." He looks down at the ground, and I know that I have pegged him. "Tell me I'm wrong Edward."

He looks up at me, sad, desperate, and maybe pleading? "I'm sorry Bella ok? I'm sorry for what I said." He says raising his voice back at me sounding just as frustrated as I was. It sounds like he is being sincere, but I'm not sure because I know how much of master manipulator he is. "You just don't get it. You don't get how fucking hard its has been for me. Seeing you with other guys. And then you tell me you wont date me because we are coworkers, and then you go off and date Brady? What the fuck was that?" He spits out at me. "After that what you said kind of goes to shit don't you think?" He says. "I mean really how do you think that fucking makes me feel?" He says frustratingly running his hand through his hair. After a few seconds I answer him.

"He wasn't you," I yell at him finally deciding to be honest. "I thought I could date him because he was easy and fun, and there weren't real feelings there. But I told him that we could only be friends because he wasn't you." I say looking away from him not wanting him to see me vulnerable. But I can't fucking do this anymore Edward." I say frustrated and at the end of my rope. I turn away from him and head for the door, not wanting him to see how I feel. Once I reach the door I turn back around once more ready to tell him off and then get the hell out of there. "I am not going to allow you to fucking play games with me anymore. And I am not going to allow you to fuck with me and make me into one of your whores," I spit out. Then I turn around and put my hand on the door knob. Before I get the chance to open the door though he spins me around facing him. I look up and he looks pissed. Even more angry than I have ever seen him. Before I have the chance to say anything he pushes me up against the door, lifts my chin and kisses me forcefully. Full of lust and determination. I gasp but get over the shock quickly kissing him back just as forcefully. As we kiss I feel that ever present heat and electricity pass between us. Although I know that this is only a temporary thing I know that I want to make it last for as long as I can. We break apart and he leans his head against my forehead.

"Don't ever call yourself a fucking whore again," he says grinding into me. "I want you," he says in my ear. "But tell me to stop and I will." And I am torn. Because I want him so bad that my body aches for him, but at the same time, I cannot forget that he hurt me. But right then I decide for now that I am going to let myself feel and fuck the consequences.

"I want you too Edward. I am tired of trying to fight it."

At this declaration he moves forward pushing me back against the door with his hips and kisses me hard, my head banging against the door. He then lifts my arms up above my head holding them with one hand and the other hand goes to my hip as he pins me to the wall with his hips.

"And I want you Bella, he exhales in my ear as if it took a great strength to admit it. "I have wanted you since the moment I met you in that coffee shop." He looks into my eyes, searching for what I am not sure. But instead of answering him I kiss him forcefully just as determined as he was. As we kiss our tongues fight for dominance both of us wanting to be in control. We break apart and he kisses down my neck to my collar bone. His other hand that isn't holding my arms travel down my dress, finally stopping along the hem line.

After rubbing his thumb along the edge he finally stops teasing me and he lets me go, lifting my dress over my head. His mouth then reattaches itself to my neck licking and sucking. He reaches his arms behind me and unclasps my bra releasing me. Quickly his kisses move from my neck to my chest and he takes my sensitive nipple in his mouth working it expertly. I arch back and moan and he whispers, "God you taste good." I respond by allowing him to bury his face in deeper wrapping my fingers in his hair.

His hand then travels down my stomach reaching my underwear. He rubs his fingers on the outside of my underwear a few time until he feels that I am wet. Then he dips his hand inside plunging his fingers in and out of me a few times and I gasp. After a minute his fingers release me and I hiss at the loss of contact. He then releases my nipples bending down with his hand at my waist and he kisses me down my stomach to my underwear. He kisses my sensitive spot and I moan. He looks up and smirks knowing exactly what he is doing. He then pulls my underwear down my thighs and takes them off. He kisses back up my body until he reaches my mouth. This gives me the opportunity to lift his shirt up over his head. I then start kissing down his jaw to his toned chest. My teeth graze his nipple and he lets out I grown. I repeat my movements, sucking and kissing his throat, while unbuttoning his pants, and sliding them down along with his underwear. I stop kissing him for a second and look down. He is hard…and huge. And when I look up at him he smirks.

"See something you like?" He asks me cocky and so sure of himself. I roll my eyes at him pushing him back up against the other wall wanting to take some control over the situation. He then, probably sensing I was ready to pull away, pulls my waist into him and grinds against me causing me to moan. Not wanting to let him take the control again I put my hand on his toned stomach and push him back a little create space between us. He looks down at me questioningly. I smirk back and wrap my fingers around his cock pumping him, then I put my thumb on his tip gathering the pre cum and spreading it along his length. When I look up his eyes have rolled in the back of his head and he leans his head back against the wall his hands gripping my waist. When I hear him starting to swear and moan I speed up my hands knowing he is seconds away from coming. But instead he lifts his head back up and releases my hands from his cock. He then puts his hands on my waist again and turns me back around so I am leaning back up against the wall. He puts my arms above me again. Then his lips reattach to mine. I should have known he would continue fighting me for control. But this felt too good to stop.

He then bends down to his pants pocket grabbing a condom. He tears it open with his teeth, still holding on to my arms, and slides it on his length. He kisses me again down my neck biting me hard. And I gasp. He continues kissing my neck while he slides his fingers down my body down to my clit. He rubs my clit expertly knowing exactly what he is doing. I come quickly from his expert fingers, and he smiles as he is kissing my neck. Without any warning he releases me and then lifts me up slamming my back against the wall again. Ignoring the pain, I quickly wrap my legs around his waist. He lines me up with him, and before entering me he whispers, "Are you sure?" He asks me looking uncertain. And just like that a switch was turned. And all the anger I had felt towards him was gone. Gone was the cocky self assured man that I knew. He was replaced by something I have never seen in Edward before. Someone sensitive and unsure of himself. I nod my head. That is apparently all of the reassurance he needs because he thrusts into me roughly. I let out a quick gasp of shock at his quickness and he buries his head in my shoulder and whispers, "Damn, you feel so good," he mutters, "just as good as I thought you would feel." I smile and wrap my fingers in his hair playing with the ends. Allowing him to move inside of me and set the speed. He continues alternating between kissing my neck and nipping at my ear all the while thrusting inside me quickly. Both of us start muttering a string of curses and declarations at the intense feelings that this brings out in both of us. After awhile I hear him curse and grunt and I know his orgasm is coming. It is probably the hottest thing I have ever heard come out of a man before.

"Oh fuck, shit Bella, this has never felt this good," he grunts out. "I'm going to come." I look down at him and watch his face as he comes. His eyes flutter closed and his lips purse and I have never seen anything so beautiful. I follow closely behind him never having had such an intense orgasm before. He is definitely the best I have ever had but I knew I could never tell him that. When we both ride out the last of our orgasms, I sit there for a moment looking into his eyes. Realizing I have been there for too long I release him and slide down his body. I then start looking for my clothes avoiding his eyes. I knew what was about to happen. After all he could barely be with the same girl for more than one night. So before he could come up with an excuse to get out of there, and before I could feel rejected, I decided to get myself out of the situation. I was coming up with an excuse to leave when I am saved by a knock on the door.

"Bells are you in there?" Alice asks me from the other side of the door questioning, probably wondering why I have disappeared for so long.

"Coming," I rush out quickly throwing the last of my clothes on and look back to see how far along Edward is in getting dressed. He looks back at me confused, wondering why I have avoided looking at him since we had sex. I turn back around when I see he is dressed, not wanting to deal with the fall out right now. I smooth down my hair and my clothes opening the door. When I see Alice looking at me and then back at Edward smirking, I know we have been caught. I roll my eyes at her and grab her hand pulling her out the door of Rose's room, and shutting the door before the whole party knew what Edward and I were up to.

 _End Flashback_

A/n: Are you guys still with me? Didn't expect that right? Let me know what you think! And if you would like an EPOV. Thanks again for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8

A/n: Welcome back! Just so you all are not confused; this is a continuation of the chapter before the flashback. Thanks as always to all who have reviewed/favorite/followed my story! I do not own Grey's Anatomy (see if you can find the quotes, grey's fans :)) or Twilight. And all mistakes are my own :)

"I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go. That I just want you to know, I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you." –The Reason, Hoobastank.

Previous present chapter:

 _I look back at him and smile whispering, "Of course." I turn back around and see Alice is in Jaspers arm and Edward…I sigh. Is of course doing the same, dancing with his girlfriend. God. Was it ever going to get easier? Seeing him with his arms around someone else? I look away and am determined to not let it bother me. Jake turns me around and I look at him surprised. He leans down and gives me a long and passionate kiss. I tried to get into it but all I could think about was the fact that Edward was two feet away from us. When Jake and I break apart I feel a heated glare and am not surprised when I look over and realize that it was coming from Edward. We continue looking at each other. Our glares matching one another. Both of us trying to win whatever game it was that we were playing. Finally, his girlfriend notices that his attention is elsewhere, and pulls his chin towards her. She then pulls his chin down kissing him passionately. I look away. I have seen way too many scenarios where this has happened before and didn't really want another reminder. But of course I can't stop myself from being pulled back into a memory of a similar night almost 7 years ago…._

Present day

Seattle Washington:

BPOV:

I am pulled from my memories when Jake puts his fingers under my chin, lifting my head gently so that he could get my attention. I smile at him, uneasily, hoping that he didn't catch on to where my mind was. It wasn't fair, what I was doing to him. I pull him to me, as a way of silently apologizing, and lay my head on his shoulder. I feel a familiar heat and look back up, only to see Edward looking at me over Jake's shoulder. Why was he still staring at me? Didn't he realize that he was making this whole situation harder on me? Didn't he realize he was making it impossible for me to move on or to feel normal when he looked at me like that? He knew exactly what to do to drive me crazy and get under my skin. I shake my head. God, why was he doing this to me? Didn't he have a girlfriend that he should be focusing all of his attention on?" I think bitterly. I must look upset because his heated stare turns into a look of worry. I quickly clear my face. _Damn I hate that I am so bad at hiding my feelings, I think to myself._ I smile back at him reassuring him that I am fine. But I can't help but think that we are in the exact place we were seven years ago. Still trying to make each other jealous no matter how hard we tried to deny it. Still trying to act like we didn't care. And still here with the wrong people.

I really don't know how this is going to work. How we are going to be able to be around each other for a whole month without killing each other or…. I shake my head. Because there was no point in going there. I still had feelings for him. _I could admit that to myself. No matter how hard I tried to deny it._ But he was happy with _her._ And he was trying to be a better man for her. So nothing would ever happen between us again.There really wasn't anything to go back to anyways. We were both too broken and too screwed up to ever be able to make something work again.

Edward and I continue staring at each other, but I start to notice something different in the way he is looking at me. Instead of the anger I normally see, when I am with someone else, he has a look in his eyes. Almost like longing? How is that possible? He is here with his perfect model girlfriend. What does he want from me? This whole night was becoming too much. And I couldn't stand him looking at me that way any more. Almost like he expected something from me. What did he expect to happen? I didn't know what he wanted back then. And I certainly don't know what he wants now. To be friends? Or maybe even try to be civil towards one another? This was so frustrating. Even when we were together he was always a closed book. Never telling me anything important. Never opening up to me in the way that I needed him to. Or becoming the man I needed him to be. And never telling me his real feelings. Until that night. I sigh. I needed to get out of here. This was becoming too much. I quickly mutter out an excuse to Jake and head for the exit. In need of some fresh air.

 _EPOV:_

I see her turn away from Jake and walk out the door, and I sigh. Why is it that whenever I see this girl I get twisted up in knots? This girl effects me like no one else ever could. I know she thought that I had the control when we were together but it was always her. I was hers from the very beginning and she never knew it. I tried like hell to fight it. Because I wasn't the relationship kind of guy. I knew that, and she knew that. But I loved her too much, and needed her too much, to ever let her go before she got hurt. I will never regret being with her because it was the best time of my life. But I do regret not telling her how I felt until it was too late. And I do regret hurting her. I hate that I caused her all of that pain because she didn't deserve it. And I knew that I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I was selfish back then. I wanted to be with her just as much as I was scared to be with her. Because I didn't exactly have the best role models for love. I saw what happened when you settled down. You became unhappy and stuck. I saw that with my parents and I didn't want it to happen to me…to us. My dad worked all of the time, and messed around. And my mom turned a blind eye to it. She was more than happy to live in her high society life, and pretend it didn't happen. But it was about more than just my parents. I was too afraid to feel. Too afraid to drop the playboy act, and let someone see the real me. But she is the only one who ever got close enough to seeing the real me. She was the only one to like me for me, despite my flaws. Not for my charm, or my money or my good looks. I know I screwed up a lot in my relationship with Bella. Not telling her about everything that happened with Irina after my mom got sick, being the biggest mistake. But I was never going to stop wanting her.

I shake myself from my thoughts because I knew that thinking about this now wouldn't help anything. I look over and see Alice glaring at me. Probably knowing I screwed up…again. I shake my head and mutter an excuse to my girlfriend about needed a drink. But I head for the exit doors instead. I can feel Alice's eyes on my back. Almost like she was warning me that she would kick my ass if I screwed this up. Or hurt her any more. _Trust me Alice I am trying to be better._ And I was. I was trying to be a better man…not for my girlfriend but for her. I know I should feel guilty about this. Abandoning my girlfriend in a crowded bar with people she barely knew, and going after my ex instead. But I didn't care. Because it always has been and would always be her. Whether she decided to leave her boyfriend for me or not.

I walk outside and see her against the wall her head leaning back. I take a moment to look at her because… damn she was beautiful. And my mind starts to drift back to everything that happened tonight. I had been preparing myself for tonight since the moment I realized I was able to come back for the wedding. The moment I would be seeing her again. I had a plan. I thought that I could make her realize that I had changed. But the moment I saw her tonight my plan flew out the window. And all of the words I was going to say to her escaped me. Because she was beautiful. Just as beautiful as I had remembered. And all of the memories of the bad things I did to her and the way I treated her back then came flooding back. And I started feeling guilty. I started thinking that if I didn't deserve her back then what made me think I deserved her now? So I knew that I had to push her away. Because I knew that if we were to let ourselves, we would fall back into the same pattern that we did before. The connection was too hard to let go of. And I thought the best way to push her away again was to reverted back into the asshole I was back then. And if I was being honest it was a way for me to ease my guilt too. So that I wouldn't have to keep being reminded of our past.

I could see us easily falling back into our old patterns. Our old games. And I knew that she deserved better. So I acted like I always had. Teasing her about her age, and about how clumsy she was. I chuckle, because although she may be harder, colder, and more grown up then she was five years ago _,_ she still had her moments where she was still the same old Bella. And I missed that. I miss the young, naïve, and carefree Bella that she used to be. With no worries, and no idea about how cruel the world could really be. But I know it is probably mostly my fault that she is the way she is now. She was right. I did make sure that she was no longer the young naïve girl she was back then. I did help her to lose trust in the people that she thought cared about her.

But tonight, when she walked away from me, upset and trying to hide the fact that she was crying, I knew I had screwed up. I run my hand through my hair frustrated. Why could I never do anything right by this girl? I thought I was doing the right thing, pushing her away, but I had only made things worse. After our confrontation I realized how much of an asshole I was. So I started walking back to our table hoping to apologize, and hoping that someone would know where she was. But then I see her by the door, her arms wrapped around a tall, muscled asshole and the thought of apologizing to her goes right out the window. And the thought made me feel sick to my stomach. I was disgusted, watching her smiling at that asshole. Because seeing her like that, brought me back to our "so called relationship". It reminded me that while I might have been an asshole to her, she was no angel either. She knew exactly how to retaliate. She knew exactly how to hurt me every time I hurt her. By making me jealous with assholes like this. It was always a contest between us. To see who could pretend like they cared less about the other person and what they were doing. Like the thought of us with other people didn't kill either of us. Well it killed me at least. And always made me angrier. She was just as good at playing the games as I was.

And this is when I realized that we had already been so broken before the whole Irina situation happened.

I kept watching them together though, not being able to look away. It was like watching a train wreck. And the moment I saw them kiss it literally killed me. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Like all of the wind had been knocked out of me. That's when I finally realized that she wasn't here for me and she really had moved on. And this month was going to be harder then I thought. I started realizing how painful it must have been for her when I used to parade other women in front of her, and I started to feel guilty again.

I could admit that I was jealous. Jealous that this young asshole could make her happier then I ever could. So I lost my cool. I glared at them with my fist clenched. Getting ready to go over there and fight him. Screw the consequences. Because I was done caring. At that moment I didn't care who found out about us. I would have loved to throw it in that asshole's face that I was the first person she told that she loved. And I was the first guy she ever introduced to her family. I couldn't help it. It wasn't easy seeing her with someone else. And I didn't think it would ever get any easier. I started wondering if I would ever stop feeling this way about her. And that killed me. Because although I knew it was my fault that we ended, I had always held on hope that eventually we would find our way back to each other.

She must have sensed that I was glaring at her, and her boyfriend because she looked over at me. We had always had this unexplainable connection where we could sense the other person was there. I had hoped that when she saw me that she would be willing to talk. That she would be willing to change her mind about us. But instead she rolls her eyes at me and looks away. And I was pissed. And I was ready to hurt her just as much as she hurt me. It wasn't rational, or mature for that matter, but I was tired of feeling the way that I was. So lost and out of control. So I thought I could take control of the situation by reminding her of how great we had been before. And maybe make her feel just as jealous as she made me.

I sigh, shaking my head breaking myself from my memories. Would I ever stop feeling this way about her? Like no one else in the world would ever compare to her? It wasn't fair. Even after not seeing her for five years, she still has me… fully and completely. And I turned into this jealous asshole every time I see her. I have never been the jealous kind of guy. I have never cared about a girl enough to be jealous. But it was different with her. And this time I was not going to run away from my feelings. I wasn't going to fight it. I had spent way too much time running away from my feelings in the past and it got me nowhere.

I am pulled back into the present when she turns her head and looks at me for a full minute before shaking her head and getting up.

"No Edward, we aren't doing this, I'm not talking to you." Then she starts running away from me.

"Damn it Bella, wait!" I shout trying to get her to stop and listen to me.

"Leave me alone," she shouts, and continues running. I follow her all the way down the street, and down an alleyway. Finally catching up to her I put my hand on her elbow stopping her. She yanks her elbow out of my grip and turns around looking pissed. Her eyes are dark, her chest heaves up and down and she looks like she is ready for a fight.

"What do you want Edward? Haven't you done enough for one night?" She spits out.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright." I say. "You ran out of the club pretty quickly. And I didn't want you running around the streets of Seattle alone." She glares at me, looking even more pissed off then she was before.

"I am not a fucking child, Edward." She spits out. "You don't need to take care of me. This was our problem throughout the entire time we were fucking. You thinking I am too young and naive to take care of myself. It may have been true back then but it certainly isn't now. I am an adult, and have been taking care of myself since I was sixteen years old. And even if I did need someone to take care of me, I have my boyfriend to do that. So I don't need any help from you. And don't you have a girlfriend? Shouldn't you be taking care of her right now?"

I glare back at her, but I don't do anything, trying not to start another fight. Because we know how that would end right? But I was pissed. Pissed that she was purposely trying to hurt me by throwing her boyfriend in my face. I knew it was a defense mechanism. To prove that she didn't need me and to push me away. But she wasn't going to push me away. Because I was always going to worry about her, and care about her. It doesn't matter if she needs me. Or if she is with someone else.

"Whatever, Bella, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. It doesn't matter if we aren't together, I am still always going to care about you." I say care instead of love, because I know how much saying those words is going to cost me. And how much it would kill me when she didn't say the words back. She studies me for a second probably questioning how sincere my words were. But her eyes turn hard and cold again.

"No I am not alright, ok? Are you satisfied now? I am not alright. Because you have a girlfriend. And one minute you are trying to joke around with me like we are old friends. And the next minute you are trying to act like my boyfriend by saving me from overly flirtatious bartenders. And glaring at my boyfriend. Even though you have no right. No right to act like the boyfriend you never were back then. I just don't get you." She says frustrated, running her hands through her hair. "And you are looking at me. Stop looking at me."

I look back at her angrily. Ready to start the fight with her that she has been wanting. "I am not looking at you, Bella."

She glares back at me. "You are looking at me, and you watch me. I am trying to move on Edward. I met a great guy. And he is perfect for me." I scoff at this and she glares at me, but continues. "And he loves me and protects me. And is someone who would never hurt me. He's made plans, Edward. Plans for our future. Something you could never do. So why are you making this so difficult? Why do you keep trying to torture both of us?"

I look away from her, and start pacing. Not wanting to answer. Because the truth was, she was still with someone else. She deserved to be happy. And I'm not going to lie. A little part of me was scared that if I opened up to her and told her how I feel, she would walk away from me again. She lets out a growl of frustration. And laughs bitterly.

"Still the same person you were back then aren't you?" She asks rhetorically shaking her head. I look up at her questioning what she meant but she continues on. "I am not doing this with you anymore Edward. Just stop. Stop with the games. And stop glaring at my boyfriend, because he is going to start thinking something is going on." My head snap up quickly at her comment, the shock probably evident on my face.

"He doesn't know?" I ask her.

"No, why should he," she snaps back defensively. "What happened between us was a long time ago. And it doesn't matter anymore. So what would the point be in worrying him needlessly, and pissing him off?"

I sneer at her probably enjoying a little bit too much, that her boyfriend would worry about me being around.

"Your boyfriend a little jealous, and insecure about your relationship, little girl?" I ask her continuing to sneer. "He sounds like an asshole." She glares at me for a second and then punches me in the arm.

"YOU are such an asshole, Edward. And a complete hypocrite. You don't know Jake. So you have no right to call him an asshole. He is a good guy, and treats me well. I deserve that kind of happiness Edward. So stop trying to ruin it for me." She says frustrated running her hand through her hair. I look at her for a second questioningly.

"Why am I a hypocrite Bella?" I ask her.

She scoffs, and rolls her eyes at me. "Come on, Edward really? You don't think you have ever been jealous in a relationship before? And what about tonight, when I was talking to the bartender? You can't tell me that you weren't pissed off by that."

"There is a difference between being jealous, and being worried that a big muscled guy, who looks like a total douche by the way Bells, is an asshole and is going to take advantage of you." I say pissed off that she could always read me so well. And called me out on my jealousy.

She rolls her eyes at me and growls. Then she takes a step forward pushing me back. "Really Edward? We are going to go there again? When are you going to get it through your head that I am not the naïve girl you met 7 years ago? I can deal with overly flirtatious bartenders. I don't need your help. And isn't that exactly what you did to me 7 years ago? Took advantage of my vulnerability, and made it seem like we were something that we clearly were not?"

I looked at her confused. What the hell was she talking about?

She sighs and looks at me for a moment. "You certainly did a fine job of blurring the lines of what ever the hell we were, Edward. And you played games. But I am not playing these games with you anymore, Edward. I am going to go back inside to my boyfriend, and I suggest you do the same." She starts to walk away from me again, but just like before I wasn't going to let her throw out a confusing comment like that and just walk away, without giving me any answers. "Bella wait." I call out to her frustrated that all she seems to do is walk away from me every time we have this conversation.

"No," she responds and keeps walking.

"Bella, please." I run after her not ready to let her get away again.

"What?" She says spinning around and obviously pissed off that I won't let this go. Both of us glare at each other for a second, and I feel that crackle of electricity and sexual tension that always seems to be present whenever we are around each other. We keep staring at each other, both of us too stubborn to make the first move. But I give in, tired of trying to fight this attraction. I walk towards her, cupping my hands behind her neck pulling her towards me into a rough kiss. She kisses me back just as fiercely, obviously still feeling the same pull towards me that I feel towards her.

I move my hands down to grab her waist and start walking her backwards, up against the concrete wall of the alleyway. She puts her fingers to my neck, and then slowly moves them into my hair, running her hands through it. God kissing her? It was even better then I remembered. That heat that I felt just by touching her multiplied, and I realized that no matter how long its been, that attraction, and that heat would always be there. After a minute we break apart, and I put my forehead against hers, closing my eyes. I let out a breath and then I speak, afraid to ruin the moment, but wanting her to be clear of what my feelings were for her back then.

"What do you mean, I made it seem like we were something we clearly weren't?" I ask her leaning forward, and whispering in her ear. "Bella, I meant what I said back then. I have wanted you from the moment that you walked into that Starbucks 7 years ago." I let out a breath, nervous about my admission, but still wanting to give her something even though I couldn't give her everything…yet. "And I still want you." I say closing my eyes. I hear her let out a ragged breath in response. I lean my head back and look her in the eyes. "And I am tired of trying to fight it." I smile, throwing out the same words she said to me the first time we slept together.

"I hate," she starts letting out another breath and looking at me worriedly, biting her lip. She was obviously struggling to admit this, "that I still want you too." She says closing her eyes. I smile down at her. This isn't exactly the declaration that I wanted but it was a start. I lean forward and kiss her again, wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her towards me. She lets out a gasp, obviously feeling me hard against her. At first she doesn't kiss me back, trying to maintain some kind of control and willpower, and obviously feeling unsure, now that we made these declarations. But I wasn't about to let her question things now. I open up my mouth deepening the kiss, and whatever self control she was trying to maintain went out the window. And she starts kissing me back.

BPOV:

After a moment I freeze again. Because I realize how easily I could fall back into this pattern with him again. This pattern of being a secret. And feeling like I have no control. Allowing him to call all of the shots. I wasn't going to let him turn me back into the weak girl I was before. So I stop him. Even though all I want to do is kiss him and tell him I still loved him. I push him back slightly shaking my head. Both of us are breathing heavily. Obviously that connection, or whatever it was, was still just as prominent as it was five years ago. He looks at me confused for a moment wondering why I stopped.

"I can't do this, Edward. This isn't fair to Jake." I say shaking my head. "I am not this kind of girl anymore. I have to go." Before he can respond I turn around and run away, not willing to let him catch up with me again. As I am running I try to stop the tears from running down my face. How could I do this? How could I turn back into this girl? What is it about this man that allows me to turn back into the girl I was 7 years ago?

When I get to the doors of the club I realize that I can't go back in looking like this. So I shoot a quick text to Alice. Letting her know that I wasn't feeling well and I was going to head home. And to tell Jake I was fine. I couldn't forget about him. Even though I had the whole time I was with Edward. Then I start heading towards the front of the bar to call a cab. When I hear a beep I look down at my phone. Alice.

 _Are you ok, Bel? Why don't you stay at my house tonight? We can have a sleepover like we used to and Edward can sleep on the couch tonight._

The mention of Edward only makes me feel worse. And I shake my head. Because the last thing I want is to be under the same roof as Edward right now.

 _I'm fine Al, really. I just need sleep. Love you._

As I get into the cab I get a phone call from Jake. I thought about not answering but figuring he would worry more I decide to just get it over with.

"Are you ok, Bells?" Jake asks me as soon as I pick up the phone.

"I'm fine Jake, really. I just started getting a really bad headache, and I didn't want to go back into the club to tell you I was leaving because I knew it would only get worse. I was going to call you as soon as I got into the cab," I lied. The truth was I wasn't even close to being ready to talk to or see Jake again after what just happened. I knew it would just make me more confused.

"Do you want me to come over, Bells? I can take care of you," he says a hint of seduction in his voice.

I sigh and roll my eyes. Because really? I tell him I have a headache and all he wants to do is have sex?

"Come on babe, I can make you feel better."

I want to be pissed and go off on him but I know I have no right considering what just happened with Edward. "As much as I want to, my dad is home Jake. And it's late. I'll come by and see you tomorrow I promise."

"Fiine," he drawls out, and I roll my eyes. God sometimes I forgot how young he was, and how much of a baby he could be. He was the first younger guy I had ever dated.

"I love you, babe, goodnight." He finally says realizing he wasn't going to win.

And the tears start to come back, "I love you too Jake." And I really did. Despite everything.

The next morning, I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I groan. I have a pounding headache that feels like tiny jackhammers are banging against my head. I look at the time. _8 am._ I am going to kill Alice. I know it's her because she was the only one who would be insane enough to call me this early on a Sunday. She wanted me to come over today and help her find flower arrangements for the wedding. I consider ignoring her phone call but knew that she would just come over. So I pick up my phone, and answer.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, sleepyhead" she chirps. I groan. Damn I hated that even in college hangovers never seem to effect her.

"Al its 8 in the morning what the hell do you want?"

"Come over, Bells! We have to work on my flower arrangements. I'll have coffee and breakfast waiting for you, I promise."

I sigh, knowing that I might as well get up now. "I hate you, Alice." I hear her chuckle, but before she can answer I hang up on her. Then I turn on my stomach and groan into my pillow when I realize that I am going to have to see Edward again after what happened last night. I get up and take a shower realizing I probably smell like shit, and the last thing I want is for Edward to see me like this. Whether I wanted to play games or not, I knew he still was. And I wasn't about to let him have the upper hand.

After getting ready I head over to Alice's. When I get there I look up at the house taking a deep breath, closing my eyes. I could do this, I think to myself, not feeling nearly as confident as I was trying to be. It was going to be difficult. I knew that. But I was hoping that we could both pretend like it didn't happen and be friends. So after a quick pep talk, I walk up to the front porch. But before I can even knock on the door, it swings open.

"Morning, love!" Alice chirps, pulling me inside. I look at her questioningly.

She rolls her eyes at me, and whispers, "I saw you sitting out in the car." She says raising her eyebrows at me. Knowing exactly what had me so hesitant to come in. Deciding I didn't want to talk about Edward, I walk over to the table where binders are sitting open. Alice knows I suck at this wedding stuff, but she still wanted my opinion. After all it was "my maid of honor duty," she had said to me a few weeks ago when I had attempted to protest. I roll my eyes. She was really good at convincing me to do things. And that probably was what made her such a good lawyer.

"Alright where do we start?" I say ready to get this over with. She brings in my coffee and then we get started.

After a few hours of work, we decide to take a break. Alice gets up and grabs a bottle of wine, turning around.

"Wine, Bells?" She asks me.

My headache is gone now so I shrug and agree. Its 5 o clock somewhere right? And I am on vacation. As she is pouring me a glass, I hear the front door opening. I turn, and as soon as I see him I wish I hadn't turned around. Because there he was, shirtless, and sweating. Obviously just getting back from a run. My mouth drops open because damn he looks good. Time had obviously been really good to him. Although he had always been toned, he was now sporting an 8 pack.

Obviously he still spends all of his time at the gym like he used to, I think rolling my eyes. Damn why did he have to do this to me? He looks up, and sees me staring at him. He smirks, knowing exactly what he was doing. As I look away from him, he walks into the kitchen and goes to the refrigerator grabbing a water. He leans back drinking the water, and the muscles in his back flex. Damn it. Alice sees me staring and slaps me on the arm pulling me back into reality. I look over at her, and give her a look of appreciation. God damn why can he still effect me this much?

"Morning ladies," he says to both of us, but is looking directly at me. I don't make eye contact with him though because I know that if I do I'll end up saying or doing something I will probably regret. _Like fucking him up against Alice's counter top._ I shake my head, because this is probably the worse time to be having these thoughts. I hear a clearing of the throat and look over to see Alice having a silent conversation with him. I obviously had missed out on something in my daze, and I was curious to know if Alice had talked to Edward about me before I came back. Before I can try to break the awkward tension in the room, Jasper comes into the kitchen. Alice breaks her tense stare from Edward and walks over to him giving him a kiss.

"Morning honey," Jasper says kissing her back. While they get lost in their own little world, I look down at my phone still trying to avoid eye contact. Not wanting to have a conversation with Edward shirtless. Because I knew exactly where that would end.

After a few awkward minutes, Alice finally breaks from her Jasper bubble. Realizing how awkward it was for both of us, Alice turns to Edward, "Edward go shower, and put on a fucking shirt."

I look over at her appreciatively. Edward must have caught my look because he smirks at me, knowing how effected I was. Without another word he turns around and heads up the stairs. My eyes follow him all of the way up the steps. I am brought out of my daze though when I see a hand waving in my face. I look over and see Alice, who has a tiny smirk on her face. I raise my eyebrows at her. Because I didn't get it. I thought she was anti-Edward? She raises her eyebrow at me questioningly asking, what the fuck was that?

"Sorry Al I'm just tired because _somebody_ woke me up at 8am." I say giving her the stink eye.

Knowing that I didn't want to talk about it, and that Jasper was still in the room, she decided to play along. "Whatever Bells you'll get over it." She says rolling her eyes at me, and smiling. "But anyways I have to run out briefly and pick up a few things. We will leave for our appointment in a half an hour."

I sigh worried about being left alone in the house with Edward here. "Why don't I go with you? I can help with whatever you need."

She shakes her head, and discreetly points at Jasper. Knowing what has me so hesitant, and letting me know that he will be there the whole time. "No its ok, I'll be back soon." Before I can say anything else she turns around, pecks Jasper on the cheek, and walks out the door.

After telling me he has work to do, but wants to catch up later, Jasper walks out of the kitchen to head to his office. The house is now quiet, and after a few minutes I decide to make myself lunch before our appointment. Like I have done many times before, I walk over to the fridge and start taking out the ingredients to make a sandwich.

When Edward comes back downstairs from his shower he comes in and sees me standing there alone. He raises his eyebrow at me. "Where is Alice?" He asks.

I look up at him, "She had to run out for a little bit, she will be back shortly." He studies my face for a moment, looking for what I don't know, and then walks towards me gesturing towards the ingredients.

"Can I have one?" He asks. I shrug my shoulder and say, "Help yourself." We are silent for a moment, and the air in the room is thick with obvious tension and expectations. Expectations of things that were left unsaid last night.

"Look Bella, about last night- "

I shake my head and look up at him holding out my hand. "Edward I don't want to talk about last night ok? It is over and done with. Let's please just forget that it ever happened." He looks at me for a second. Almost like he was disappointed. But what did he expect? That last night would change things? "Can we please just be friends?" I ask him pleadingly. "I mean we are going to have to be around each other for the next month. The least we can do is try to get along."

He opens his mouth for a second like he wants to protest. But instead he lets out a breath, and runs his hand through his hair. "Yea. Friends it is."

I smile at him happy he wasn't going to try to argue with me again. But deep down my heart clenches a little at how easily he agreed. I guess he really is over me. But this is what I wanted right? For it to be easier to be around one another? I should be happy about this. Happy we finally agreed on something, and could stop fighting.

We finish our food in silence, neither of us knowing how to approach going back to being friends. I decide that if we are going to be friends I should at least be nice and ask him about his girlfriend.

"So your girlfriend seemed nice," I say conversationally trying to break the silence. He looks up at me surprised, nodding his head.

"Yeah… she is." He agrees hesitantly. He clears his throat obviously not comfortable with this topic of conversation.

"Jake- seems like an asshole." He says chuckling humorlessly. I look up at him, and glare. After I was trying to be nice, and after our conversation last night, he really was going to go there? Right then I realize that we could never go back to being friends.

"Really, Edward? I thought you got all of your insults out of your system last night." I say pissed off and shaking with anger.

He smirks at me probably enjoying the fact that he knows how to get under my skin. "Come on Bells, you have to admit that the guy looks and acts like a complete tool. And didn't you see how possessive he was of you last night? Putting his hands all over you? But I guess that makes sense. You have always been into the douchebags."

I shake my head at him and run my hand through my hair, "Unbelievable," I mutter under my breath. "I really thought you could stop acting like an asshole long enough for us to be friends but I guess not. I really was trying to be civil for Jasper, and Alice's sake. But apparently you can't stop acting like an immature asshole for two seconds for the sake of your best friend." I really was still stupid and naïve. No matter how mature I thought I was I still had too much faith in people. And too much faith that Edward could be a good guy. Even after everything he has done.

"And don't you think it's a little ridiculous that your calling my boyfriend a tool when you spent all of your time in the gym when we were in college, acted like a complete douche and…" I stop for a moment not sure if I want to bring up the past again. "After everything that happened with us," I whisper. He looks up at me shocked that I would bring this up. My words hang there for a moment. I knew I shouldn't have brought up the past. Because the last thing I wanted was for him to know that I am still affected by it. A silence descends on the room again and the air is thick with tension. He stares at me for a moment, and I am afraid of what he is going to do next. But after a second his face clears and he smirks at me. "Believe it or not, unlike that boyfriend of yours, I have grown up and matured since college. He is what 21 or 22? He is still a child. Obviously he isn't able to give you want you want. And you need a real man. I am assuming that's why last night happened." He says smirking at me. And now I am pissed. Because he is throwing last night in my face even though he is the one who initiated all of it. Here he was doing it again. Playing these stupid games. And I wasn't having any of it. I walk up to him and put my hand on his chest pushing him back.

"You listen to me, Edward Cullen." Last night…" I let out a breath. "Was stupid, and a complete lapse in judgement on my part." I see his face fall for a second, but he quickly schools his features. Putting up the mask that I knew all too well. And this is one of the many reasons why we would never work. Because he could never let me know how he feels. Or show real emotions. "I had hoped that you could change, and that we could be friends. But that obviously will never happen. Last night proved it. Because that is your usual M.O. isn't it Edward?" I spit out fed up with his games. "That is exactly what you always do. Fuck all of these beautiful women and then expect me to always be there waiting. Waiting for any sort of attention that you are willing to give me. Because you count on that undeniable pull. You know that undeniable pull has always been too hard to walk away from. For both of us", I say raising my eyebrows daring him to contradict me.

When he doesn't I continue on. "But I am not that weak girl anymore Edward. And I won't let you treat me that way again." I want to cry but I hold it in, because the last thing I want is for him to see me weak. When I look up at him I see a look of remorse. But I knew it was a part of his game. A way to suck me back in. And I wasn't going to let him. So I turn around ready to leave. But I decide I need to get everything out now before I lost my nerve. "And you may be older but Jake is twice the man you will ever be. And he keeps me more then satisfied." I say with a smirk. "He is not an immature asshole who uses women and throws them away. He is good to me, and he treats me well. So stop insulting him. And stop insulting me. Just please stop." I close my eyes not wanting him to see me cry. He has already seen too much already. I turn around and start walking towards the door. Ready to leave. I couldn't be in the same room with him anymore. And I couldn't do this push and pull anymore. I really was stupid. I think as I start heading for the door. I really thought he might have changed. That he might have matured in the five years since I last saw him. And maybe we could be friends. But he hadn't. And I didn't think he ever would. I hear his footsteps and before I can escape he has me by the elbow whirling me around again.

"Bella, wait." He says desperately, his voice sounding pained. We were back in the same position we were in last night. He had me backed up against the wall, his arm on my elbow, and he was towering over me. I felt powerless. But I wasn't going to let myself make the same mistake that I did last night.

"What do you want Edward?" I ask him harshly. Trying to get him to walk away from me. Trying to push him away. He flinches, as if my words have physically hurt him. But he doesn't let me go. He looks at me. His eyes searching. For what I didn't know. Finally, he speaks up, his voice sounding unsure. "Look Bella I'm sorry." He sighs running his hand through his hair. He shakes his head and starts back up again. "I am sorry about last night. I just…" He stops for a second and looks me in the eyes pleadingly. Pleading with me to understand. Like he was trying to tell me something that he couldn't say with words.

"You just what Edward? What do you want from me?" He doesn't say anything so I continue. "Fuck, what do you want?' I ask closing my eyes, my voice breaking. Not sure how much longer I could take this. When I open my eyes again, his eyes continue pleading with me to understand. But my eyes are pleading right back. _Last night can't happen again. So_ _please stop doing this Edward. I know this isn't easy but stop making walking away harder than it has to be. Stop playing these games. Stop hurting both of us, torturing both of us. We can't keep doing this. Not when we are with other people. Please just let me go._ I know that I am the one who is going to have to walk away. But walking away now felt like it would be the end of us. And as much as I knew that I needed it to end, for my own sanity, I wasn't sure if I was ready just yet.

I don't get a choice though because our moment is broken by the sound of a door opening, and Alice shouting, "Bells time to go to our appointment!" I look up at him. I knew it was time to let go. He sighs and he lets go of my elbow, backing away from me. I start walking towards the front door to meet Alice, but have to look back one more time. Edward is looking at me. Watching me walk away. He has a look in his eyes, almost like he knew it was the end too. I turn back around and walk out out the door with Alice.

 **A/n: So do you guys really think this is the end? ;) Also, many of you wondered why Edward acted the way he did that night. What do you think of his reasons? Do you think his actions were justified? Thanks again for reading :) And I will see you in 2 weeks :)**


	9. Chapter 9

A/n: Hey everyone! Again, I am sorry for the delay. But here is an extra long chapter to make up for it :) Thank you so much for your response to the last chapter :) I believe that was the most reviews for a chapter I have received yet! This chapter will be both a mix of the present and the past, so you can get a little more insight. Enjoy! Thank you for all who have reviewed/followed/and favorited my story. As always I do not own and all mistakes are my own :)

"…And they burn from all the tears, I've been crying, I've been crying, I've been dying over you. Tie a knot in the rope trying to hold, trying to hold but there's nothing to grab so I let go." Pink, "Blow Me One Last Kiss."

Seattle, Washington:

Present time

BPOV:

As I walk out the door of Alice's house, I will myself not to cry. Because it was over. And the last thing I wanted was for Alice to see me like this. Broken down over a boy who had hurt me one too many times. Like I had expected any different. Like I expected it to end any different. I know it didn't make sense to anyone else. This pull…this connection that the two of us had. But it was there. And it was real. It was an all consuming love. A great love. One that burned too bright for either of us to ignore. It was complicated, and intense. It felt like there were a thousand tiny strings between us that no matter how hard we tried to fight it, or how hard we tried to pull away we would end up right back where we started... together again. I knew I would never feel this way with another person again. And now that it was over, now that we promised each other that we would let go, all I felt was numb.

I hadn't even allowed myself to consider what this was going to mean. How hard it was going to be to go back to New York again and start all over. I got caught up in the moment last night. And now that it is over…it was going to be even harder to get over him this time. My head told me that this was the right thing to do. It reminded me of how angry I was with him. That he hadn't changed, and that never was going to change. He couldn't be who I needed back then, and he definitely couldn't be who I needed right now. For fuck sakes we couldn't even be friends with each other without fighting. Or without drudging up the mistakes of our past... But my heart. My heart told me that I was never going to feel this way about anyone else again. And that by letting go, I was never going to be truly happy again. It was a war. Between my head and my heart. And while for right now, my head won, I wondered how long it would take for my heart to take over again. I sigh. Damn I must be a masochist or something. Letting my self get hurt by this man over and over again. And the funny thing was that I actually thought that he could be different. That going back to him would end in a different result. But it never did.

I was so confused and heartbroken. And I wondered how opposed Alice would be to going to a bar after our appointment. I am pulled out of my thoughts by Alice tugging on my arm. I turn around and she is looking at me suspiciously, her eyebrow raised.

"Bells, what the hell was that? Did something happen between you and Edward last night? Why were you staring at him today like you wanted to jump him?

"Alice- "

"No, Bella, I saw how broken you were over him before. He nearly destroyed you. So much so that you had to leave the fucking state to get over him. You left me and all of your friends behind because you wanted to forget about him… I just don't get you…Why do you always go back for more, after he hurts you? If you do this to your self again…If you get back together and then it all goes to hell again…which it will by the way, I'm not helping you through it. I'm not going to watch you do this to yourself over and over again. Because you act like your all strong and over it. Like nothing bothers you. But it does bother you. You are my best friend and I hate watching you do this to yourself. Why the hell are you doing this to yourself again? Do you not have any self preservation at all?" She rants without even taking a breath.

I understood what it looked like. It looked like I was weak and that I was giving in to him again. But I hadn't. Not completely anyways. I sigh. I was so tired of this. Why was I a magnet for unobtainable men?

I know that she was just doing this to help me, and to look out for me. But her warning me away from him felt like we were back to being the eighteen years old again. Back when everyone had warned me that getting involved with him would be a mistake. That I should run away as fast as I could. But in my 18-year-old mind I thought that I could make my own decisions. And I hated being told what to do. I thought that I could get involved with someone like Edward and still be able to get out unscathed…Unaffected. I can't believe how naïve I had been.

 **June 2009 (Day after the party)**

I wake up to the sound of blinds being thrown open, and the shouting of "Good morning sleepyhead" being yelled from my former best friend. It was official. I was going to kill her. I throw my arm over my eyes and groan.

"I hate you." I say putting the covers over my face. I was definitely not a morning person. Especially when I was hungover as fuck.

She laughs and then shouts, "Come on get up, she says pulling the covers from my head. "We are going to get breakfast and then you and Rose have to go to work." She says.

I groan and turn around pressing my face into my pillow. Damnit. What the hell did I do last night? This was exactly why I have tried so hard not to hangout with Edward outside of work. Because I knew it would always lead to more. And it would lead to me making stupid mistakes like this. Especially when alcohol was involved. Damn…Why the hell would I have ever thought that it would be a good idea to sleep with Edward? Someone who was notorious for sleeping with random women and then never talking to them again. I had heard all of the rumors. That he had slept with half of the population of Seattle and then some. And probably fucked most of the women at work. Did I really think that I could be someone different? That I could possibly change his ways? If so I was incredibly naïve.

But damn why did he have to be so good at sex? It was hands down one of the most erotic things I have ever done. Having sex against a wall. With our closest friends in the other room. Able to hear us and walk in at any second. While I had sex before, it had never been as good as last night… or as intense.

How did this happen? And why did I give in to him? I was so incredibly mad at him for what he did. He acted like a jealous asshole the whole night. And then he humiliated me in front of all of our friends. Basically calling me a whore and a tease. Despite the fact that he, himself, couldn't stay with the same girl for even a night... And he accused me of stringing him along... Accused me of stringing all of the guys that I dated along. What a fucking hypocrite he was. He strung along every fucking girl that he slept with.

But I know why he acted the way he did. He was jealous. Pissed off that I wouldn't give him the time of day when I was happy to talk to other guys. Pissed off that I wouldn't give him what he wanted, when he was so used to girls giving in to him so easily. And pissed off that I was using the excuse of being coworkers as a reason not to date him. But I had to be focused on my future. And not let a boy, even though he was a gorgeous boy who effected me like no other guy ever did, get in the way of that. Because I know everything wasn't going to be handed to me. And I was going to have to work for what I wanted. So I knew we would have to go back to just being friends. That there was no future with us. And there was no point in even trying. Because neither of us could be what the other needed.

He was right though… I was scared too. And I was using the fact that he was a player and the fact that we were co-workers as an excuse to not date him. Because the truth was I could really see myself fall for him. Fully and completely. More so then any guy I had ever met. Despite who he was and his reputation. Despite his flaws. No matter how naïve this made me. No guy had ever had this deep of an effect on me…. We had this connection that was just too hard to shake. No matter how hard we tried to fight it. But I knew that falling for him could only end in my own heartache.

I know it didn't make any sense. That I was setting myself up for failure. And that he wasn't the settling down type. But neither was I. I learned a long time ago what settling down with someone did to you. It left you weak. Vulnerable. Open to being hurt. Open to failure. And that person you thought loved you, would end up leaving you broken when something better came along. That is what happened to my parents. And it could definitely happen to me. But I could see myself fall for him despite my fear of commitment. And that scared the hell out of me…

 _God damn I revealed way too much last night_ , I think groaning. I told him too much. It was a mistake. Telling him that no other guy would ever compare to him. Letting him know how much I wanted him… And giving in to him way too soon.

And It was stupid of me to think that last night wouldn't change anything. Because it had. It had changed everything. And now that we have had sex, now that we went too far last night, I had no idea how I was going to pull myself back. To become friends again.

I had no idea where we would go from here. Could we go back to being friends again? Could be hangout and have it not be weird? Could we hangout with each other and see other people and pretend like it didn't bother either of us?

I was so confused. But I couldn't exactly talk about it with anyone at work. While there was no actual policy that we couldn't date someone from work, (after all I had gone on a date with Brady and everyone found out about it, even though I thought we were good at hiding it), it was deeply discouraged. Not only that, but I had promised Rosalie on the first day I started working there, that I wouldn't start something with Edward. That I wouldn't go down that road with him. And I owed Rosalie… a lot. She gave me a job that she wouldn't normally give to someone as young as me. And her and I were becoming really good friends. She trusted me. And I felt like I had shit all over that trust last night. I groan, " _Damn I was never drinking that much again"_ ; I think as I run my hand over my face.

Then I stretch for a second finally get out of bed. Knowing that if I didn't Alice would find the most unpleasant way of getting me up. I look around and notice that Rosalie's apartment is empty.

"Where is everyone?" I ask finally turning towards Alice. She looks at me for a second. Probably seeing my struggle…Had she been watching me the whole time I had been in my head? She knew me entirely too well…and she probably knew exactly what my struggle had been…

After a long minute she finally responds, "Everyone took a cab or walked back to their own apartments last night. She pauses for a second looking at me. "Why is there someone in particular you are looking for, Bells?" She asks me a smirk forming on her face. And I knew then that she knew exactly what I had been thinking about.

I roll my eyes at her, "Shhh," I say looking around the room making sure Rosalie wasn't anywhere in sight. "Rose doesn't know and she cannot ever know."

"Don't worry she is in the shower," she whispers. She looks at me for a second. "I noticed Rose was really against this whole thing when I was talking to her about it last night. Do you know why?"

I sigh. "It's complicated. Because they have a weird relationship…She loves him, like a brother. I mean they are practically family… But I think there are a lot of reasons. She knows what he is like. How he treats women. And she doesn't want me to get hurt. She knows that he is not the relationship type of guy. And he had done this before. Fucked a girl from work, and then acted like a complete asshole to her so much so that she quit a few weeks later. At least that's what she told me the day of my interview, after she asked whether Edward and I were fucking," I mutter.

Alice gasps for a second. And then starts cracking up…practically rolling around on the ground… apparently thinking this was the funniest thing in the world.

"That sounds like Rose," she says finally able to maintain her composure.

I roll my eyes at her. "And even worse he has told girls before that he has bitches on his dick. I don't know whether he thought It was a way to impress girls or if he thought it made him look cool. I'm sure he has used it in the past though, because it worked. And most girls swooned over it. Thinking they were so lucky to be one of the many. But as soon as he said it to me I slapped him… He is probably one of the biggest reasons there is a no dating policy at work."

"Oh shit, Bells. Why didn't you tell me this before? The shit he has done in his past? I didn't realize that he was that bad. You should definitely let last night be a one-time thing then. Don't put yourself through that. There are going to be plenty of guys that you can date and have fun with once we start school.

"And that is exactly the reason I didn't want to tell you," I say in an exasperated voice. "Because I swear to god if one more person tells me to stay away from Edward I am going to scream. I get it. He is an asshole. And he doesn't deserve shit from me. But I like him. More so then anyone I have liked before. And despite what other people are saying, and despite what he has done, I have seen a different side of him. One that most people don't get to see. And I need to make my own decisions about him. My own mistakes that have nothing to do with anyone else. Does that make sense?" I ask her pleading with her to understand my predicament. "I need to stop feeling guilty for having feelings for him. For wanting him. Even though it probably makes me the most naïve person in the world. I need to figure shit out on my own. I need to make my own mistakes and live with the consequences."

We are both silent for a moment. Contemplating what I just said. Deciding I didn't want to talk about this anymore I decide to change the subject before she could say anymore about it.

"God I am so excited to move into these apartments," I say looking around Rose's apartment.

I look at Alice for a second, and she looks back at me suspiciously, knowing I want to change the subject, but still wanting to know more about my relationship with Edward, and know more about the side of Edward everyone else seem to be missing. I know that deep down the romantic in her wanted us to work it out. She wanted to believe that he could change for me. That he could change if he met the right girl. But I was a cynic. And I didn't think it would be that easy.

Realizing she wasn't going to win she rolls her eyes at me. She knew it was like pulling teeth trying to get me to talk about my feelings. So she lets it go.

She bounces up and down excitedly and says, "I know me too! Thank god my dad could get us out of living in the freshman dorms.

Alice's dad worked for UDUB and was pretty high up in the ranks. I didn't know exactly what he did, but because of him Alice was able to get free tuition, and was able to get out of living in the dorms freshman year. And I, being the best friend was able to live with her.

"Come on let's go get you ready for work! Can I curl your hair, Bells?" She asks me pleadingly.

I roll my eyes at her. She had a way with people. And a way of getting people to do things for her. She could probably go toe to toe with the worst kind of people, and use her charm to get them to eat out of the palm of her hand.

"Fine. But you better hurry, I have to leave for work soon." I say rolling my eyes at how easily she could get me to do things. And I started wondering, if there was another reason behind her wanting me to look good...

Rose and I walk into work an hour later, and I could admit, I was nervous as hell. I had been quiet all through breakfast, and Rosalie kept looking at me suspiciously. Wondering what was wrong. Fortunately, I could use the fact that I was hung over as an excuse. But I wasn't entirely sure she believed me. I spot Edward leaning against the bar. Talking to that bitch, Victoria. She had her hands all over him… running one of them up and down his shoulder. And they were standing entirely to close. He seemed to enjoy the attention though. He was flirting with her right back. Laughing with her, and making her smile.

And when he reaches up to put a piece of hair behind her ear, that is all I need to see before I am strengthened in my resolve. That last night had been a mistake, and that being friends was the best thing right now. What the fuck was he doing? How could he go from the most incredible night last night, to flirting with some other girl today? Letting her touch, him and put her hands all over him. Acting like he wasn't effected. Acting like last night hadn't been life changing. A slew of emotions ran through me, and I tried to keep it from showing on my face. Because I knew that eventually he would look over and see me. That connection letting him know I was there.

When he finally does see me his face turns from smiling at whatever Victoria had been saying to a look of panic and remorse. It was obvious that I had failed at keeping the emotions off of my face. He starts to remove himself from her grip wanting to come over to me. But I shake my head at him. Letting him know not to worry about it, and that I didn't want to make a scene here. Instead I point to the back room. Telling him to meet me there. When he nods his understanding, I watch him turn towards Victoria wrapping his arm around her and whispering in her ear. We must not have been as sly as I thought we were because she looks up at me, realizing that we were having a silent conversation when she had been working so hard to flirt with him. She has a smug look on her face though. Loving the fact that he had his arm around her while I was watching.

When he finally releases her, she gives me a look of disgust, probably from taking Edwards attention away from her. Then she turns on her too- high heel and walks away. She shakes her ass the whole way, most likely hoping that Edward would be watching. I watch her leave and look at her in disgust. I mean really? Were these girls really this desperate for attention? And were these the kind of girls that he hooked up with? I turn and look at Edward to see if he is watching her walk away. To see if he is really the asshole everyone said he was. But he wasn't. He was staring at me. Focusing all of his attention on me. With a heated look so intense that I had to look away for a second.

While looking away I try gaining my composure, so that I won't let this intense connection we have effect what I was about to do. Finally, I look back up at him. Scared to see my own feeling reflected in his. Because that was going to make what I was about to do even harder. When I do look up, I gasp. Because he is looking at me. In a way that I don't think I have ever seen him look at a girl before…almost like love? But that's not possible. Edward isn't the type of guy who falls in love. And I start wondering…is it just my own feelings being reflected back to me…Is it wishful thinking? Me trying to see what I want to see? But then I realize what I am saying…am I really in love with him? I barely even know him…so I can't be…right?

That heat is still there. So intense. And so real. For the first time since I met him, I felt like I was way out of depth with Edward. That I was in way over my head. I wasn't prepared for whatever the hell these feelings between us were. I had never been in love before, but I could see myself falling for him…hard. I could see us turning into more. And I knew that would only end in my own destruction... my own heartbreak. Because I knew the kind of guy he was. He would never settle down. And he would never be happy with just one women.

Finally, he breaks the connection, and turns, heading towards the back room. I sigh, prepping myself to go talk to him. While it was the last thing I wanted to do right now, when he had just been flirting with another girl, I knew it had to be now or never. Because I had to act like I was unaffected by him flirting with another girl…And because I don't think I would have the nerve to able to do it later.

I wait about five minutes to walk to the back room, not wanting anyone to get suspicious. After all we both had our reasons to keep this a secret, I think to myself bitterly. His reasons being that he didn't want the other girls to know that he had hooked up with me. I walk into the back room and shut and lock the door. I don't turn around just yet, still trying to prepare myself for what I was about to say. Finally, I turn around and look at him. He has a look on his face. Almost like he was pleading with me to understand why he was flirting with Victoria. Deciding I didn't want to talk about her right now…or really ever, I start talking.

"Edward look about last night." I sigh trying to get everything out…but struggling…and for some reason not being able to say the words. Why was it so hard to say how I feel? I run my hands through my hair, a habit I picked up for him, and finally just decide to spit it. "Look Edward about last night- "

He cuts me off shaking his head. And for the first time his face looks serious. "Bella don't worry about it- "

"No…I feel like I owe you an explanation…for walking away like I did. It's just you...and me…we are a bad idea… and this whole situation is so confusing. And fucked up. -" I start struggling for an explanation. "It's like one minute you are calling me a whore, telling me I play games, and the next second you are telling me how much you want me. I mean…fuck" I say running my hand through my hair. "I really don't get you. Or what you want."

He looks at me for a second. Almost like he is trying to read my thoughts. I didn't know what I wanted him to say. If I really wanted to be with him for real or not. But my heart was racing in expectation.

He sighs and swears under his breath. Shit, I just-" He runs his hand through his hair, struggling for an explanation. Finally, he looks up at me, a pained expression on his face. Almost like it was killing him to say this to me. "Look Bella, you said it yourself. You are not the relationship type of person…And really…. neither am I. You were- "…he swallows and closes his eyes, "right to walk away from me last night. Because I don't think I could really give you what you want. And maybe it would be better if we were just friends."

My heart drops. Because that was the most dismissive rejection that I have ever experienced. And all I felt was hurt…and stupid for having these feelings for him. But why was I this hurt? Wasn't I about to say the exact same thing to him? Maybe it bothered me because I hadn't really meant what I was going to say. But it was obvious that he did. Because it really didn't make sense… that he would want me. That he would be willing to give up his harem of girls because of one night of sex. _No matter how mind blowing it was, I think._ But maybe it wasn't mind blowing for him. Maybe I built it up so much in my head. After all he had has sex with countless women. Who knows how last night really effected him? Regardless of his declarations that it was the best sex he had ever had, and that it had never felt so good.

Maybe last night effected me so much because this was the first time I actually cared. That I wanted a one night stand to end in something more. But that didn't make sense either. Being friends is what I wanted. Right?

I sigh. Even though I know this was what was best…for both of us. And even though my head was telling me that this would save me from a whole hell of a lot of pain, I knew that this wasn't really what I wanted. I take a deep breath…trying to not let my emotions show on my face like they always did. Trying not to cry. This was ridiculous. Why was I getting so worked up over one night of sex? Its not like I haven't done it before. I wasn't a whore. _Contrary to what Edward seemed to think._ But I also wasn't a prude. I have had sex before. So why was it that he effected me like this? More then any other guy that I have ever been with? What is it about him? I was becoming one of those girls that I hated. The girl who overanalyzed ever single interaction that she had with a boy. To try and figure out if he liked me as much as I liked him. But that wasn't me. I wasn't that girl. So I decided right then that I wasn't going to care...that I was going to let it go.

I look up at him and say, "Your right. We should just be friends. We don't want to make this more complicated then it already is. Especially since we are going to be working with each other."

I look into his eyes and I see a flicker of…disappointment in his eyes? Almost like he was mad that I gave in so quickly. But what did he expect? For me to fight for something that I didn't even know that I fully wanted? That I didn't even know that he even wanted? And was he really disappointed? How is that possible? He is the one who said we should be friends. Is that not really what he wanted? But he said it himself. He couldn't give me what I needed. And while I wanted him…Probably more then I have ever wanted any guy…I knew this was the right thing to do.

"Yeah friends…"

He clears the disappointed look from his face almost immediately. Like he was aware of it…but was trying to hide it from me. Was he scared of getting hurt too? Of showing too much of his emotions?

I broken from my thoughts when he smirks at me and jokingly says, "You know if we are going to be friends we should really try hanging out, outside of work."

End Flashback

And that's what started our friendship. Our real friendship. Not the one we were trying to resurrect now. Back when he was being his self and not the asshole he is now. Because I got to see another side of Edward. One that most people, other then Jasper and Alice, had never been able to see. We had always had this connection. And we just got each other. I wished more then anything we could go back to that.

At the time Alice, Edward, and I had been inseparable. Spending all of our time together during the summer, and when school had started. But that friendship we had only lasted about five months. Because shortly after school started we once again we found our selves in a compromising positon. And fell into our pattern. Our mistakes that we made over and over. And that's when I realized. Trying to be more than friends is what had really shot everything to hell. I miss that friendship. The one that we had before feelings, and sex got in the way. Before everything got to be so complicated, and confusing. Because I knew now how impossible it would be to become friends again. To go back to the way things were before sex. He proved that today when he became a jealous asshole when I brought up my boyfriend. Insulting him and trying to make me doubt my relationship. Or becoming a jealous asshole anytime I talked to any man for that matter. I knew though that I wasn't any better. I hated his new girlfriend. Hated that he was even able to have a serious girlfriend when he claimed that he had problems with commitment.

That had obviously been a lie. I really was naïve to think that. But he strung me along for 2 years. Making me think that our "relationship" was more than it really was. So I thought that was just the way he was…that he wasn't able to commit. But then I realized…he was obviously able to commit. After all he was with Kate, and had introduced her to his friends right? So they must be serious…The problem was that he just couldn't commit… to me. Was there something about this new girl, some quality, that I didn't have? I mean really, why wasn't it me? Why wasn't he able to commit to me?

Being brought back from my memories I think about Alice's part in my relationship. I realized how wishy washy she has been about my whole relationship with Edward. How one minute she would be scheming to bring us together only to tell me it was a bad idea the next minute. I stare at her hard for a second. I didn't understand.

"What the fuck is with the back and forth, Alice?" I ask her annoyed. "Your mood swings are really giving me whiplash you know? Weren't you just smirking at me earlier for looking at Edward?" I ask. My voice sounds accusatory, and I wince, knowing that I am probably outing myself for checking him out earlier.

She looks at me for a moment and sigh. "This is going to sound really selfish. Especially because of everything that happened between the two of you, and how shitty he was. I just- "She looks off into the distance for a second cutting herself off. I hated when she did this. It was like she was able to see things that no one else really could. She starts up again.

"I'm sorry Bells. Its just… complicated. I hate what he did. I hate that he hurt you. But there are times I am reminded of our college days. Like the way you were staring at him today, and the way he was looking at you… it reminded me of how you guys were with each other back then. Before you were together. When we were all friends. And we were all happy. I was reminded of all of the crazy time we had together. And I miss that. Sometimes I wish we could go back to that, you know? Become the tight knit family that we were again. Does that make me selfish to say that? I'm sorry Bella. I know you probably hate being reminded of the past. Because all of the bad times are probably brought up with the good. And they probably overshadow the good times don't they?" She pauses for a moment, but probably worried about my reaction, she rambles on.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about this. And that's why for now on I am going to keep my mouth shut about him. I am going to let you make your own decisions, and stay out of it. I just want to let you know that I love you and I never want to see you get hurt again. And that's why I have been acting the way I have. Warning you that getting back together with him would be a mistake. But this time I am going to stay out of it. And you can decide what you want to do." She finally finishes her long rant letting out a breath.

I sit there for a second letting what she said sink in…trying not to let myself think about what she said about him looking at me like he used to. I wasn't going to go down that road again. But I could understand where she was coming from. All of us being back together again did make it hard for me not to think about the past. Back when we were all happy and a tight knit family. But it did bring back more bad memories then good. It reminded of all of the secrets, lies, and betrayals. It reminded me that he was like a puzzle. So fucking difficult to figure out. I never knew what he meant...or what he wanted. But most of all it reminded me of what it was like to love someone so much and to be so naïve, and innocent, thinking it was going to last, only to have the rug pulled out from under you.

I had been so close, so many times since I have been back, to throwing caution to the wind and getting back together with him. But now that I think about it, I had been I realize how stupid I was. To think this time could be any different. To think I could ever get out of a relationship with Edward unscathed. I got out of it last time so broken down that I could barely function. Did I really want to put myself through that again?

As much as I loved Alice I really was ready to go back to New York. To continue my life, the way it was without the ghost of loves past being there every time I turned around. To stop being reminded of the past every fucking time I saw him. I needed an escape. And I needed it fast. And I knew exactly who to call to make that happen. I dial the number of the one person I know can help bring me out of this funk.

 **Present time, Seattle Washington**

 **EPOV:**

"So who is all in the wedding party?" I hear Kate ask me as I work on dinner.

I had gone to Kate's house shortly after my argument with Bella. Needing to get out of that quiet house where all I was able to do was think. About us. And how, like always, I had shot everything to hell by being a complete asshole to her. Ruining any chance, we had of being friends again. But really I knew that it would be impossible to be friends again. We had too much baggage. And I don't think either of us could be happy seeing the other with someone else. No matter how ok Bella sounded when she was asking me about my girlfriend I knew it was a mask…a façade to hide her own feelings. I knew this because it was exactly how I felt when I saw her with her boyfriend. So out of jealousy I lashed out at her when she started talking about how great her boyfriend was. I insulted her boyfriend and tried to make her feel insecure in her relationship. It was a shitty thing to do…But I was hurt…and a jealous asshole when it came to her. Once again I started wondering why I couldn't ever do anything right by her. And why I always seemed to let my jealousy take over whenever I was around her. I couldn't help but insult that prick of a boyfriend she had though. The way he was all over her the night before, laying his claim on her, bothered the fuck out of me. And I started wondering if he knew more about us then he let on. He really was a jealous prick who didn't deserve her. But then again… she never had been good at picking guys that were right for her.

God there had been so much I wanted to say to her this morning. I wanted to tell her how much I wanted to be with her and that last night hadn't felt like a mistake to me. I wanted to tell her that I would never be ok with being friends…because I would always want more. But she said that she just wanted to be friends and to forget last night had ever happened. And that killed me. Because I realized that I had really blown my shot of being with her…

But then she pleads with me…begs me to tell her what I wanted…And I froze. Because I was confused. One minute she was telling me it was over and the next she was asking for something. But what she was asking for I wasn't sure. Was she tired of these games that we were playing? Or was she waiting for me to tell her that I wanted her first, because she was going to tell me that she wanted me too? I froze because I was searching for something from her. Some sign that she wanted to be with me too. But I didn't see it. All I saw was a girl who had been hurt one too many times and was over it. So I didn't tell her. Because I was a coward. I was afraid to lay it all on the line…and tell her how I felt. Because I knew that it would lead to her walking away from me. And I don't think I could have handled being rejected like that a second time. Regardless of the fact that it was my fault, and I was the one who drove her away. But she walked away from me anyways. And when she walked away I knew that she was done. It felt like it was over. Maybe it had really been over a long time ago. And I knew now that I had to find some way to get her out of my system.

I sigh thinking about my entire relationship with her. The only time I had done anything right by her was when I told her I just wanted to be friends after we had sex for the first time.

It had been her idea…really… not mine. But I knew what she was going to say that day. That it had been a mistake. That getting involved with me would be stupid. And that's why she walked away from me that night. Not even looking at me after we had sex. I'll admit that I was hurt…and confused when she walked away from me, without a glance back. It bothered me more then it probably should have. Because it made the fact that we had just had sex completely meaningless. But then after thinking about it, I understood that making it seem like it didn't mean anything was probably her goal. It was all about self preservation. It was her trying to get out and save herself before she fell too deep. Before real feelings got involved. And it was her trying to make it seem like she cared less than she did. Because I knew she didn't want to get involved with me. She knew me too well. She knew that I didn't know how to be in a real relationship and that I would probably run at the first sign that our relationship was something real. And she was right. Because I did get scared. And it led me to hurt her and make stupid mistakes…over and over again. Until finally she had enough. Because that was what I had always done before.

So I spoke up before she could say anything. Trying to avoid being rejected. Because being rejected by her? I could admit that it would have killed me. But at the time I had thought it was the right thing, telling her we should just be friends. That she deserved better then me and my womanizing ways. That she deserved to be with someone that could give her what she wanted. Because I knew I couldn't give her that. A real relationship with a guy who could open up and talk about his feelings. I wasn't that guy. I had too many demons. Too much shit that happened in my past for me to be able to be in a real relationship. But I wondered what would have happened if I was able to tell her how I felt that day? Would we have gone through all of the pain…all of that hurt… that we went through if I had been able to admit my feelings back then?

I am brought out of my memories, realizing I haven't answered her question. I think about what she asked me and I freeze for a second. Suspicious about where she was going with this.

"The groomsmen are me, Jasper's brother, and Mike."

"And the girls? Jess, the girl I met briefly last night, and that girl Bella right?" I start to panic when her name comes out of Kate's mouth. She seems to be pushing for an answer…a reaction. Almost like she knew more then she was letting on. How was that possible? Who could have told her about Bella? And why? Was it that obvious based on our interactions, or did Alice tell her? If it was Alice, then she was purposely doing it to hurt me. To ruin my relationship… And probably trying to defend her best friend. And while I get it…I really did…it really was a shitty thing for her to do. Her and I used to be friends. And I didn't think she would ever really do anything to purposely hurt me. I knew I never would do it to her… Despite everything. Because I really did still consider her one of my best friends…

But Kate had to know something about me and Bella. That had to be why she behaved the way she did last night. Metaphorically pissing on my leg and laying down her claim on me. Emphasizing the word girlfriend, a little too much when she was introducing herself to Bella. It was weird because I had never seen her act jealous around other women before. She was always so confident in our relationship. Confident that we were in love and confident that she helped me to "change my ways." While she was there for me in my loneliest times, and she helped me through a lot of shit, it wasn't her that changed me. Even though she thought it was. Even though she told anyone that would listen that I was the most attentive loving boyfriend she had ever had.

It wasn't her that changed me though. It was Bella. It had always been Bella. Even though I was scared as hell to be in love, she was the first girl to ever make me think it was possible. To be in love. To love someone and to be happy. And not feel like I was being suffocated…or stuck. That I could have a love that was different from my parents. A better love. Without feeling like I was obligated to her. I really thought I could be happy back then… And I really thought I had been ready to be in a relationship. But I hadn't been. And I think that is what ultimately ended us.

But now even though it didn't look like it, especially since this girl drove me crazy, made me do stupid things, and make stupid decisions, I knew I was ready to be with her for real now. To be in love and in a real relationship. Whatever that would mean. And however we could make it happen.

I started thinking about my relationship with Kate and how different it was with her. It disturbed me how Kate viewed our relationship. I don't know whether she was trying to flaunt it, or what her deal was. But she made our relationship sound like I was the most attentive boyfriend in the world. But I wasn't. I was mechanical. Going through the motions of a relationship. I barely gave her any attention. How could I when I was so clearly in love with someone else? The shit she was spouting was bullshit. And I didn't know what game she was playing. Or what her end goal was. Why she was trying to put up a façade to make our relationship look better then it was? I don't know who she was trying to impress. But the way she was acting wasn't attractive.

If she knew about me and Bella, then she was doing all of this on purpose to hurt her. To play games. And although we weren't together anymore, Bella and I used to be friends. And I would never be ok with anyone purposely trying to hurt her.

"Yea, and Angela, who I don't think you have met yet." I say trying to keep the bite out of my tone. She hums in response and I keep stirring, hoping that she would just let the subject drop. The last thing I wanted to do right now was talk about Bella. Especially, since this morning we agreed to end things. To leave each other alone…Believe me it was her idea not mine. I thought I was being selfless. Giving her what she wanted for the first time in our relationship. Finally, willing to walk away no matter how hard it was. But I didn't think it would be so painful. And It was painful enough already without having to talk about it, especially with Kate.

"Bella seemed nice, she continues on, "Well for the few minutes that I met her. How does she know Jasper and Alice?"

I stop stirring again and turn around to look at her. Her face is the picture of nonchalance. Almost like she was trying too hard to act like she didn't care about the answer…But I knew her too well. And I knew there was a reason behind her questions.

"Her and Alice have been best friends since high school, and went to college together."

She looks up at me for a second and then sashays over to me, trying to look sexy but obviously failing. Well most guys would think it was sexy. But I was too suspicious of her motives to bother caring. Beside a long time ago I knew a girl who could look sexy without even trying. And I liked that. But Kate always looked like she was trying way too fucking hard. She wraps her arms around my waist and looks up at me.

"Oh so you hadn't met her before the wedding festivities?" I look down at her. Now I was fucking angry. Why couldn't girls just say what they really fucking mean?

"Kate why don't you just tell me what you really want to know?" I say frustrated with girls who just wanted to play games. I wrap my hands around her arms pulling her off me. Then I run my hands through my hair backing away.

"I'm just wanted to know more about Alice's friends, Edward. Especially since we are going to her wedding party dinner tonight." She says pissed off. "There isn't any motives behind what I am asking you. Alice wasn't exactly warm towards me when I met her, and I just wanted to know more about her friends so that I can get to know them. And her… Maybe even become part of the group. Beside you said Jasper is practically like a brother to you right? That his parents practically raised you? If we are going to be a couple I am going to have to be friends with your friends. Be able to hangout when them when we all go out together. Right baby?" She purrs wrapping her arms back around my waist.

I want to laugh at the fact that she wants to be friends with my friends. Because I know that would never happen. Alice was too loyal to Bella to ever let that happen. And Alice wasn't exactly my biggest fan right now either. I knew I needed to keep up pretenses though. Because Jasper still didn't know. And although I knew it would come out eventually, like all secrets did, I wanted to stay friends with Jasper. He was honestly one of my best friends. And she was right. He was still my brother for all intents and purposes. And he put up with a lot of my shit.

"Yep. Last night was the first time I met her, Kate." I say trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice but obviously failing. She looks up at me suspiciously obviously not believing me. And that's when I realized that she really did know more then she was letting on. Was it an intuition? Or had Alice really said something to her? I was internally starting to freak the fuck out. I didn't know what to say to her. To get her off my back and to not blow this entire thing out of the water. Because I didn't need anymore drama.

But then her face clears and she goes back to acting like she doesn't care about my answer. "Ok, cool. Well she definitely seems like someone that I could hangout with. We should all go out on a double date some time. You, me, and her and that boyfriend of hers. I only met him briefly but he seemed like quite the catch. Did you see them together? They seemed really into each other didn't they? It was cute. He didn't leave her side, and he was constantly touching her. They looked like they were really in love." She said dreamily.

I feel like I have been punched in the gut. Was she doing this on purpose? Reminding me that Bella had moved on to someone else, and was happy? Reminding me that I shouldn't be so focused on Bella? Did she know that she was crushing me? If so she was succeeding. Could she know more then she was letting on? I started looking at her in a new light. Because it was almost like she was manipulated me. Was this her way of manipulating me into moving on? Or was this her way of telling me she wanted to be more serious? Either way I didn't like the side of Kate that I have been seeing.

My mind can't help though but to think about what Kate said about Bella and that… _kid's_ relationship. Were they really as happy as they seemed? Or was it an act… a front Bella was putting on for my sake?

I think back to what she said this morning…was he really as good to her as she claimed? It wasn't jealousy, entirely, that drove what I said this morning. He seemed to be possessive, and manipulative of her last night. Letting every other guy know that she was taken. But then she smiled at him like she didn't realize. And looked at him in a way… I shake my head clearing my thoughts before they went to a dark place. Where she was happy and in love with someone else…because I didn't want to believe it. That she could really be as happy and in love with someone else as she was with me…despite what happened, and despite how everything ended.

But if that was the kind of guy she wanted… and who made her happy then fine -tonight I'll prove that I had really moved on just as much as she had…

A/n: Next up the dinner party. Who do you guys think that Bella called? And do you think Kate knows more then she is letting on? Thanks for reading :) And I'll see you in two weeks!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys, I know you probably already figured this out but just to warn you, this story is going to be a slow burn. They still have a lot to work out, and a whole lot of hurt feelings that they need to work through, in order to see if they can make it work in the end. Thanks again for all of the reviews/favorites/follows! I do not own Grey's Anatomy or Sex and the City :)**

" _I wish I could run to you, and I hope you know that, every time I don't…I almost do…I almost do." Taylor Swift- Almost Do_

Hey baby, how are you?"

"Jake," I breath out in relief. I knew at that moment calling him had been the right thing to do. Because he knew exactly how to cheer me up, and how to put a smile on my face.

What are you doing? I miss you baby, I feel like we haven't talked in awhile."

The guilt that I am carrying threatens to suffocate me. Because I know the reason that I have been so distracted and distant. I really am a terrible girlfriend…. I am cleared though from my thoughts when he continues.

"Do you want to come over? I know we have to be at the dinner party at six but we can hangout for a little bit before, maybe have a drink and watch a movie?

"Yeah…that sounds good. I just have to go to this appointment with Alice and then I'll can come over. So it'll probably be like an hour?"

"Ok, sounds good… He pauses for a minute. "Are you ok, baby? You seem distracted."

'Yeah… I'm fine. I just haven't been feeling well… or sleeping very well lately. It must be stress or something... But I'll be over after Alice's wedding appointment."

"Ok... He hesitates for a second. "Look, I know that you want to be there for Alice but if your feeling stressed out you need to let her know. I'm sure she would be understanding and take some things of your plate." I smile, because I know he is trying to look out for me. And he knows exactly how to make me feel better. "I'll see you soon." I hang up the phone, and I sigh. My relationship was so different from the one I had with Edward. Everything was so complicated, and confusing when I was with him. But with Jake…he made everything fun…I always had the best time when I was with him. And he knew exactly what to do to cheer me up…and make me laugh. While Edward was trying to tear my life apart, Jake wanted to build a life…with me. And regardless of his age he talks about our future, and his feelings for me all of the time. Where as with Edward…I have never known what he wants from me…or how he feels.

 **Flashback July 2009**

After our confrontation, Edward and I were able to settle back into our routine. And we actually managed to become friends. Hanging out all of the time outside of work. I still wasn't ready to hangout with him alone. I knew where that would end, and I knew I couldn't go there again. He continued to date everyone women in Seattle though, and I continued to pretend like I didn't care. They were literally like a revolving door. And he had a system. He would hit on single girls at work, go on a few dates with them, they would show up to work, sitting in his section, bragging that they had finally claimed the great Edward Cullen, and then a week later they would be gone. Even Rose, who knew how he was…and knew him better then anyone… was annoyed and confused by they way he was acting.

"I just don't get it," she had said a week earlier. "Yes he had always been bad, but it has never been like this…and he never used to bring these girls to work. I wonder what had changed…"

I cough, and look away, not wanting to look her in the eyes…because I knew exactly what had changed…and I started wondering if he was doing this on purpose…parading around all of these women because of me…

I roll my eyes when I hear the nasally voice of his newest girlfriend from across the restaurant. She was gorgeous…of course…but her voice…and her laugh…god…it was the most obnoxious thing I had ever heard. But I knew that I couldn't let anyone know that it bothered me. So instead I was resolved to ignoring her, and getting done with work as fast as I could. All of the other girls seemed to love this new girl, of course, and they were crowded around her admiring all of her expensive clothes, and jewelry…all of the while probably secretly jealous that she had Edward's attention….

An hour later I was clearing the last of my tables. Anxious to leave the obnoxious giggles that would forever be imprinted in my brain when I heard, "God her laugh is obnoxious isn't it?

Without thinking I reply, "Yeah I don't think I have heard anything more obnoxious in my life," I mutter.

I hear a laugh, and I look up… and into the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes that I had ever seen.

"Hi I'm Riley," he says holding his hand out to me.

"Bella," I say shaking his hand.

"Have you been working here long? I don't think I have ever seen you. Of course its been awhile since I have been here though."

"Yeah, only for a few months."

"Well, damn, if I knew there was someone as beautiful as you working here, I might have come back a lot sooner," he says smiling at me. But instead of the smirk I am used to seeing from _certain_ people, his smile is actually genuine.

I blush, never having been good at taking compliments.

"See what I mean? That blush…beautiful."

I roll my eyes at him. "Ok, enough with the charm." He laughs, and I can't help but think that his laugh is one that can instantly put you at ease.

"So why has it been so long since you have been here?" I asked him genuinely curious.

He stops for a moment looking at me, and sighs.

"Sorry if that was too personal you don't have to talk about it," I say quickly, embarrassed and getting ready to escape.

'No its fine," he said waving me off. "Its just my ex used to work here. And it was hard…because we had spent so much time here together. And the break up was kind of bad. But now she is gone…graduated…and I am completely over her… so its no big deal."

"Wow, thank you for sharing that." I was in shock. I had never met a guy who was so open, and willing to talk about there past, especially when I just met them…and especially when it was painful. I realized then that I could really see myself liking this guy.

"So do you go to UDUB then? Or are you just a regular?"

"I used to, but I graduated last year," he says smiling at me. "There are a lot of good memories here," he says looking around. "But now I just come here to see my friend Emmett, and meet beautiful women like you." He says looking back up at me.

"Oh so your friends with Emmett then?

"Yeah, we met two years ago, and had been roommates up until he moved in with Rosalie."

"Emmett is a great guy isn't he?" I say smiling.

"One of the best. He helped me through a lot of my shit, and the break up. I feel bad because we haven't been able to hangout in awhile due to our schedules, and the fact that I was trying to deal with this whole break up thing. But he is still one of my best friends." I smile at him. He seems like he is such a great guy and the fact that he is friends with Emmett makes him seem even better. I am interrupted from my thoughts by Emmett scooting into the booth next to me.

"Hey B, I see you have met my handsome friend, Riley. What have you guys been talking about?" He asks putting his arm behind my booth, and wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

I slap him on the arm. "Shut up, Emmett. We just met, and started talking." I say smiling at him.

"We were just bonding over our mutual hatred of women with obnoxious laughs, he says his eyes looking over my shoulder at what I assume is Edward's latest fling. Emmett turns around and looks at what he is staring at, and then starts laughing.

"Yeah he sure knows how to pick them, doesn't he?" he says, but instead of looking at Riley he is looking at me, raising his eyebrows. What the hell is that about? Does he know more about us then he is letting on?

"But anyways, Edward is a cool guy. He does have issues with relationships, but I think that is because of his parents, and their shitty marriage."

I am ashamed to admit that I was listening to Emmett talk about Edward with rapt interest. Edward has been such a closed book, even after becoming friends, that I never knew anything real about him. I knew I couldn't pry for more information though with Riley here…and I didn't want to explain why I cared so much…

"But enough about that" …he says smiling at me. Shit _does_ he know?

"Are you interested in my boy, Bells?" he asks a smirk on his face. And for a second I am not sure who he is really talking about. Edward…or Riley.

"Dude, don't embarrass her, if you do I may never get the chance to go out with her." He says a smile on his face.

He laughs. "Don't worry about it, I do it all of the time. And she loves me."

I roll my eyes, and smack Emmett in the back of the head. "You just keep telling yourself that, Em. I am going to tell Rose that you are giving me a hard time, and you know what that'll mean." I say raising my eyebrows at him.

He laughs at my attempt at a threat. "Oh please, my Rosie will never be able to resist me, even if she tries to put a ban on the love making." He says wiggling his eyebrows. We all laugh because it was Emmett just being Emmett.

"But back to you two love birds. How about we go on a double date next weekend? Rosie and I can't this weekend because we are going home to see the 'rents. Bells, you and Rose can talk about where we are going."

"Yeah man, that sounds cool with me, he says smiling at me. I smile back and say, "Definitely."

"Awesome," he says getting up. "Bells we have to go, and I know you have to go back to work. So make the arrangement, and we will work something out." He says practically dragging Riley out the door.

'Bye, Bella." He calls over his shoulder.

 **One week later:**

He continues showing up at the same time everyday. Sitting at the same table…knowing I would be waiting on him. After talking to him every day when I am on break we both realize that we had actually seen each other before at the club opening of my birthday….

"Well I have to get back to work," I say starting to get up. The whole time I had been talking to RileyI had notice Edward looking over…watching us…trying to figure out what was going on, and I was afraid he was going to say something to Rosalie…and try to ruin this for me. Regardless of our friendship status I never knew what Edward would do next. If he would act like a friend or a jealous ex…I think his mystery was probably what attracted me to him in the first place…

"Wait," he says grabbing onto my arm." I turn around and look at him. He has a genuine smile on his face, and I can't help but think about how different he is from the other guys I dated in the past.

"I want to take you out," he continues, "On a real date, without Emmett." He says smirking and I laugh. "Do you think they can spare you here for one night?" He asks.

I pretend to think about it for a second, but really, I am excited. I needed to have some fun. To go out with a nice guy that wasn't going to screw with my head.

"I should be able to do that," I say smiling at him. He smiles back and grabs my hand holding it for a second. Then he pulls his hand back and reaches for his phone.

"Here, give me your number," he says handing his phone to me, "Emmett rushed me out the door so fast last week, that I forgot to ask you. I will call you soon to set up a date." I smile at him and program my number into his phone. Then I look back up at him, "I really have to go before I get fired," I say.

"Ok we will talk soon," he says, getting up as well. He then throws a bunch of bills on the table, gives me a kiss on the cheek and then turns around and walks out the door. I sigh, closing my eyes for a second. He really was perfect. At that moment Alice walks up to me, a smile on her face.

"Who was that Bells?" She asks, "He was hot!"

I roll my eyes at her. "Just a guy. He has been coming here all week. He is really good friends with Emmett and we just got to talking…he wants to take me out on a date."

She squeals. "Damn girl I am impressed! You sure do know how to pick them. Hot and older! We need to go shopping to get you the perfect outfit for your date," she says loudly because that's the only volume she seems to be able to speak in. She turns several heads including Edwards. "Do you think they can let you out like an hour early? I bet I can talk to Rose."

I grab her arm, "Al, shhh I am at work! And I don't need my business being yelled out loud for everyone to hear. Plus, we have been busy all day so I don't think I'll be able to get out early."

"You mean you don't want Edward to hear," she mutters.

"What the hell are you talking about Al."

'Come on, admit it. You don't want Edward to hear that you are going on a date…because you are into him. But if you think about it, this is perfect. He is so used to having the upper hand and playing games. Being the one who has all of these girls all over him. For fuck sakes Bells, he keeps parading around women in front of you at work ever since…" I give her a look telling her not to say it out loud…. you had sex," she whispers. "Even Rose said it hasn't ever been this bad. But now he deserves to be a little jealous. To know that you are desirable too." Of course they had been talking about me…and Edward. I knew introducing them had been a bad idea….

I roll my eyes at her. "Al I am not going to play games with him. That isn't why I am doing this. I actually really like this guy. He is sweet, smart, uncomplicated…and he isn't afraid to tell a girl how he feels. I need someone like that."

She gives me a sympathetic look.

"Your right, I'm sorry. You do need someone like that. And I shouldn't have implied that it was about Edward. You know what, I am going to come back at the end of your shift, and I'm going to take you shopping. No arguments," she says raising her eyebrows when she sees me about to protest.

Knowing that I wouldn't win I roll my eyes and say, "Fine you win." She starts jumping up and down and then gives me a hug. As she walks away I yell, "But I want you to promise me that you wont go over the top, Al."

She laughs at me, but doesn't answer, walking out the door of the restaurant. Shit this is why I never gave her free reign, I think. But I appreciate what she was trying to do. She knew I needed to get over Edward, and she wanted me to get excited that I was finally going out on a date with someone else. Because I hadn't…ever since _that night_. I hadn't dated, had barely even made enough time to flirt with other guys. I made the excuse of being busy at work as my reason…And while that was partially true… I had also really needed some time. But Alice was right. If he was going to parade all of these women in front of me, and date half of Seattle, the least I could do is go out on a date with a nice, cute guy. Settled in my resolve I start heading back towards the kitchen to see if my orders are ready. As I reach the kitchen, I am intercepted, by a hand reaching out and grabbing my arm. I turn around and look into the eyes of…shit Edward…of course…why am I not surprised?

"Hey little girl, you have been talking to Riley? Your going on a date with him, huh?" He asks me not even bothering to pretend like he hadn't been watching me and listening in on my conversation the whole time.

I pull my arm out of his grip, and glare at him. "Edward quit calling me that, you know that I hate that nickname. Do you want me to start calling you the nickname all of your wh- girlfriends call you, huh, Eddie?"

He raises his eyebrows at me, smirking. Knowing what I was about to say…

"And the fact that I was talking to Riley is none of your damn business…you don't see me asking about your girlfriends do you Edward?" I start walking into the kitchen annoyed with the fact that one minute he acts like he doesn't care, and the next he acts like he cares…a little too much. He follows me into the kitchen.

"I was just wondering, B. He has shown up every day this week. Even when you aren't here. And he asks about you. Wondering when you'll be coming in next. It's a bit annoying actually. He acts like a stalker." I continue walking away, trying to ignore what he is saying. Repeating in my head that I wasn't going to go off on him. That I wanted to try to maintain a friendship with him, and yelling at him wouldn't help anything. He continues though, despite the fact that I am annoyed. "And I have hung out with him before…he is a bit boring…and kind of a dick. The only thing he ever wants to talk about is his frat and his car.

I turn around and look at him, not being able to do this anymore. "Edward, stop." I say holding out my hand. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to date half the women in Seattle…bring them to work… and then judge the guy I am going on a date with. Stop sending me all of these mixed signals ok?" He looks at me confused for a second, almost like he doesn't get that he is sending me mixed signals. I am so frustrated that I have to keep explaining myself… "And I like this guy. He is cute, smart, and uncomplicated…"

"You mean boring," he mutters interrupting me.

I roll my eyes at him but continue on, "- and he isn't afraid to tell me how he feels, or to ask me out on a real date. Plus, he is really good friends with Emmett so I am sure he is a good guy…and fun… I like him…so please back off."

He looks at me for a second, almost like he felt betrayed? That Emmett would set me up with someone else. And that pretty much confirmed for me that Emmett knows more about us then he lets on. He glares at me for a second and then says, "B he is way too old for you, and way more experienced. What are you thinking getting involved with someone like that? And guys like that…they really only want one thing."

"Really? Your going to give _me_ advice on who I should and shouldn't date? That's funny coming from you, Edward. And Emmett seems to be ok with it and wants to set us up, so he must be a good guy."

"Whatever, beautiful. Think what you want about him. But I know a hell of a lot more about him then Emmett does."

I look at him confused. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He looks at me for a moment, and sighs. Running his hand through his hair. "You know what, never mind." He says. I look at him suspiciously. Normally it takes a lot more for him give up, and to quit being an asshole. "I'm sorry, B. I am just very protective of you. Your one of my best friends, and I don't want to see you get hurt." The look he is giving me is genuine. And I start to wonder if that was all it was. Protectiveness…and not jealousy. Maybe I had let what happened in our past cloud my opinion of him…and make me think that there was a motive behind everything he did.

I sigh, deciding that I am going to be nicer to him, and give him the benefit of the doubt. That's what friends did…right?

'Thank you for your concern, E. But I'll be fine." I smile at him genuinely and kiss him on the cheek.

 **Present day Seattle**

 **BPOV**

I was in a daze throughout the entire appointment. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and all of the stupid mistakes that we made, the whole time we were together…... But at the same time, my memories kept reminding me that he could be a good guy when he wanted to be. After all he really had been trying to protect me…save me from being hurt by other guys. Even though he wasn't able to protect me…from him. What were we doing? It was like we were fighting fate or something. Everything seemed to bring me back to him, and I wonder if it was a sign. I was getting ready to call him, tell him that we had to put all of the shit that happened behind us, when I get a phone call from Jake.

"Hey baby, are you on your way?" He asks me when I pick up.

"Yep, I'll be there soon."

"How was the appointment."

"It was a blast," I said rolling my eyes.

He laughs knowing how much I hated all of this wedding planning stuff.

"I'll see you soon, love you."

"Love you." I say smiling… And I really did. I hated this. How I could let my memories of the past cloud my judgment. And allow me to think that maybe we could make something work again. The fact that Jake called right when I was about to call Edward. That had to be fate or something. Telling me to let this thing with Edward go….

As soon as I walk in the door of Jake's house, he picks me up spinning me around. And that's when I realized…I was home. I made the right decision going over to his house. Because he is the only one who could help me forget. It was almost like we were back in our own personal bubble in New York. Where there was no Edward…no drama…no complications…just us.

"What do you want to drink, Bells." Jake calls from the kitchen.

"I'm fine with whatever your having." I call out. He comes back in from the kitchen with a beer in each hand and we go sit down on the couch. He turns to me with a look of determination, and maybe…confusion? And I start to worry. Did he know more then I think he did?

"Bells I feel like I haven't been able to see you enough since we have been back. And I know you have been busy helping out Alice, and I have been busy taking care of my dad. But I want to take you on a date tomorrow. Just us, so we can finally get some alone time. What do you think?" The tone of his voice sounds almost…nervous? What did he expect…that I would turn him down? I start to feel guilty…because clearly I have been spending to much time focused on everything with Edward, and not enough time with Jake. I have been neglecting my relationship with him and have caused him to have doubts. And I hate that Edward was the reason.

"Of course we can, honey. I'm sorry we haven't been spending enough time together. And I know its been hard to go from seeing each other everyday in New York…to not. But we only have a few more weeks left and then we will be going back to our lives." At that realization I feel a little pang in my chest. Because as much as I am ready to get back to my life I can't help but think about the fact that it will be a long time before I see Edward again….

"Your right, come here, baby." He says pulling me into his chest. He lays his chin on top of my head and continues talking as I relax into him.

I keep thinking about everything with Edward and wondering how I can make this whole thing work. I feel like I am betraying Jake. And as much as my heart is telling me that I will always have this thing with Edward, I can't break Jake's heart. He has been loyal to a fault. And he has done nothing wrong but love a girl who was broken. Then there were our families to think about too. My dad was so happy about us being together. And I knew I couldn't disappoint my dad. Not after everything he has done for me. I am brought out of my thoughts again when I feel Jake kissing my neck and whispering, "What are you thinking about baby?"

"Jake…" I say putting my hand on his chest to stop him. "Now isn't a good time. I have to leave soon to get ready, and like I said before I haven't been feeling well." And while that was true, it was more than that. I wasn't sure if I could sleep with him right now. Not when I was so unsure about our relationship and where we are going. And not when I still had all of these unresolved feelings for Edward. The last thing I wanted to do was lead him on anymore then I already was.

"Come on baby, let me make you feel good. Besides its been way too long since we have been together Bells and I miss you." He says as he rubs my thigh and kisses my neck.

"No," I say getting up angrily and turning to him. "I am going to go. Is that seriously all you think about? Every time we spend any time together that's all you want. I am beginning to feel used, Jake." _How ironic…_

"I'm sorry, baby. I just miss you. It isn't all I think about. It has just been too long since we have been together. And your dealing with the wedding stress and I am so stressed out with everything going on with my dad, that I thought we could just be together. I'm sorry I made you feel used, baby. We can just hangout, I promise. Please don't go." He says grabbing on to my arm.

And I feel guilty. Because I haven't exactly been the best girlfriend to him. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just let him go. Let him be happy with someone who wasn't so messed up... so broken….

"Bells I just want to know that I don't have any doubts about us. I know that you're the one I want to be with. I have never thought about a future with anyone before. I never had to. Frankly, I have always lived my life and looked at my future day by day. But looking at you right now? Damn, I have all kinds of plans for us... And I really hope that you do see a future with me too, Bells. Because I love you. More than I have ever loved any girl."

After his declaration I feel tears spring to my eyes. It was exactly what I had wanted to hear. That I was sure of. So what was I doing? I was with Jake. And he made me happy. So why was I having all of these doubts about us? He was someone who could commit to me, and plan a future…Something Edward could never do. So I was I wasting my time with someone who couldn't give me what I wanted…what I needed. When I had someone right in front of me who loved me and could give me everything I have ever wanted? It was time for me to grow up. And plan my future…with someone who actually wanted to be with me. So I was going to plan my future. With Jake. Relaxed in my resolve I walk over to him, and kiss him. "I love you too, Jake. And I promise I will make more time for us…."

Jake and I show up to the restaurant twenty minutes late expecting to be the last ones there, so when no one but Edward and Kate are at the front desk I start thinking that the world really does hates me.

"Bella," Edward says in a clipped and short tone. His voice icy.

"Edward." I say back in an equal icy tone. I don't get what his problem was. Didn't we agree that we would at least be civil towards one another?

 **EPOV: Present day, Seattle Washington**

Hi Bella, its good to see you again." Kate says ignoring the obvious tension in the room. She walks over to Bella and gives her a hug. What the fuck was that? I know she "said" she wanted to be friends with Bella but this was a little over the top…even for her. This is exactly why I greeted Bella so formally. Because I knew that Kate was suspicious, early today had confirmed it, and the last thing I wanted was for her to think there was something going on.

"Hi…Kate." Bella says looking at me in confusion over her shoulder. I look back at her equally as confused. She releases Bella and Jake automatically wraps his arm around Bella's waist. I glare at him, as he and Bella are talking to Kate. He really is a dick. Did he always have to have his hands all over her? I tune back in to what Kate is saying and almost wish I hadn't. "God I am so happy that I am finally able to talk to you! "I would really like it if we could be friends, Bella." My heart drops. "In fact Edward and I were talking last night and I told him how nice it was to meet all of you, and how much fun it would be for the four of us to go out together sometime. What do you say?"

"That would be great! Wouldn't it, babe? I would love to get to know some of Bells' friends." Jake says kissing her on the cheek. Before Bella can respond, Alice finally appears.

"Thank god your finally here!" Alice says walking up to us. I hear Bella sigh in relief. Probably relieved to be saved from having to make up an excuse to get out of going out together. I had thought that I talked Kate out of it last night. But apparently not. I needed to find a way to get out of it without Kate becoming suspicious. Because the last thing I wanted was to go out on a date with them. I probably would end up killing the guy… or breaking his arms for putting his hands on her…and that would definitely be hard to explain. Where the hell did Kate get the idea that we could all hangout and be friends?

Bella looks at me nervously. Probably wondering how much I told her…if I told her about us. I shake my head at her, trying to convey that I hadn't said anything. But honestly I did want everyone to know the truth. To finally stop with all of the lies and games. And I am not going to lie. A little part of me would take pleasure in breaking them up…the perfect couple that they pretended to be. But honestly this wasn't about them. Or breaking them up, no matter how much I wanted it to happen… It was about us. It had always been about us. And I needed to prove to her how much I have changed. How I am the better option. And that he will never make her happier and more in love than she was when she was with me. And that was why earlier today I had tried to convince Kate not to come. She had come over earlier wanting me to see the dress she picked out for dinner.

 _So what do you think, Edward? She asked me twirling around and showing me the dress._

 _I look at her for a second. Torn. Because she really had been excited to go. But if I was ever going to make things work with Bella, I needed to prove to her that I wasn't playing games anymore._

" _Look Kate about tonight. Maybe it would be better if we all went out another time. It was really only supposed to be the wedding party coming, and I had to convince Alice to let me bring someone." I lie bracing myself for a fight._

 _She looks at me for a second. Hurt. "Why is it so hard for you, Edward? To let me hangout with your friends? Every time I feel like we are going somewhere you pull back. I don't get it! Is this about Bella?" She spits out. Something happened with you guys didn't it?_

 _I look at her shocked. How the hell did she know? I wasn't ready for her to know everything though. So I went on the defense._

" _This isn't about anyone else, Kate! This is about Jasper and Alice wanting it to only be the members of wedding party coming!_

" _Well that's just perfect, Edward. That way you can always keep me at a distance. And keep your friends separate from me. This is bullshit._ " _She starts crying and yelling at me, and so I knew I had to give in. And I actually thought that I convinced her that nothing had happened with Bella…._

I am brought out of my thoughts. We walk over to our table, and everyone was there already. I realized that probably half the people at this table hated me for what I did for Bella, and half of them had no clue what was going on. Suddenly, I was relived that I hadn't told any of my friends back then. Even though it was probably one of the many reason we had broken up….

Thirty minutes later we are all relaxed drinking wine, and making pleasant conversation. I couldn't help but watch her with Jake though. And make comparisons. She definitely smiles more when she was with him. But I know that was because I tried to put distance between us when we were together. Way too afraid to get close. But I started to notice that while Jake had his hands all over her, she wasn't the same way with him. I realized that they don't have that same chemistry that we always had. At least on her end. When her and I were together we were all over each other all of the time. But she didn't seem the least bit interested….

"Hey is there anymore wine in there?" I hear Bella ask. Both Jake and I reach for the bottle at the same time. I get to it first, and smirk at him. Then I turn towards Bella pouring the wine in her glass.

"Thanks," she says looking down and sounding uncomfortable. I look at Jake again and he is glaring at me. His eyes looking between Bella and I, most likely questioning whether something was going on between us. Bella looks back up completely unaware of the heated staring contest her boyfriend and I were having. When she looks at him he smiles back at her, and kisses her on the cheek. She smiles back at him and moves closer to him. I glare at him and roll my eyes, because that fucker new exactly what he was doing. He was marking his territory. And the fact that she was so unaware of it…I didn't get it.

"You ok, baby?" Kate asks me putting her hand on my thigh. Whether she thought I wasn't giving her enough attention and wanted the focus to be back on her… or she noticed how tense I was, I wasn't sure…but I was grateful for the distraction…and being brought back into reality. Before I killed the guy.

I look over at her and smile wrapping my arm around her shoulder and pulling her to me. She snuggles up to me, and starts whispering in my ear. At that exact moment Bella looks over. She has a look in her eyes…and I instantly want to release Kate. Before I can though, her attention is taken away by Alice.

"So what did you do Bells after you left the appointment? You seemed like you were in a rush to get out of there." Alice asks Bella.

"I went over to Jakes house for a little while. We have barely been able to spend time together so we just needed some alone time." Alice had obviously thought no one else was listening because she replies with, "Oh really alone time huh?" She says giving her a knowing look.

I clench my fist and glare at Alice at her insinuation. I mean of course they had sex. They were a couple. And Bella and I have been apart for years. So it would be stupid to think she hasn't slept with anyone else. After all I definitely had. It wasn't exactly the smartest or most mature thing in the world but after our breakup I was devastated. And I thought I could show Bella I didn't need her by sleeping with a bunch of women. But it had been a stupid thing to do…because it made everything between us worse then it already was.

But I didn't want to think about her being with someone else that way. Or hear it out loud. It was hard enough to see them together. Seeing her happy with someone else. Especially with a douche bag who didn't deserve her. So like always I went on the defense, wanting to make her feel as hurt as she was making me. Proving once again how much I didn't deserve to be with her.

I turn to Jazz. "So would it be ok, man if I bring some friends along to the bachelor party? They just moved back here, and I thought it would be fun for you to meet them."

"Yea of course, man. Who are they?"

"My friends Rosalie, and Emmett." I see Bella, and Alice look up at me in shock. "We were really good friends in college. They moved when Emmett got a new job, but now they are moving back. Wanting to raise their new baby in Seattle."

 **Seattle Washington: BPOV**

What the fuck was that? I wondered glaring at Edward. What was he thinking bringing up the past? Trying to bring Rosalie and Emmett to the bachelor party. I knew that by bringing up the past he had as much to lose as I did. So what was he trying to do? And Rose and Emmett. We had all been such good friends. But after everything that happened…and the secrets they kept from me…. The table was silent for a few minutes before Jasper spoke up.

"So Bells I have a proposition for you." Jasper says trying to cut the obvious tension, even though he didn't understand it.

"Sure Jasper, lay it on me." I say trying not to look as pissed off as I felt.

"So my company has a big project coming up. And they need a freelance marketing team to help them with their campaign. I told my boss that you were home for a month, and that you are great at what you do. So he wants you to go talk to him. And my boss said that if he likes your work, which I know he will, he will start up a marketing department in the company. And you would be running the whole thing." He says excitedly.

I look at him shocked. I had always dreamed about being the head of my own marketing department. But would I be able to leave New York? After all, living in New York had always been my dream. And could I leave all of my friends…My company to come home?

As if he was reading my thoughts, Jasper continues. "I know your life is in New York, Bells. And it will be a huge change. But just think about it will you? It's a big opportunity. And I know you have always dreamed about being the head of your own department. And think about it. You'll be able to travel. All over the United States. And we are a huge company. So you'll eventually be making enough money that you could probably have a second home in New York if you want."

I sit back in my seat. "Wow it sounds like a great opportunity, Jazz. Its definitely something I'll have to think about." I look over at Jake. He is quiet, and I know that it is probably not a good sign. I sigh. I know that it would be a huge change. But I knew I had to do what was right for me. I couldn't let my relationship with him dictate my life. I had done it before, and look where that landed me.

Jake continues to be quiet throughout the rest of our meal, and when others try to include him in conversations, he gives them one word answers. I look at him pissed off. I know he was upset, and it was something we had to talk about, but he had no right to act this way. To treat my friends like this.

We decide to go to the bar next door, and even if it wasn't the best time I decide that we are going to talk about this. I knew we needed to get this all out in the open. So as soon as we walk in the door I tell everyone that we are going to the bar to get drinks. When we get there I turn around and glare at him.

"What the hell, Jake? I know your pissed off about this job thing. And I get it. But I haven't even accepted the offer yet! I was planning to talk to you about it first before I even thought about doing it. So you had no reason to act the way you just did. They are my family Jake. I have known them for a really long time. So you had no right to treat them that way. If you want to be angry, be angry at me." I let out a breath at the end of my rant.

"First of all, they aren't your family. Your family is your dad, Charlie. And I know this is just an excuse Bella. Your freaked out. About what I said earlier. Because our relationship has changed. I thought you were finally getting serious about us, and that our relationship was important to you. But its obvious to me now that you are not sure whether you can see a future with me. Just admit it. The asshole you dated before broke your heart so badly that your afraid to be in a relationship. So you have to move back to Seattle to get away from me. But damn it, Bella. I am never going to hurt you. You have to know that."

I want to feel bad, I really do. Because he thinks I have insecurities about our relationship. But he was right. I was hurt so badly by Edward, that I didn't know whether I could ever be serious about someone again. He turned me into him. And I hated him for that. "Seriously, Jake. Don't you dare tell me how I feel. You don't know. And my decision about moving has nothing to do with you! We can talk about it, but ultimately I need to make this decision for myself. I can't let you dictate my future, Jake. This is a huge opportunity. One I would be an idiot to pass up. And I really need to think about it. So I think you should go home, and cool off. And I'll see you tomorrow." I turn around to walk away. Knowing we both need some space to think about things. Before I could go anywhere though he grabs me by the wrist, almost painfully, and whirls me around. "No Bella we need to talk about this- "

"Is there a problem?" Shit. I could recognize that voice anywhere. I turn around and see Edward. He is looking at Jake's hand on my arm and he looks pissed, and ready to fight.

"This is a private conversation between me and my girlfriend, so stay out of it." He says glaring at Edward.

"I don't give a shit, if your having a private conversation. You need to take your hand off of her now." He says walking towards us, getting in Jake's face. I start to panic. Because the last thing I need right now is for them to get into a fight…here… in a crowded bar. I put my hand on both of their chests pushing them back.

"Stop. Now." I say between clenched teeth. "People are watching. And you are grown men. So start acting like it." I turn to Jake. "Jake don't you dare put your hands on me like that ever again. I don't care how pissed off you are at me. You have no right to do that. And go home… now. I'll call you tomorrow when you have cooled down."

"Bella, I am not leaving you like this." He says sounding apologetic.

"I will call you tomorrow." I say with a tone of finality.

"I am not leaving you here with _him._ " He spits out looking at Edward. Edward is glaring at him right back and I am panicking. Hoping I can find a way to diffuse the tension. Before I can say anything though Alice comes over.

"Bells, what the hell is going on?" When I see her, I sigh in relief.

"See Alice is here now, and I am going to spend time with her. Please Jake go home. I will call you tomorrow." Knowing he wouldn't win he says fine, and then kisses me on the cheek before leaving.

'What the hell is wrong with you, Edward?" Alice says turning towards him. "Almost going to blows with her boyfriend? Have you lost your damn mind? You lost your right a long time ago to do things like that."

"Al, I got this. Can you give us a minute? Please?" I look at her pleadingly. She looks at me hesitant to leave us alone.

"I'll be fine I promise." After looking to make sure I am really fine, she nods her head and turns around, heading back to the table. Then I grab Edward by the arm bringing him into the hall of the bar.

What the fuck was that Edward? God why were the guys in my life so immature? I was so frustrated and confused. "You can't do that. You can't come in and try to defend me like that. Almost coming to blows with my boyfriend. You lost the right to do that kind of thing a long time ago. And you promised me…you fucking promised me you would let this go. I thought you could let this go…" I said willing myself not to cry in front of him.

"I'm sorry ok? I thought I could. But I can't…god I am so fucked up." He says running his hand through his hair. And starts pacing back and forth obviously agitated. "This whole situation… is fucked up. I saw him put his hands on you, and I just snapped ok? I am not rational when it comes to you. Or whenever I am around you. I make stupid mistakes. Because regardless of everything, I am still always going to be there for you. And not let you get hurt. But at the same time I have a girlfriend. Who I should be focusing all of my attention on…but I am not." He runs his hand through his hair. "God, I am tired of trying to hide how I feel…I fucking miss you ok? I don't understand how you don't know… don't get that I fucking miss you?" He looks up at me, a look of desperation in his eyes. I have never seen him like this. So vulnerable and open. And I can't help but think…why now? Why is he saying this now? When just an hour ago I had decided that my future lies with Jake. Regardless of our fight, I knew Jake would want me to follow my dreams, even if it meant that I ended up coming back to Seattle. He would probably follow me here. Because that was the kind of guy he was.

He keeps talking oblivious to my inner turmoil. "And I can't stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try. Do you think it is easy for me? Seeing you with another guy? I mean what do you see in him anyways? He is a dick, Bella. Which make sense because you have always had terrible taste in men. But I mean damn it, Bella…how do you not know? How do you not know how I feel about you?" He says pacing in front of me again.

And there it was. Everything I needed to hear…but five years too late. I should have been happy…but I wasn't. Because neither of us were single… And our significant others were right in the other room…It was the absolute worst timing of all. Suddenly my life had become all about timing. It was all of the right things said at the wrong time…My ex boyfriend telling me how he felt five years too late. Right when I was about to plan a future with someone else.

Where was this five years ago? When I asked him to tell me how he felt? Why couldn't he say this to me back then? It would have saved us from a hell of a lot of pain. I had no idea what to do with this information. Because now it was too late...

And I didn't know whether what he was telling me was the truth or if it was another game… Because everything he was saying…sounded like pretty words to me. Him trying to turn me back into the naïve little girl that fell for his lies and games…thinking I could become that girl again…and I didn't know if I could really believe what he was saying to me anymore. So instead I went on the defense…like I always did when I was confused and angry.

I turn around looking at him angrily. Taking out all my anger and hurt on him. "You don't get to do this to me again, Edward. You don't get to tell me this now, that I am with someone else. You don't get to jerk me around again. And really, your going to keep insulting Jake? You are really going to continue to go there? Your going to act like you have any right to be pissed at me for having a boyfriend? For fuck sakes…you starting dating someone only _months_ after we broke up. When I was so devastated by our break up that I couldn't even function let alone even _think_ about being with someone else…you had already moved on and stared dating someone new."

He looks at me in confusion. And I start to wonder if I had the wrong information. He starts to open his mouth to speak again but deciding I need to get it all out, I continue.

"And you don't miss me…you miss your naive fuck buddy… the one who would always come crawling back to you…no matter the shit that you did…because our connection was too strong to fight. But I am not that naïve girl anymore. And I don't think I can ever believe anything that comes out of your mouth ever again. Because I know that it is all lies." I say vehemently.

He looks at me confused. "Beautiful I made a mistake back then"-

"Don't you dare…" I said angrily shouting at him. Not caring at this point if anyone heard us. And definitely not caring if his precious girlfriend heard all of the lies and despicable things he did. Because frankly he didn't know how to be in a relationship. And I don't think he ever would. "Don't you dare call me that," I said holding my hand out as he was reaching for me. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to try to comfort me after everything. And you don't get to act like it is old times again. Calling me the nickname that you gave me when we were together.

"And you certainly don't get to call what you did a mistake, Edward. You were fucking engaged! While you and I were together. And you never had the decency to tell me the truth. I had to fucking find out about it accidently from your parents! Not from you…or my friends…but your parents! And the way your dad practically threw it in my face…" I close my eyes and rub my temples. "I mean god… How do you think that made me feel?" I said finally letting out all of the hurt and anger I was feeling.

He looks at me devastated…almost like it was painful to talk about it…

"B, we went over this. I wanted to tell you the truth so many times, believe me. But it was never the right time. There never really is a right time to tell someone that. But I am sorry you had to find out that way. I was a coward ok? I admit it. I was too afraid of losing you to tell you the truth. And you know its more complicated then that…I tried to explain it to you back then. But you wouldn't listen... And it didn't exactly stop you from sleeping with me, did it?" He says.

I slap him, hard. How dare he throw that in my face? Regardless of how we felt about each other back then I was still a cheater. And I hated myself for it. "So now it's my fault?" I say putting my hand to my chest. "I should have let you explain something that for all I knew could have been another lie? And there is no explanation…no excuse that you could ever give me that could make what you did to me ok. You lied to me! Made me think we were something we weren't. Made me believe we were going somewhere. That we were something real. When in the end it never was going to go anywhere because you planned to marry someone else!

Bella you know it was nothing…she meant nothing. I was doing it for my mom… she- "

"Because being engaged means nothing? Are you kidding me with this shit? It doesn't matter how you felt about the girl. You were getting married. And nothing was ever going to change that. Or be able to happen between us again. We weren't going anywhere. And we didn't have a future. It was over from the moment I found out you were engaged." And this is exactly why we would never work... ever again. Because he was still trying to make excuses and act like we weren't wrong… for what he did…what we did…even five years later.

"And are we over now, B? He says starting to walk towards me.

I stare at him frozen. Because I have no idea how to answer that question. Were we over? It certainly didn't feel that way. Not when we found ourselves in this position almost every single time we were in a room alone together. When he gets closer to me I start to come to my senses. No…I couldn't do this. Not to Jake…and not to myself…I couldn't go down this road with him again. Because there would be too much heartbreak and destruction in our wake. At this realization I start to back up until I hit the wall. He continues walking towards me though and I realize I am trapped. When he gets close enough, I put my hand on his chest. Stopping him from coming any closer. I couldn't think straight when he was so close to me. And I knew exactly what was about to happen. I couldn't do this. Not now…not after what just happened. Not when Jake had declared earlier today how much he loved me…and how much he thought about our future. I couldn't do this to him.

"Edward we can't do this." I say not being able to look him in the eye. Knowing that if I did I would give in again. And I knew I couldn't. I wasn't this girl anymore. I wasn't weak and naïve…

"Bella look at me," he says his voice pleading with me. "Please," his voice taking on the sound of desperation.

He lifts my chin until my eyes meet his. "Its not over, beautiful. Not by a long shot." He then pulls me towards him by the waist, into an earth shattering kiss. And all of those feelings…everything I had been trying to bury since coming back to Seattle…and by being with Jake… came back…full force. This was nothing like the kiss that first night at the bar. It was so different. Full of sparks…electricity…and love? At first I try to resist him. Putting my hand on his chest, pushing him back, "and saying fuck you." Putting my arms up as if to protect myself. And that was exactly what I was doing. After all nothing was ever going to come out of this. And I was going to end up back where I started. I should have walked away at that moment I pushed him back. Told him this was never going to happen. Walked out of the hallway and went back to celebrating with my best friend. Or called my boyfriend and told him that I wanted to plan a future with him too.

But I couldn't. He looks at me, his eyes so wild and full of lust and he pulls me back to him, by the arms, kissing me again. And I give in. Like I do every time. I feel myself relax into him and suddenly I find myself kissing him back, running my hands through his hair. As soon as I kiss him back, he is walking me towards the bathroom, and pushes me inside with him. Then he turns me around, and slams me into the door. He reaches over to the side and locks the door, kissing my neck as he does so. I close my eyes and lean my head back giving him better access. I feel him smirk, and he begins to run his teeth against my jawline. I moan. He still knows me so well. When he reaches my ear he whispers, "You still haven't answered me, B. Does it feel like we are over?" He asks, putting his hand on my ass, and grinding into me, in the place I needed him the most. My eyes roll in the back of my head and I know I am lost. He pulls back to look at me, and when I look up at him with hooded eyes he smirks. Because he knows he has me, no matter how hard I try to fight it. But I wasn't going down without a fight. So I put my hand between us and I rub him through his jeans. He leans forward resting his forehead on my shoulder and he moans.

"Not so cocky now are we, Edward?" I say whispering in his ear. "But I do want you. I am tired of trying to fight it." At this declaration, and knowing he was vulnerable, I turn him so he is against the wall, and I grab his shirt kissing him. And whatever control I was trying to have over the situation was lost. Because this kiss? It reminded me of what it was like back then. That all of the chemistry and passion…and sparks we had never went away. Suddenly, his hands and mouth are everywhere and I rake my hands through his scalp and moan his name. He turns me around then and slams me back into the door. He then hooks my leg over his hip and grinds into me. I moaned at the sensation. And all hell breaks lose. Because we are kissing and grinding and there is pulling and tugging of hair…both of us desperate for more…and it is chaos. It was too much and not enough at the same time. He presses against me harder and I know that we are both close. I know where this is about to lead. And while there are a million reasons why it was a bad idea, I was too locked in this lust filled haze to think clearly.

I hear continuous knocking on the door, and the sound of drunken women yelling and I freeze. And everything crashes down on me. I look around and realize where we are and what we were about to do. What the fuck was I thinking? And how could I do this to Jake? It was too much. And I needed space. So I push him away, and run my hand through my hair. I look down at my phone and see that I have missed calls from Alice.

The knocking stops and its obvious that the women have given up. I look up and see Edward staring at me.

"Alice called me," I say looking everywhere but at him. "We have to go, before anyone comes looking for us." My voice sounds hard...hallow…even to my own ears. But that was the way it had to be. I couldn't do this with him, ever again.

"Yeah…right….whatever." He says coldly, and I look up at him. He is avoiding my gaze too.

I wanted to feel guilty. For walking away like I did. But my obligation wasn't to him. I didn't owe him anything…

I walk out the bathroom door and lean against the wall. This was becoming too much. I couldn't face them again. My best friend who warned me away from him…or _his_ girlfriend. Thinking he was the perfect boyfriend. So instead I run out the bar. Needing air.

What have I done? I cheated on Jake. Did the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do. I knew I couldn't tell Alice, because she was getting married. So regardless of her feelings about Kate I knew she wouldn't understand. And I keep thinking back to what she said before. How I keep running back to him over and over again. Expecting things to be different…expecting not to get hurt…but they never are different…and I am always so broken afterwards… So I call the one person who gets it. Who will listen and not judge me…because she had been through it too.

"Hey T can you come visit this weekend?" I ask her as soon as she picked up the phone. Damn it was I crazy? Thinking it would be a good idea to come back to Seattle? I knew this was a great opportunity for me. But It would just make everything so much harder. Harder for me to move on. To erase what I had just done. But then I remind myself that I couldn't let a guy dictate my future. That I couldn't let him be the reason that I don't follow my dreams.

"Bells are you there," Tanya asked in a worried voice. I shake my head clearing my thoughts. I must have gotten lost in the memories again. Completely forgetting where I was.

"Yeah I am here, sorry," I say running my hands over my face. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Is everything, Ok, B?" Is there a reason you want me to come this weekend?" She asks. I sigh. She always knows when something is wrong. I didn't want to get into all of the details…and I knew exactly what she would say if I told her we kissed… and almost…I shake my head. Thinking that if I pretended that it didn't happen that maybe I could forget. I decide to give her the short version.

"Yeah I'm fine…this… was just harder then I thought. I say leaning against my car looking up at the sky. "It's just being here…seeing him…everything is coming back. I thought I was over him. I thought I had moved on…but that connection…those feelings…they never went away. And I don't know what to do with them." I run my hand through my hair. "And worst of all I think Jake is being to get suspicious that something is going on." I let out a deep breath waiting for her to say something. Finally, after a long moment she speaks.

"B, did something happen with you guys since you got there? You can tell me…I promise I wont judge. I just need to know so I can help."

I sigh. "We…kissed last night. And today…god I made a huge mistake. I don't know how it happened…it just…did."

 **A/n: Thanks for reading! And I'll see you soon :)**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

 **A/n: Hey everyone! I apologize for the delay. Thanks as always for all of the reviews/favorites/follows! Especially the reviews. I really do appreciate them, and take them into consideration when I am writing :)**

 **Warning: There is a reference to abuse in this chapter, although there are no explicit details about it. If this triggers something for you, feel free to skip it. But it does have importance to the story.**

 _Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile, and she will be loved, and she will be loved- Maroon 5 "She will Be Loved."_

After making arrangements for Tanya to come visit, I stand against the wall for a second willing my self to go back in. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I was too stressed and too drained to deal with this anymore. Why was it that he could only tell me the things that he did when we were both drunk? Why was it that despite his un-wavering self confidence, he couldn't ever just tell me how he felt? It couldn't be because he was afraid that I wouldn't feel the same right? Everything I said about being over him was a lie. How could he believe me? How could he believe that I was over him? That I didn't love him? I feel like I have been in love with him my whole life. Even if it had only been 7 years. He had been a huge part of my life for such a long time. Even when we were just friends.

It wasn't fair what he was doing. Constantly jerking me around. And we always ended up here… exactly where and how we started. Tanya was right. I did always do this. Run to Edward when I was having doubts about my other relationships. That's what it had to be…right?

I walk back into the bar knowing I would have to face the firing squad sooner or later. I was not looking forward to the inquisition that Alice was going to give me or having to deal with Edward again…pretending like what had happened…didn't. And I didn't want to watch him be happy with his girlfriend…after what we just did. When I approach the table Alice looks up at me worried. I smile at her, hoping that she would believe that I was ok. I refused to look at Edward…or his girlfriend. I knew if I did it would make everything so much harder then it already was. And that I would feel guilty for what we just did.

"You ok, Bells?" Jasper asks me seeing my face, and looking up at me worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks Jazz." I say smiling at him. I look over at Alice and she has her eyebrow raised. I shake my head telling her I don't want to talk about it, and then I sit down next to her.

"Where is your boyfriend, Bells?" I hear Kate ask me. I close my eyes. Shit. What the hell was that? _So much for being able to avoid them_. And when the hell did she think she had the right to call me by the nickname my _friends_ called me? I fight off the urge I have to smack her, and instead with a smile on my face, I turn towards her.

"He had to leave, something came up." I hear a snort, and I look over at Edward glaring at him. Really, he thought that what happened tonight was funny?

"Awe really? That's too bad!" She says with a look of sympathy on her face, although I wasn't sure how real it was. She then turns to Edward. "I'll be right back; baby I have to go to the bathroom." She says kissing him on the cheek, and then getting up.

I sigh. And that was why I didn't want to come back. Because it was difficult to see that. Her kissing him, claiming him, after we just did.

Alice wraps her arm around my shoulder, and then slides a shot over to me, knowing I needed it. Then she gives me a look telling me we are going to talk about it later. After downing the shot, I tell her I need to leave.

"We should all go. We have a busy couple of days coming up with the dress fitting, and the bachelorette party on Saturday. Bells your coming over tomorrow right? To help me with the gift bags?" I close my eyes, and mumble, "shit."

"Shit, Al. I forgot that I told Jake I would spend the evening with him tomorrow." I almost forgot that Edward was in the room until I feel him glaring at me. "But I can cancel and do it another day."

"No Bells it's fine." She says understanding. "You need to spend time with your boyfriend. "Ohhh" …She says slapping me repeatedly on the arm, and almost vibrating in her chair. "How about this. You could come over, drop off an overnight bag, and I can help you get ready. Then after your date, you can come back over, and we can have a sleepover just like we did in college! We could watch girly movies, drink margaritas, and talk about things." She said raising her eyebrows. Although the last thing I wanted was to talk about what had happened, or spend the night in the same place that Edward was going to be, I knew I should spend time with Alice. After all, we may not have much more time to spend together if I decide to go back to New York. I would always try to come visit her when I was in New York, but I didn't get to talk to her as much as I wanted to. And I knew we both needed our best friends right now.

"That sounds like fun, Al." I say smiling at her.

"Yay!" She says jumping up and down, and hugging me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bells."

"Bye, Bells." Jasper says hugging me.

 **Next day, Present day, Seattle Washington**

 **EPOV**

I hear the doorbell ring, and I go to answer it. Jasper and Alice had been occupied in their room all afternoon. Doing god knows what. I shudder not wanting to think about it. All I knew was they had been in their room for hours, and all I had heard was giggling, so I tried to avoid their room as much as possible. I go to the door and answer it. _Bella._

She is at the door, her hair wet, obviously having just taken a shower, and she is in yoga pants and a tank top. But she has never looked more beautiful. My best memories of Bella had always been when she just woke up in the morning in my bed. Her hair in a bun on the top of her head, no makeup on, and in my shirt. She was so naturally beautiful, that I was always in such awe of her.

When Alice had mentioned the sleepover the night before, I had thought that this would be the perfect opportunity for us to finally talk. To get everything out in the open. I know she would try to avoid me, but we needed to do this. We couldn't avoid each other forever. And we couldn't keep doing this back and forth. She had been right last night. It wasn't fair to either of us. I am taken out of my memories, when I see Bella raising her eyebrow at me, probably wondering why I am staring at her.

"Can I come in?" She asks me questioningly.

I shake my head. "Yeah of course come in." I open the door, and gesture her in. I take a moment to check her out, and damn. She was more beautiful than any other girl I have been with. As if she sensed I was still staring at her, which she probably did, she turned around and looked at me for a second. And I start to think maybe this is the perfect opportunity to lay it all out there. I open my mouth to speak but she beats me to it.

"Where is Alice?" She asks me questioningly, begging me with her eyes to not bring up last night.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. It's clear she doesn't want to talk about it tonight. But I am done hiding how I feel. Even if it's the last thing she wants to hear.

"She is upstairs. But listen B, about last night- "

"Bells you are finally here!" Alice says as she is coming down the stairs. I close my eyes. I need to find time when we can be alone, and not surrounded by other people. I give her a look. Telling her that we will be talking about this later. She looks at me uncomfortably, but she gives no indication that she heard me.

"Come upstairs we have work to do Bells!" She says grabbing her by the arm and dragging her up the stairs….

After trying to do work for a couple of hours to keep my mind off of things, I finally give up. Not being able to concentrate or keep my mind off of what had happened last night. Or the fact that she was about to go on a date with someone who wasn't… me. I guess I should be used to it by now, her going on dates with other guys. After all she had done it before. But I wasn't. And I didn't think I ever would be. I walk down stairs into the kitchen, and pour myself a drink…down it…and then pour myself another.

"Hey man what are you doing?" I turn and see Jasper looking at the drink in my hand, and then at me.

"Just having a drink…Want one?" I ask him gesturing towards the bottle.

"Sure." He shrugs and then walks to the cabinet pulling out a glass. When he returns, I pour him a drink. We are silent for a second, and I try to keep myself from focusing on what was going on upstairs. When I hear Bella's laugh though, I look up at the ceiling, sigh, and then down my drink again. They had been playing loud music, and laughing loudly for an hour now. And it was torture. Knowing she is doing this for someone else. Knowing she is going on a date with someone else… And it just serves as a reminder that once again she doesn't want to be with me…and that she isn't mine. I tried to tell her the truth last night. Let her know that I missed her and wanted to be with her. But it wasn't enough. And I started to wonder if anything I did would ever be enough. How could she not believe me last night? How could she not know that I regretted everything that happened with us. Not telling her about Irina sooner. Letting her be lied to, not only by me, but by her friends too. I guess I couldn't blame her though. I betrayed her trust. Played on her insecurities. Time and time again. Made her think I didn't want her. After everything she went through with her mom. And I made her think I wanted to be with other women. But it wasn't true. It had always been her. Even from the beginning. I tried to fight it. Tried to be with other women. But none of them ever compared to her. They never even came close. I felt like I would always be here, on the outside. Watching her be happy with someone else. But I had no one else to blame but myself. And now she was going to end up with someone else. No matter how much they hurt her. And no matter how wrong they were for her. She would always end up with the wrong guy.

Being brought out of my thoughts I look at Jasper. He is studying me with a concerned look on his face. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. Jasper has always had the uncanny ability to read my thoughts. Ever since we were kids. And I knew that he could sense that something was wrong. After a minute he speaks.

"So what is going on with you, and Bella?" He asks looking at me with his eyebrows raised.

I sigh. I guess it was something we wouldn't be able to hide from everyone forever. I turn around and look at him, feeling guilty for having to lie to him for so long. I knew he was going to hate me. Once I told him everything. Once I let him know how much I hurt her. But maybe that had to happen. Maybe everything needed to be out in the open. It was the only way to save my friendship with Jasper in the long run. And show Bella that I had changed. That I wasn't going to keep us a secret anymore, like I did back when we were together. I open my mouth to speak but he interrupts me.

"You guys knew each other in college right? You were friends? But you wanted to be more with her?" I look at him shocked that he guessed it... At least partly. But I mean we weren't exactly subtle all of the times we were thrown together lately. All of the heated arguments, and conversations we have had at the bar. I wouldn't be surprised if Kate…or Jake were starting to catch on and get suspicious. And that is probably why Kate is acting the way she was. Jealous and insecure. And pretending like she wants to be friends with Bella. I open my mouth to tell Jasper the truth. To lay it all out there. But he starts to speak again.

He waves his hand at me, and shakes his head. "It's cool, Ed. You don't have to explain. Some bad shit obviously happened between you guys, and you didn't want to talk about it. And that's why I didn't know. It's fine…really. I just don't get why everyone lied to me."

It was funny that he only thought we were friends. Maybe he didn't know Bella like he thought he did. But he knew me. And knew how I was. And he obviously didn't think she would have ever dated me. _Which was true. We weren't really dating_. Or that she wouldn't have given in to the cocky asshole that I was. I sigh feeling guilty. Jasper and I have been friends for so long, and I hated that I had to lie to him…That I had to hurt him like that.

"We didn't want to lie to you, Jazz. It's just…" I sigh running my hand through my hair "the last time we saw each other, Bella and I weren't exactly on the best of terms. _At least that part was true…_ And we didn't want to bring up any of the drama from the past because it is your wedding. And all of the focus should be on you guys. But it was more than that too. I don't think either of us wanted our significant others to know that we knew each other back then. It was way too hard for both of us to bring up the past. Or talk about the past."

I needed to finally tell him the truth. Tell him everything. Dating her…sleeping with her…and the night I broke her heart. Because I felt guilty. And honestly he deserved to know. Before I can though I hear the click of heels on the marble floor, and I knew I was in trouble. She turns the corner and walks into the kitchen…and I open my mouth in shock…because there she was…looking more beautiful and sexy than I had ever seen a women look. It is silent for a few minutes as I stare at Bella. Blinking a few times to make sure she was real. Finally, … _finally_ …she looks over at me, probably realizing I was staring at her because that's all I seemed to be able to do around her. She looks at me with fear in her eyes. Was she afraid of the way I was looking at her? _God I wish I could read your mind you insanely beautiful girl._ I had always been good at knowing what girls wanted, _mostly to get with me,_ but with her…nothing. And it had always been like that.

Suddenly my look of awe, turns into irrational anger. Because she was dressed like this…for an asshole…who almost hurt her last night. I think back to the night before, and how he grabbed her. His fingers digging into her arm, probably leaving a mark. Had he grabbed her like that before? And how could she think it was ok? After what that asshole did to her 7 years ago? How could she want to be with someone like that over me? When I am brought out of my thoughts, I hear them talking about her plans for her date. And I knew this was my last chance to warn her away from him. To try to get her to understand how much of an asshole he was. It wasn't jealousy, entirely, that was behind this. I was genuinely worried. So I finally speak up.

"B, can I talk to you for a second." I say, my voice sounding harsh even to my own ears. She looks at me for a second, and glares. Probably knowing nothing good was going to come out of this conversation.

"Edward, now really isn't the time." She says, begging, and pleading with her eyes, to let this go. But I wasn't going to let it go. And maybe if Jasper knew how he treated her last night, he would help me kick his ass.

"B, the way he treated you last night"- But before I could say anything more, the doorbell rings. And I realized I missed my chance for now to warn her away from him. I close my eyes and sigh. Alice had gone to get the door, and Bella and I continued to stare at each other. Jasper looks between us questioningly wondering what the hell was going on. But then Alice walks in, with Jake in tow. He says hi to everyone, and then when Jake finally catches sigh of Bella, he walks over to her and picks her up spinning her around. She squeals and he sets her down kissing her, and telling her how beautiful she looks. I roll my eyes because I realize that this was him trying to lay down his claim on her. He definitely had to know more than he was leting on.

"You ready to go, babe?" He asks her, his arms still around her waist. She nods her head and he grabs her hand walking her towards the door. Finally, in a last ditch effort to claim control over the situation I call out, "What time are you going to be home, Bella?" But instead of an answer she flicks me off, and follows him out the door. And I am pissed. Because all I was trying to do was help her. But this time I wasn't going to give up, because I knew what could happen. The kitchen is silent for a brief moment until Alice finally breaks the silence.

"I am going to pick some things up for our girl's night. I will see you guys later." She says still glaring at me for the way I treated Bella. She skips over to Jasper and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Then she walks out the door after Bella.

When the girls leave, Jasper turns back around and looks at me. I open my mouth to explain myself for my dickish behavior. But before I can Jasper speaks up. "Let's not talk about it anymore, Ed. How about we call the guys, and go out for a drink. You look like you need it." He says slapping me on the back.

And this was why Jasper and I were such good friends. Because he knew how to let shit go. And how to not let it bother him. I laugh at his comment, because what he said… it was true. "Sounds good, let me grab my stuff."

A few hours later Jasper, the guys, and I were sitting at the bar watching sports. I was trying to have fun being out with Jazz and the guys. Really I was. Normally I was the life of the party. The one who always wanted to do the crazy shit. But my mind kept going back to Bella. And how similar this situation was to what happened 7 years ago. Me, drinking, and thinking about her…wondering how her date was going….

 **Flashback 2009**

"Last chance to cancel," I say leaning against the bar as she is setting the tables and getting ready for the day. Today was her first date…with an asshole. I tried to warn her he wasn't good for her. That he was shady…and an asshole…but she wasn't going to listen. And although it killed me…I was going to have to let her find out for herself. I see her roll her eyes at me, and then she turns around looking at me.

"I told you before. I don't want to cancel. I actually like this guy. And didn't you just yesterday, tell me that you didn't give a shit? That I could do whatever I wanted?"

That had been a mistake…an asshole move, on my part. She had come to me. Asking what was going on between us. Why I was so opposed to her going out with Riley. Begging me without words to tell her how I felt about her. And I panicked. Like the coward I was. So I told her I didn't give a shit who she went out with. And what she did. The look she gave me…god… Her face fell. She was so hurt and confused. Wondering what the hell was going on. Why I was stringing her on like this. Why I was being so callous. When I saw her face I immediately regretted what I said. Knowing it was going to blow up in my face. Knowing that she had every reason to hurt me back. And she did. By practically throwing it in my face. By telling him to pick her up at the restaurant that we both worked at for their date…that was exactly what she was doing.

"B, I"-

"Hey guys, is everything done?" Rosalie asks, coming up behind us. I close my eyes, frustrated that I was once again interrupted. We never had alone time together. Whenever I asked her to hangout, she would always invite other people along. I didn't know why she wouldn't just hangout with me alone. Was it hard for her too? To hangout and not have it be more? Damn I was beginning to sound like a girl. Overanalyzing everything. Wondering whether the girl I had a thing for, had the same feelings for me.

I turn around facing Rosalie. "Yeah, everything is ready."

"Cool." She turns to Bella. "So Riley, huh?" She asks raising her eyebrows at Bella. I roll my eyes, annoyed. She had let me down. I fully expected that when Rosalie found out about Riley that she would refuse. Saying that it was a bad idea. She was overprotective of Bella. Practically like an older sister to her. So I figured the age thing would bother her. What I didn't expect was that she would be just as excited as Alice. And that she would want to go shopping with them to pick out the perfect outfit for her _date._ She ended up not being able to go, because of work, so it was the first time she was actually able to talk about it with her. And of course it was in front of me. I wanted to walk away. Because the last thing I wanted was to hear about her going out with another guy. But my curiosity got the best of me.

"Yeah." She says smiling and blushing.

"Damn, girl you must really like him! You are blushing." She says slapping her lightly with a towel. "I don't blame you though one bit, girl. He is hot. And smart, funny, and genuinely a good guy. I am impressed." I roll my eyes. Because he wasn't a good guy. Although we were never friends we ran in some of the same circles. And the way he treated women. I sigh. But there was nothing I could do…she was a stubborn girl. Who thought she could take care of herself. Something I both loved…and hated about her.

Not being able to take it anymore I pull my phone out trying to ignore them. I had wanted to know. But I didn't think knowing would feel like this…. What the hell was going on with me? I was Edward fucking Cullen. I could have any girl I wanted. So why was I so focused…so worried…about _her?_ Deciding I needed to get my mind off of everything I start scrolling through the names on my phone. Ashley…Britney…Summer…until I get to Victoria's name. I smile. Bingo…fucking bingo… She had been one of the best lays I had ever had… _next to Bella of course although I didn't want to admit it…_ and I knew we could have a good time. Deep down I also knew that Bella hated Victoria…and that was just an added bonus...smiling, I press send. "Hey, Victoria…what are you doing tonight?" …

After making plans to hangout later, I finally get off the phone. I turn around and see Rosalie looking at me pissed off.

"Victoria, Edward? Fucking really? She may be my employee, and trust me that is only because her father is invested in the restaurant, but she is dumb. And a whore. What the fuck are you thinking? You will get a disease just by touching her." She says scrunching her nose and looking disgusted. I look over at Bella, and she is silent and has been silent since I got off the phone with Victoria.

"Jealous, Rose?" I ask looking back at her raising my eyebrows. She just rolls her eyes at me and says, "Yeah like I would be jealous of your whores."

I laugh. "I just think it's funny that your so interested in my love life. That has to mean something right?" I say smirking at her. I hear a noise from Bella and I look over at her. She is looking away from me though, trying to avoid my gaze.

"Nothing to say, Bells?" I ask her sarcastically, hoping to get a rise out of her.

She looks at me, and there is a look that passes over her face. Almost like she is hurt. But she clears it quickly, and her face hardens, "Not at all." She said shaking her head. "Like I said before. You and I are just friends. So you can do whatever the hell you want…and so can I."

My face hardens and I scowl at her. I wish I could have pretending it didn't kill me. Didn't gut me that she pretty much just dismissed me. Confirmed that she didn't want me. After all I had pretty much said the same thing to her earlier. And I was Edward Cullen. The guy who had girls lining up to be with me…but it would be a lie. Because as much as I tried to deny the connection…the pull we had towards each other…I couldn't. And I couldn't stand to see her with anyone else. I felt like I have been punched in the gut. And I knew I had to get out of there before I said something I regretted. I knew it was stupid to be this pissed off about it. After all we were just friends. And we could never be more then friends. But she killed me, without even trying to. Without speaking I clenches my fist and stalks back to the bar. I pause a few times, wanting to say something to her…anything, to make her feel the hurt I was feeling… but instead I just shook my head, and chuckled harshly before continuing to walk to the other side of the bar…

As I stand behind the bar I see Rosalie rolls her eyes, obviously used to my moodiness, and she turns back to Bella. And unfortunately I can still hear every bit of their conversation.

"You are leaving around lunch time right? To go on your date?" She asks with a smirk on her face.

"That is the plan," she says.

"Where is he taking you?"

"I think Pike Place Market for lunch. And then on his boat after." I snort. _Fucking cocky ass motherfucker…_

After they finish their conversation Rose walks over to me, pissed off. "What the fuck was that, Edward?" She said hitting me hard on the shoulder with the towel.

"Ow, shit Rose that hurts!" I say rubbing my shoulder.

"You are such a dick, Cullen. Why are you doing this to her? Stay out of her love life, Edward. You both agreed that you were just going to be friends. And you have said more than enough times that you aren't capable of being in a relationship. And we both know that it is true. So just be her friend. You aren't good for her. She needs to be with someone who is capable of being in a relationship. So I repeat. Stay away from her." She says putting her hand on her hips and looking at me pissed off.

"Look Rose, I am just trying to protect her. Riley…he isn't a good guy. He is a player. I know that he has convinced you and Emmett that he is a good guy…but I have seen another side to him."

She rolls her eyes at me, obviously not believing what I was saying. "First of all, it is pretty hypocritical of you to be saying that about Riley, especially since you are still out there fucking every woman that moves. _Come on Rose I wasn't that bad…._ "And secondly, Bella is like a little sister to Em. So don't you think that if he really was a bad guy, Emmett would let her go on a date with him? Stop cock blocking her, Edward. It isn't fair. Put your jealousy aside for one minute, and let her be happy." She finishes her rant, and raises her eyebrow at me when I laugh.

"I am not jealous, Rose." _What a fucking liar I was…_ She looks at me disbelievingly, and rolls her eyes.

"Ok, Edward, say whatever you want to try to convince me and everyone else. But I see the way you look at her. You don't look at any of your other _girls_ that same way."

"I am just trying to be her friend, and protect her from an asshole, Rose. That's it. Nothing more. I don't know what kind of made up bullshit you have going on in your head, but I don't see her that way."

"Who are you trying to convince of that, Edward? Me or yourself?" She asks, smirking at me. Knowing she had me, she walks away. Damn. I needed to get better at hiding my emotions…

I spent the rest of the morning trying to avoid Bella... knowing that if I didn't avoid her I would end up taking out all of my anger and frustration out on her. And that it would only make things worse. So instead I tried distracting myself. Flirting with the customers, and talking with the guys. However, by early afternoon, when the crowd died down, I was back to being agitated, pacing back and forward, and thinking about Bella and Riley together on a loop. Finally, I decided that if Rosalie wouldn't listen to me, maybe I could knock some sense into Emmett. With that in mind I walked into Emmett's office.

"Hey man, is there anything you need help with? Crowd is kind of dead out there." I ask him pacing back and forth, and running my hands through my hair. Emmett looks up at me, and he immediately raises his eyebrows. I must have looked as pissed off as I felt…

"Nah man it's cool. People are probably staying away because of the rain. But it's supposed to clear up in an hour or so. Why don't you take a break? You look like you could use one." He says looking at me knowingly.

I roll my eyes at him. "What the hell does that mean, Emmett."

He puts his hands up. "Hey, man I am just relaying what everyone else has been saying. That have you have been in a bad mood since this morning. No particular reason for that hmmm? Anything you want to talk about? Get off your chest?" He asks, smirking at me. "And don't act like it's nothing Edward. Something… _or someone..._ has to be causing the piss poor mood that you have been in all day."

I glare at him for a second. Emmett didn't _exactly_ know what was going on between Bella and I. And I definitely didn't tell him. But I had a feeling he knew something was going on. After all he knew me better than anyone. That's why I had been so confused as to why he set her up with Riley.

"I just…" I sigh. "Don't want Bella going out with Riley."

He just laughs in response, and mutters something that sounds an awful lot like, "Fucking figures it's about her." I glare at him. Wondering what the hell was so funny.

"What the hell is so funny, Emmett?" I ask glaring at him.

"Nothing, I just think its cute that you are so concerned about little Bella. Why are you so concerned huh, Eddie? Is something more going on? Something you want to share with the class?" He asks me smirking, and wiggling his eyebrows at me. I roll my eyes.

"Emmett, I am just looking out for her. She is young, and a little naïve. And guys like Riley, they will take advantage of that. Plus, he is way to old for her. I just don't want to see her get hurt." _God I sounded pathetic. Spewing out this bullshit. And worrying about some girl that isn't even mine._ He looks at me for a second scrutinizing me.

"You know, you are a little old for her too, right, Edward?" He says laughing. He sees that I am about to protest but he continues on. "I know; you are just looking out for her. But, Ed, why do I have the feeling that you would act this way about any guy that Bells goes out with?" He asks me his eyebrow raised.

"Emmett…that's not…we aren't…I'm just looking out for my friend! She is practically like a sister to me!" I sputter out. In a desperate attempt to let him know that I don't care what she does.

He rolls his eyes at me and mutters, "Yeah, because you definitely act like she is your sister."

I ignore what he is implying. _Have I really been that obvious about my feelings…?_ Before I can protest further, I hear a knock on the door. I turn around, and in walks Bella. And I let out a ragged breath, because…damn. She was wearing a short tight fitting romper, that dipped into a v between her breast. And the blue color of her romper made her skin glow, making her look almost translucent… _Damn she was beautiful._

"Hey, Em is it okay if I take off? Riley is here." She asks nervously, avoiding my gaze. Emmett leans back in his chair and says, "Yeah of course, have fun. Eddie and I were about to go out for a drink, isn't that right, Ed?" He asks me with his eyebrows raised. But I don't bother thinking about what Emmett is saying, or the fact that he called me Eddie, because all I can do is look at Bella. And I was pissed.

Because I realized why she was dressed the way she was. I knew I had no right. No claim on her. But it didn't stop me from being jealous. "Bella, can I talk to you for a second." I say sharply. Pissed off. What the fuck is she thinking going out dressed like that? It was only going to encourage Riley more. Make him think that it was ok to take advantage of her. She looks over at me and glares.

"No, Edward. Riley is here. And I don't want to keep him waiting."

"it'll only take a second." I say through gritted teeth. She rolls her eyes at me, and I can see that despite her better judgment, that she was going to give in.

"Ed…" I hear Emmett call out, and I look back at him. He has his eyebrow raised, warning me not to piss her off, and ruin this for her. I knew it was him, trying to be an overprotective older brother to her. But I knew what I had to do. I had to protect her from Riley.

I look back at her, and finally, after several emotions pass over her face, she answers.

"Fucking, fine." But it better only be a minute." She says sounding more pissed off than I have ever seen her. I start to walk towards the backroom, and I see her following me. When we get to the door I gesture her inside, and she hesitates for a second. I roll my eyes at her.

"Bella, I just want to talk. I am not going to take advantage of you. Unless of course you want me to." He says smirking at me. She rolls her eyes and walks inside. I follow her and shut the door.

"What do you want, Edward." She says turning around to look at me, and crossing her arms.

"What the hell are you thinking going out dressed like that?" I say gesturing towards her outfit. I really should start thinking about what I say because I know it will only piss her off more, and encourage her to do things with Riley just to spite me. But I can never think rationally when it comes to this girl…

She glares at me for a second. "What the hell does that mean Edward?"

"Do you always go out on dates dressed like that?"

"Dressed like what? What exactly are you implying?"

"I am not implying anything. All I am saying is that your giving Riley, the guy who will fuck anything with a pulse, a clear signal that you want to have sex with him." I spew out venomously. It was probably bad on my part. Because I was showing that I cared way too much. But at that point, I didn't care.

"I am not doing this with you, Edward. I am not playing these games. I am going to go." She says starting to move past me. I block her path though preventing her from leaving. I wasn't going to let her go, without warning her about him.

"Look Bella," I say sighing, "I really am trying not to fuck things up for you. I do want you to be happy… _I just want you to be happy with me…._ But Riley, he isn't a good guy. He has done a lot of shady stuff. And I just don't want to see you get hurt."

She rolls her eyes, and starts moving past me. "I knew this was a mistake." She mutters to herself, and starts to move past me again. I stop her again and turn her around. And now I am fucking angry. Because all I was trying to do was protect her, and I couldn't understand why she wouldn't listen. _Beautiful stubborn little girl…._

"Look, Bella." I say sighing. "All I am asking is that you call me if anything happens. Anything at all. Please. Promise me." I look at her pleadingly. Pleading with her to put her stubbornness aside and listen to me for once.

She looks at me for a second and sighs. And I think she is about to give in. Let me be there for her, and protect her. But then she looks at me angrily.

"Honestly, Edward you are the last person I would call to help me." She spits out, and then moves past me. But this time I let her go. Because I realized I was going to have to let her make her own mistakes. And be there for her when he hurts her…because I knew he would.

She moves her hair to the side of her neck, and I hear a gasp, from Alice. "So I take it your date last night went well?" Bella turns and looks at Alice, confused.

"What the hell are you talking about Al."

'Your new, uh hum." She says pointing to her neck. "I mean, hey, I am not one to judge. But if you don't want the whole world to know, or _him_ , to know…I suggest you try to cover up that hickey on your neck, honey."

They are leaning against the bar talking, and I tried not to listen. I really did. I continue serving the drinks to my customers. Pretending I wasn't listening. Pretending I didn't care. But really I wanted to punch Riley in the face for putting his hand on her. His mouth on her. I sigh. Who was the guy, anyways? The one she wants to hide this from?

Apparently they had finished their conversation when I was lost in thought because I see her come up to me. "Hey so are you coming out with us for the fourth of July fireworks next week?" She asks me.

I glare at her. "So I take it your date went well?" I ask her sarcastically, repeating Alice's question, and ignoring what she was asking me.

"So I take it you overheard what Alice said?" She counters back at me. Then she rolls her eyes, and muttering under her breath something that sounded like damn pixie. "Look Edward, I already told you. I am not going to talk to you about Riley. It is none of your business who I go out with, and what I do on my dates."

"Are you going on a second date with him? And is he is coming to the fireworks?" I ask her, impatiently, ignoring what she said. And wanting to know more about what happened on their date.

'Why the hell do you care," she says snarkily, obviously wanting to fight with me about this.

"I don't care what you do. I am only asking for my poor love sick friend, James. Even after everything you put him through, you are still over here stringing him along. Flirting with him, and then going out with other guys…I just honestly just feel sorry for the guy. For all of the guys you have been leading on." It was true. She still spent all of her time with James. Flirting with him. Touching his arm. And then she goes out with other guys. And James still follows her around. Like a love sick puppy. It was honestly pathetic to watch.

"I mean first James, then Brady, and now Riley? You certainly get around don't you? Who next? Colin? 'Cause I hear he likes to sleep around. You two have that in common."

I see a flash of anger pass over her face, and then she slaps me. "How dare you. Say I am stringing James along. And call me a whore. Do you realize how much of a hypocrite you are, Edward? Jesus. I make no apologies for what I do. Because I am single. And I can date whoever I want. We are just friends, Edward. So you can't tell me who I can and can't date." She lets out an angry breath. "And you can't stand James. So stop acting like you are looking out for him. And don't pretend like you are asking for anyone else but yourself." She says angrily glaring at me.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Bella."

She sighs. "It doesn't mean anything, Edward. Just forget I said anything. Come with us next week or don't. I really could care less." She says walking past me….

 _ **One week Later**_

It's 3am on the night of fourth of July, and instead of going out with my friends, and getting drunk I have been sitting at home. All night, drinking alone. Something I never do. Because all I can think about is her. And how time and time again I have screwed up. Practically pushing her into the arms of other men. And I have no one else to blame but myself. Its been a week since we last talked. Both of us too angry and stubborn to apologize for the fight we had about Riley…and us. I said hurtful things to her. Things I wish I could take back. I took all of the things I loved about her and turned it into something ugly. And I basically called her a whore. And told her she led guys on. I regretted saying it the moment it came out of my mouth. Because the look she gave me. _God._ She looked like I had just slapped her in the face. So I avoided going out with our friends. Knowing I would see her… and that Riley would be there. And not wanting to see them together. I lean forward putting my hands in my hair wanting to scream. Because this girl had me all tangled up in knots. And she had me doing things I wouldn't normally do. I didn't know how I could get her to stop… stop infiltrating my head…and my heart….

I hear a knock on the door.

 _Tap on my window, knock on my door, I want to make you feel beautiful._

I fully expect it to be Emmett, drunk off his ass and needed a place to crash, not wanting to anger Rosalie, but to my surprise I open the door and see…Bella. She is completely soaking wet from the rain, and her hair is tangled and plastered to her face. She looks at me for a second, and then shakes her head, probably thinking it was a mistake to come to me like this.

"I'm sorry your probably busy. And I know we aren't really speaking." She shakes her head. "I shouldn't have just showed up unannounced." I continue looking at her still shocked that she is here…on my doorstep. "I am going to go." She says. I see her gesture towards the door, and then turn around. Before she can leave I grab her arm turning her around. When she is facing me I look at her for a second studying her. She fidgets with her hair, obviously uncomfortable with me staring at her. I am about to let her go, let her leave if that was what she really wanted, and if she was that uncomfortable, but then I see her face and I freeze. And I am pissed. I immediately move closer to her, putting my hand on her face and rubbing near her eye, where she has a huge bruise forming. She turns her head away, obviously trying to use her hair as a curtain to hide it. But it was too late. And at that moment I want to kill him. End him. Because he hurt her. Put his hands on her. My face hardens and I start to move away, getting ready to grab my keys so I can kiss his ass. Hurt him as much as he has hurt her. I turn around and walk inside grabbing my keys, and jacket. In a blind rage. I start to move past her.

"Wait, Edward where are you going?" She asks grabbing onto my wrist.

I turn around and look at her incredulously, shocked by her reaction.

'What do you mean where am I going? I am going to kill him, Bella. He put his hands on you." I say looking at her angrily. How can she be so rational about this? So calm? He hurt her. And I was going to hurt him. Not wanting to argue any further I continue walking out the door, but she follows me. Grabbing my arm, and turning me around, stopping me on the porch.

"Edward, wait please! Don't go." She starts crying. "I don't want to be alone right now. And…I don't want to see you get hurt over me. Please…just stay. Stay with me." She is full on crying now and my face softens. I look at her for a second. Her hair is sticking to her face. And she is soaking wet. But she has never looked so beautiful…or broken. I walk over to her and gently put my hand on her face. Rubbing the spot right under her eye gently with my thumb. Wanting to cry…and punch something at the same time. Never has a girl evoked such a strong reaction in me, and I didn't know what to make of it. She is looking at me worriedly. Still not sure that I would not leave and go kick his ass.

"God, Beautiful what has he done to you?" I ask rhetorically. "What did I make you do?" She leans into my touch, and starts crying harder. And I know this was my fault. Because I practically pushed her into his arms. Telling her I didn't care who she dated and what she did. I regret not pushing harder for her to listen to me. Or trying harder to prove that he wasn't a good guy. She walks closer to me, and I wrap my arms around her. Holding her in my arms. And I realize. This felt fucking right. I was home. _As cheesy as that fucking sounded…_ All of that bullshit. Everything that happened with us didn't matter. Because she was here. With me. She pulls away and looks at me for a second. I still have my arms wrapped around her because, honestly, I wasn't 100% convinced that I wouldn't go kick his ass if I let her go. She kept me grounded. Kept me sane. But at the same time it was torture. Being this close to her and knowing I couldn't do anything about it. She made it clear how she felt about me. That she just wanted to be friends. And I don't think I could handle being rejected again. And her thoughts about me…her opinion…meant more to me then it should have. But I couldn't help myself. So I lightly press her against the wall. She has her eyes closed. Not completely sure how I was react to everything. I stare at her willing her to open her eyes. When she does she is looking back at me, her eyes searching mine. Questioning what this was. Questioning what was happening. But I was just as confused as she was. She is gnawing on her lip nervously, not sure what I was about to do. All I wanted to do was kiss her. But I knew I couldn't. Not after everything she just went through. She needed comfort. Someone to talk to. And despite my feelings for her I knew I had to put them aside for now. And be a friend to her. I swipe my thumb across her bottom lip, freeing it, realizing too late that it had been a mistake. It only drew more attention to her mouth, and make the sexual tension that seems to be ever present between us mount even more. My eyes roam her face, alternating between her mouth and her eyes.

"Edward," she lets out breathlessly. That is all I needed to hear to pull myself from my thoughts, and to realize now was not the time for this. I couldn't…wouldn't…take advantage of her like this. Not when she was vulnerable…So instead I scoop her up in my arms and start to carry her into the apartment towards my room. She resists for a few seconds, but then she cuddles further into me. And I smile. Because it is clear that she feels safe with me. And you have no idea how incredible that felt. I carefully set her on the edge of the bed, and then go to the closet to grab a towel and a change of clothes. When I reach her again, I bend down on my knees facing her. She looks at me, waiting for something. What she was waiting for though I wasn't sure. I put my hand on her face rubbing her cheek with my thumb.

"Did he hurt you anywhere else, beautiful?" I ask her reaching up with my other hand to put her hair behind her ears. She closes her eyes and leans into my touch. I was honestly scared of her answer. And I really wanted to leave now and kill him. But I knew she needed me. I see her shake her head, and I sigh in relief, letting out the breath I was holding. _Thank god_.

I realize the position we are in, and I quickly get up, gesturing towards the clothes.

"Sorry I don't have anything else, but boxers and a shirt. But you can change in the bathroom over there," I say gesturing towards the bathroom. "And sleep in my bed. I will be downstairs if you need me." I say in a rush. I was nervous. Because she was here. In my bedroom. She smiles at me, and gets up. Then she walks over to me, and touches my face this time, rubbing her thumb on my cheek. "Thanks, Edward." She says smiling, and then she turns around, and walks into the bathroom. Once I shake myself out of the daze I was in, I move to walk out of the bedroom. Once I am outside I shut the door and lean my head against it. And I think about all of the emotions and all of the feelings she brought out in me. I never felt this way about a girl before. So protective…so confused. I wasn't this guy. I wasn't the guy who held girls in my arms as they cried on my shoulder. I wasn't the guy who felt so strongly for a girl that all I wanted to do was kick the ass of the person who hurt her. I was the guy who fucked them and left. I sigh running my hand through my hair. She was changing me. And I wasn't sure if I was ready for it.

I stand up straight, and start to head downstairs, getting ready to call Emmett to tell him what happened, when I heard her call for me.

"Edward, are you still out there?" I turn around and look at the door for a second, _had I really been out here thinking for that long?_ That's what this girl did to me. She made me overanalyze and overthink everything. I open the door, and see that she is on my bed. She looked so small, so beautiful, sitting there on my bed. And seeing her in my clothes? Any guy who said they didn't like seeing girls in their clothes would be a liar. It was a primal…instinctual thing…and for the moment I was able to pretend that she was mine. That all of the bullshit, and the confusion wasn't there…and this was a typical night at home. Her in my bed waiting for me.

"Is everything ok, B?" I ask walking over to her worriedly.

"Yeah I'm fine. Thanks for everything Edward," she says smiling at me. I smile back at her, and grab her hand squeezing it. Then I turn around getting ready to leave, thinking that was all she wanted to say.

"Wait, Edward." She says just as I reach the door. I turn around and look at her questioningly. She is looking down, and playing with the edge of the blanket. _Damn, I wish I knew what was going on in that pretty head of hers. If she was having the same thoughts…the same struggles as I was. Or the same feelings even…_ Finally, she speaks.

"Will you stay with me? Please?" I look at her for a second struggling with what I should do. I sigh, running my hand through my hair. I knew it would be torture, holding her in my arms, and not being able to kiss her, but she needed me. And that was all that mattered.

"Of course." I say coming over to her. She holds up the blankets and I take off my socks and shoes before climbing into bed with her….

 _ **End flashback**_

 _ **Present day, Seattle Washington**_

 _ **BPOV**_

I couldn't sleep. And I was officially going to kill Alice Brandon. I sigh looking at the clock. _4 a.m._ Rolling my eyes I pull the covers down, and walk downstairs into the kitchen. Hoping that I wouldn't be able to hear their laughter and giggling from here. _Apparently her drunk ass could stay awake long enough to have sex, I think to myself_. We spent the night, drinking talking, and laughing. It had been so great to being able to talk to my best friend again. I had been so worried though that I would run into Edward while I was staying here that I avoided leaving the living room. And I never allowed myself to be alone. I knew it was stupid, that I would have to face him again sooner or later after what happened, but I would admit it. I was a coward. I knew he wanted to talk. The look he gave me when I got to Alice and Jasper's house indicated as much. But I wasn't ready to talk. And I knew us talking would only lead to bad things. _Good_ , as much as I didn't want to admit it, but at the same time bad. I open the refrigerator door grabbing the carton of milk.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" I gasp and almost drop the milk I had just grabbed. Putting my hand on my chest, I turn around, and see Edward... Shit.

"Damn it you scared me, Edward." I say looking at him pissed off. But he doesn't say anything back. He is looking at me and up and down checking me out. I look down, following his gaze and see that I am only wearing a tank top and underwear. _Damn this heat wave…_

"Ahem," he says clearing his throat.

"Um yeah, sorry. I was hot." I say crossing my arms over my chest. And then I realized what I had just said. I close my eyes and shake my head. He looks at me for a second, and opens his mouth to speak. But then he closes it again, like he wanted to say something, but then he thought better of it. Instead he clears his throat again and looks down running his hand through his hair. He looks uncomfortable so I decide to change the subject.

"Are they always like this?" I ask him, pointing towards Alice and Jasper's bedroom. He looks up at me and laughs. "Almost every night."

I scrunch up my nose. "That must be miserable, having to hear them, every night." I say laughing.

"Yeah it kind of sucks. But I am happy for them." He says smiling at me. After a second my laughter dies in my throat when I think about us, and about where we are right now. Both of us in serious relationships, both of us with other people. I sigh because I realize we could have been happy too. We could have had the relationship that Japer and Alice had… If he hadn't screwed everything up. The smile is automatically wiped from my face with this thought. And so is his. It was obvious that he was thinking the exact same thing. There is an obvious tension in the room now. A war of who was going to talk first. Say how they were feeling. He breaks the tension and I had almost wished he hadn't….

"So, how was your date." He asks me, finally looking me in the eye.

I roll my eyes, and sigh. Not wanting to start a fight with him. "Edward, don't start." I say starting to walk away, towards my bedroom. Not wanting to go down this road with him again.

"B, wait." He says grabbing my wrist and spinning me around. Stopping me from leaving. He looks at me for a minute, and I look at him expectant. Angry and waiting for him to get what he has to say out of the way, so I can go to bed. At least that's what I tell myself.

He sighs running his hand through his hair. "Look, B. I know you don't want to talk about last night. And that you think it was a mistake." And I know that you are obviously happy with someone else. But god."

I put my hand out, interrupting him. Realizing what he was about to say but not sure if I wanted to hear it. Because again I was a coward. I knew I needed to put a stop to this back and forth. And I knew that what I was about to say was going to hurt him. But it was time for both of us to let go. "He is moving here, Edward. That is what we talked about tonight when we were out on our date. He said that if I get the job, he is going to move here to be with me. And he wants to marry me, Edward. Maybe not now, but soon. And I need someone like that. I need to be with someone who knows how to commit to me. That wants to plan a future with me. That would follow me anywhere I want to go, because he wants to make me happy. And I know you could never do that. So please. Just stop. Stop what your doing, and just let me go." I say, my voice breaking. Not able to control my emotions around him no matter how hard I try. The look that passes over his face. Jesus. He looks devastated. But I knew I needed to tell him. So that we could both start to move on.

We are both silent for a second, and I start to turn around again and walk away, back upstairs to safety. But he calls out to me.

"Bella…" he says. I can feel his eyes on me, and I know he is struggling for what to say. He walks towards me, and turns me around. He has a determined look on his face. I start to back up, trying to get out of his grip but instead I hit the counter. I look at him fearfully, knowing I was trapped, and knowing what was about to happen. When he reaches me, he put his hands on either side of the counter trapping me. Then he lifts his hand and puts my hair behind my ear. I close my eyes at the sensation. _How is it that we always end up here?_ …

"Bella," I hear him whisper again. I open my eyes and look at him. He is looking down at me worriedly. "Look I am sorry about everything. Really I am. But Jake the way he grabbed you before, just reminded me of the past, and how he is exhibiting the same signs…"

"Don't go there again, Edward." I say getting angry. How could he bring that up? Yes, the thing with Riley was a horrible experience, and probably something I should have seen coming, but it only happened once, and then it was over. I left him, and I went…to Edward. I don't know why I decided to go to his apartment that night instead of going to Alice. After all we had been living together. But it had been an instinctual decision. A split second decision. Because I felt safe with him. And I knew he would be able to protect me. And he did. That night, cuddle in his arms, felt so right. I felt so safe with him. So protected. Like nothing could hurt me. I knew then that I was in trouble. Because I knew that I was going to fall hard for him. And I did.

I knew deep down he was a good guy. Despite the act he tried to put on for everyone else.

I keep thinking back to that night more and more lately. I probably should have pressed charges afterwards. But I honestly just wanted to forget about it…move on. And it helped a little that Edward and Emmett went and dealt with him. I smile because I knew know matter what, they would always be there to protect me. I look back up at Edward and he is looking at me, confused. Probably wondering why, I was smiling.

After a moment he speaks again. "I just worry about you, Bella. I am always going to worry about you. No matter who you are with…and whether or not you are with me." I sigh because he was not making this easier.

"I know, Edward. And I appreciate it. But I am going to say the same thing I said to you seven years ago. I made a mistake with Riley. I know that. And you were right about him." I give him a stern look for a second, as if I was saying not to get a big head over it. "But Jake, I have known him for a long time. And he isn't the same guy as Riley was." He rolls his eyes at me, and I slap him on the arm. "Stop, Edward. I am serious. Stop insulting my boyfriend. He really is a good guy. And he treats me well. I really need you to stop being overprotective of me. Because you can't protect me forever. You can't be there for me every second of the day."

He looks at me for a second. Almost like he was trying to determine whether I could handle what he was about to say. "Beautiful, I will never stop looking out for you. And I will never let you fall. At least as much as I can help it."

Honestly, I didn't know what to say to that. But I knew I needed to end this once and for all. "That isn't your job, Edward. And it never really was your job. Because you and I? We were never really together." I put my hand on his chest pushing him backwards so I could create space between us. Then I turn around and head for the door again.

"Edward, I can't do this. I can't keep doing this with you." I say as I am walking away, not being able to look back at him. Knowing that if I did, and I saw his face, I would go to him. I hated this. I hated hurting him. But I couldn't handle this anymore. I needed to focus on my relationship with Jake. And as long as he thought he had a chance I knew Edward would never stop. Once again he calls out to me, and I stop. Because no matter how hard I try to leave he always pulls me back in again.

"Do you love him? Do you really want to marry him?" That stops me in my tracks. Because how dare he ask me that? Now. After everything that happened.

I turn around and look at him. "I don't see how that is any of your business, Edward. We are over. Done. So I am not going to play these games with you anymore. I am not going to talk to you about him. I am going to marry him when he asks me. Because he is who I should be with." I say angrily. "And I don't want to talk about _her_ either anymore. Do you think it's easy? Seeing you with her? Knowing that you started dating her only months after we broke up?"

"Hey…you are the one who ended it between us, remember? You are the one who didn't want to be with me. So what right do you have to judge me for moving on the only way I knew how to? And we didn't start dating right away it was awhile-"

I didn't want to hear his excuses. Him trying to justify dating a new girl only months after we broke up. "Yeah, I ended it because I was mad at you. For lying to me, for god knows how long. For being engaged and for almost marrying another girl. Not because I stopped loving you."

He looks at me for a second, and I realize what I had just said. I open my mouth to speak, although I didn't know what I was going to say.

"You still love me? Or you did?" He asks me after a second, looking shocked, and almost desperate for my answer. He moves towards me again, and I hold my hand out. But that doesn't stop him from reaching out to me, putting his hands on my hips, and pulling me into him.

I look at him for a second. Struggling with how to answer him. Because I wasn't sure I could tell him how I feel. Not when we were both with other people.

The lights flicker on, and Edward and I move apart quickly. I look over and see Alice, squinting in the light. "What are you guys doing up?" She asks, her eyebrow lifting.

"Neither of us could sleep, so we were just getting a glass of milk." I say quickly, before Edward can say anything. "But I am going to head up to bed. Night", I say quickly. Without waiting for a response, I walk past Alice, and head back up the stairs to my room.

 **A/n: Thanks again for reading! And I apologize again for the delay in updating. Next chapter will be around the half way mark. (Although I always tend to write more then I think I will so it could be longer). A few of you were wondering, so I will tell you, that things are going to start unraveling piece by piece next chapter. And you will be hearing from a new POV. See you next time!**


	12. Chapter 12

A/n: Hey everyone! Thanks again for all of the review/favorites/follows! I apologize for the delays! As usual school and work have taken over my life…Anyways, there will be some new characters joining the story, and a new POV this chapter. So enjoy!

 _Never put my love out on the line. Never said yes to the right guy. Never had trouble getting what I want. But when it comes to you I'm never good enough." –Demi Lovato "Heart Attack"_

 **Chapter 12: THE POT STIRRER**

 **Present day, Seattle Washington**

 **BPOV**

I walk down into the kitchen, and see Jasper and Alice, cooking breakfast. He has his arms wrapped around her waist from behind and she is leaning into him, and both of them having smiles on their face. Seeing them like that (although it kind of grosses me out since I know what they were doing last night and they are like a brother and sister to me), made me smile because I realized how genuinely happy they made each other, and how lucky they are to have found each other. And it made me realize how much I wanted, and needed that.

Growing up, I didn't have the best examples of love. A couple I could look up to and know that their love was exactly what I wanted. My mom left my dad and I when I was only 3 years old. And the only time I hear from her is on birthdays, and when she wants something from me. Or when she wants to pretend like she is my mother to impress one of her latest boyfriends. As for the rest of my family, they had all been divorced, and were on to their second and third marriages. So I have always been scared to fall in love. To scared to be happy, and then to have it all crumbling down when it didn't work out. And too scared that the people who loved me the most would leave me. Realizing I wasn't enough for them. That's why, throughout my adolescents (and into my twenties I will admit) I had been afraid to be in a real relationship. Too afraid to let anyone love me. I would never put my love out on the line. Or go out on dates with guys that were right for me and I could see a future with. I would go on dates with guys, and at the first sign that they wanted to be serious with me or if were getting too close I would bolt before they could. I know it wasn't very mature of me, but it was how I was at the time.

I never had trouble getting what I wanted out of relationships. And then I met Edward. And everything I thought I knew and believed about love and relationships went out the window. Even though I was still scared to fall in love and be in a relationship, I could see it with him. I could see myself being happy and in love with him, ever since the first day I met him. There was this spark, this undeniable chemistry that we had, that was impossible to deny. He just got me. He understood me. We had this banter. This back and forth…that I have never had with anyone else. But timing was a bitch. And there were too many things working against us.

He was the last person I should have been with...really. Because of all of those things I was afraid of…the abandonment, and the hurt that prevented me from wanting to be in a relationship…I knew he was more then capable of doing those things to me. And in the end I was right.

There were too many lies, secrets, and girls. And too much uncertainty on my part. I had let all of the lies, and insecurities grab ahold of me. I think that really was what broke us in the end. That's why I couldn't really blame Edward for everything that went wrong with us.

 **Flashback 2009- First day of work:**

 **BPOV**

I knew that working at Eclipse would be complicated. I knew I would be dealing with a bitchy boss who only kind of liked me despite her better judgment because I actually stood up to her. But she still thought I was sleeping with her employee. And I knew I would be dealing with Edward. The kind of guy I had been avoiding my whole life because I knew how they operated, and the kind of things they did. But it didn't stop me from being curious, and intrigued by him. I look around for Edward, only because Rosalie wanted me to report to him. I had planned before coming here to spend the least amount of time with him as possible.

I could admit I was nervous to see him. I knew I couldn't cross any lines with him, after all I had been warned countless time about how he was with women, but I wasn't sure how long I would be able to say no to him. He was a persistent guy, and one that I am pretty sure has never heard the word no from a girl before. I am interrupted from my thoughts when a blonde girl, with her standard work uniform entirely too tight and revealing, walks up to me.

'Hi, I'm Lauren!" She says excitedly, "And you are?" She asks me questioningly, raising her eyebrows.

"Bella." I reply back. Not entirely sure I could trust this girl. After all she looked exactly like the kind of girls I would avoid at my other school.

"So nice to meet you, Bella! I can tell we are going to be great friends!" She says enthusiastically.

I internally roll my eyes at the fake enthusiasm in her voice, and I look around the restaurant. After a moment I spot Edward, leaning casually against the bar and laughing with one of his friends. He looked so innocent, and so carefree that I couldn't help but stare at him for a second. I knew that I had I caught him in a rare moment. The other times I had talked with him he always looked so tense. So contemplative. Or he had a smirk on his face, like he was wearing a mask. He was naturally gorgeous, but when I saw him like this, so relaxed and carefree, it just made him even more attractive. I see Lauren turn around, and look in the same direction. Wondering what I was staring at. She turns back to me and I am once again brought out of my thoughts.

"Do you know, Edward?" She asks me raising her eyebrows and standing up straighter. Like she was on alert. I could tell that there was something going on there, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. So I scoff, and play it off. Hoping she would put her claws away, and act like a decent human being.

"Barely. We met at a Starbucks, last week, and then I found out he was working here a few days ago. I barely know the guy." I say brushing off her comment, and hoping that it would get her off my back.

"Oh ok, cool." She says casually, although I could tell that she wasn't happy about him knowing me. She casually looks at her nails and says, "Him and I have been dating for awhile now." She says nonchalantly. Then she looks at me for a second, and lowers her voice to a whisper like she doesn't want anyone else to know, "But don't tell anyone you know. There is kind of a policy about dating people you work with." She says rolling her eyes as if she really cared whether people knew.

"Not a problem." I say smiling at her. She grabs my arm squeezing it, and thanking me. Then she turns around and walks towards him. I watch her walk away and I can't help but feel hurt, and annoyed with him. Even though I knew I didn't have any right to feel that way. I had no claim on him. And I guess it made sense that he would have a girlfriend… _look how gorgeous he was…_ but I couldn't help but feel played. Like maybe the connection...the spark that I felt was one sided.

But more than that, I couldn't help but be annoyed by Lauren. I mean really? She knew exactly what she was doing. She was laying her claim on him. Letting me know he was spoken for. I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this passive aggressive bullshit after high school, but I guess I was wrong. And really she could have him for all I cared. Because if he really was dating her, and flirting with other girls, that was definitely not the kind of guy I needed to be involved with. I have known enough guys like that to last a lifetime. And I didn't need another one.

I knew that for now on I needed to maintain a professional relationship with him. Because that was all we would ever be...colleagues. Satisfied with my resolve, I walk over to them. An annoyed look passes over Lauren's face but she quickly clears it, and loops her arm with Edward's. When my eyes finally meet Edward's the look that he gives me almost… _almost…_ makes me lose my resolve to remain professional with him. The smile he gives me…it was so brilliant, genuine…and beautiful, that I had to literally pause for a second. Was he really that happy that I was here? Or was that his way of getting girls…getting me… to fall for him? And why would he act that way with his girlfriend right next to him?

"So Eddie, I heard that you met our girl Bella already?" She asks him with her eyebrows raised as soon as I was in ear shot. He subtly slips his arms out of Lauren's clutches and he smiles back at me. I raise my eyebrows at him. _What was that about?..._

"Hey Bella it's good to see you again. I am glad you survived the interview with Rose." He lowers his voice for a second. "I know she can be a hard ass but she really is great once you get to know her." He says. I smile because of the genuine love they have for each other. And I realized that he was scared of Rosalie.

Probably sensing that we were having a moment I hear Lauren clearing her throat, "Ahem. We both look over at her, when she clearly ruined whatever moment we were having, "Eddie we should probably get back to work. We don't want Rose to get pissed at us." She says, in mock concern. I roll my eyes at her obvious attempt to try to get the attention back on her. And her use of the nickname Eddie, which he obviously despises. But then I realize something.

"Oh, actually Edward, I don't know if she told you this, but Rose assigned you to train me. I hope you don't mind." I say innocently, smirking at Lauren. A little satisfied that Lauren wasn't going to get what she wanted. I was rewarded when I hear a scoff and turn to see her glaring at me. Edward doesn't notice though because his attention is still focused on me.

"Of course I don't mind, Bells. I would be happy to help you with whatever you need." He says with a smirk. I roll my eyes at the sexual innuendo. I mean really? Now? In front of his girlfriend? I ignore his attempt to flirt and say, "I am going to go talk with Rose, I'll meet you out here in a few." Without waiting for an answer I turn around and walk away. I needed a second to calm down. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. And I definitely didn't to be around either of them for longer than I needed to…

When I walk back into the dining room I see that Edward is finally alone. "Hey so you are finally alone." I say walking up to him.

He just laughs. "Yeah sorry about that. She can be a bitch sometimes." I stare at him a little disgusted. Because really, that's how he talks about his girlfriend? The disgusted look must have shown on my face because he suddenly speaks up.

"But we aren't dating." He says, almost frantically, like he was reassuring me that he was available.

I roll my eyes. Not really sure I could believe him. Even if he wasn't dating her it was obvious they were still messing around. And I didn't want to get involved in that. "Edward, you can date whoever you want. I'm not here to judge you, or the girls you go out with. I just want to do my job." I see a look pass over his face almost like he wanted to argue about it further. But instead he shakes his head and laughs darkly.

"Whatever you say, Bella. Let's just get back to work." And without waiting for a response he turns around and walks away. I look at him confused. What the hell was that? Was he genuinely angry that I told him he could date whoever he wanted? What else did he expect me to do? Tell him he shouldn't date anyone else but me after only knowing each other for a week? Realizing that this was going to be harder than I thought, but not wanting to let him know he was getting to me, I follow him. I was lost in my thoughts, wondering how I was going to survive working with Edward, when I bump into something solid.

"Whoa," I say starting to fall backwards. But before I could fall I feel strong arms grabbing my arms, and steadying me. _And my klutziness strikes again_. I was embarrassed because all I seemed to be able to do lately is walk into people. I look up getting ready to apologize but my words are stuck in my throat when I see a gorgeous guy with green eyes looking at me.

"You ok?" He asks me with a look of concern. _Why was I never able to be coordinated around attractive men? I ask myself._ I must have been staring because he looks at me for a second concerned, that I wasn't answering him.

I shake my head. "Yeah I'm fine." I say smiling at him. "Thanks for saving me. That would have been embarrassing, falling on my first day."

"Not a problem." He says smiling back. "My name is Brady, and you are?"

"Bella," I say.

"Nice to meet you, Bella. And trust me a lot worse could have happened." I look at him questioningly, and he lowers his voice, "On my first day I got several orders wrong, and tripped and spilled food on a customer. So trust me it's normal." He says, with a laugh. I laugh along with him, because he actually seemed like a decent guy. "You have a beautiful laugh." He says smiling.

"Thanks." I say shyly tucking my hair behind my ear.

"So it's your first day, huh? Who do you have training you?" He asks me.

At the realization that I was supposed to be following Edward I look around, trying to find him, and see him talking to some tall blonde. _Of course, why am I not surprised? I roll my eyes. What is his deal with blondes anyways? And why is it that whenever I piss him off he finds some other girl to talk to?_ Even though he is talking to her, I notice that he is sneaking glances at me. When he sees that he is caught, instead of being embarrassed, he continues to stare at me intensely, an indecipherable look on his face. I ignore him though, not wanting to deal with his bullshit. So instead I look back at the cute stranger in front of me. He must have known who I was looking at because he raises his eyebrow at me.

"Is something going on between you and Edward? Because he doesn't seem to be too happy that your talking to me." He asks me. _Why was everyone so interested in my relationship with Edward?_

"Not at all." I say confidently smiling at him. He smiles back.

"Good, because I know that we just met but I wanted to see if you wanted to hangout with me sometime? Maybe grab a drink or something?" I look at him for a second hesitant. And I didn't know why. What was holding me back from going out with this cute stranger?

"I overstepped," he said quickly backtracking. "I'm sorry if I was too forward. I just…" He hesitates for a second like he was trying to choose his words carefully… "can tell you are different from a lot of the other girls I have met. Even though we have only been talking for a few minutes." I look at him questioningly and he adds on, "In a good way, I promise." He says reassuringly. "But your probably in a relationship. Of course you are. You gorgeous, and charming, and have a beautiful laugh." He continues rambling and I laugh. Because I had never met such a genuinely nice guy. One that was good looking and didn't even know it.

He looks at me for a second, probably not sure how to take me laughing at him. "I'm not laughing at you I promise." I say reassuring him. "I just have never met a guy like you either." I say smiling at him. "in a good way I promise. You are a genuinely, nice guy. And it's definitely not something I am used to. I just…can't go to a bar to drink for a few more months. I'm only 17." I say shyly.

"Oh," he says, the relief obvious in his voice, "That's not a problem. We can do something else. Go to a movie or something. Or we can watch a movie and drink at my apartment." He says.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I'll give you my number after my shift." I say smiling at him. "It was nice to meet you." I say, and then I start to walk away.

"Nice to meet you too." He calls after me. I walk towards Edward, a smile still on my face. I see that the blonde has left, and Edward is glaring at me.

"New friend?" He asks glaring at me.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "What I am not allowed to make new friends?"

"No you are, but come on, farmer boy? You can do a lot better than that." He says scoffing. I look at him questioningly, wondering about the nickname, but before I can say anything else we are interrupted by Lauren.

"Hey baby are we still going out to lunch?" I turn around and see that Lauren has appeared, and is rubbing his shoulder. "Bells you don't mind if I steal him from you do you?"

"No not at all." I say giving her a fake smile, and trying to not let her get to me.

"I'll bring him back soon so that he can continue training you, I promise. You could probably use all of the help you can get." She says smiling insincerely back at me. I grit my teeth, wanting to hit her. But before I can, she pulls Edward by the arm whisking him away. He waves and then walks out the door after her.

I watch them walk away, glaring at Lauren's back.

"She can be such a bitch can't she?" I hear someone say behind me. I turn around and see a petite brunette staring at me.

"Yeah, what is her deal anyways?" I ask her. She rolls her eyes.

"She is just a jealous bitch. Who doesn't like Edward's attention on anyone else but her. Don't worry she is like that with every girl."

"Yeah that doesn't make me feel better." I say, and she laughs in response. "What the hell does he see in her anyways? Like why would he date her? She seems awful." I say trying to pretend like I didn't care too much.

She looks at me for a second, as if she caught on that I might like him. But then she starts laughing. "Oh trust me they aren't dating. Edward doesn't do girlfriends. I am assuming that's what she told you?" I nod my head in the affirmative, and she rolls her eyes. "See what I mean? She is territorial over him. She doesn't want him dating anyone else but her, and she thinks the way to do that is scare off all of the other girls. But I can tell you are the type of girl who doesn't get intimidated very easily." She says smirking.

I laugh. "I'm not. And I am definitely not scared of her."

"Good." She says smiling at me.

"Hey what are you guys talking about?" I turn and see an attractive guy with blonde hair, and blue eyes walk up to me. "I'm James." He says smiling at me, and putting out his hand. "And you are?"

"Bella," I say smiling back at him.

'It's nice to meet you, Bella." He says, "What are you guys talking about over here."

"Lauren and her obsession with Edward." Jessica says, rolling her eyes.

He laughs, "She is a little she-beast. They dated when they were both in high school. And not that I would ever be one to defend Edward, but even I have to admit that she is crazy. And he ended things with her as soon as he realized how crazy she was."

"And now he is sleeping with her?" I ask rolling my eyes.

"Yeah we don't get it either. But they kind of deserve each other. He is a huge asshole who plays games with girls, and she is a bitch who tries to sleep her way to the top. She tried to sleep with Emmett a few years back, but Rose found out. And you can imagine how well that went over."

"Yeah, I bet Rose kicked her ass." I say my respect for Rosalie rising.

She laughs. "She definitely wanted to. But her dad is friends with the owner, and he would never have allowed it."

I didn't want to ask about Edward but my curiosity got the best of me. "So what is the deal with Edward then?" I asked trying to act like I wasn't interested.

Jess looks at me for a second like she wanted to question my interest, but she lets it go. "His parents are really well known in the community. His dad, Carlisle own his own doctor's office in Seattle, and is on the board of several major hospitals. And he is grooming Edward to follow in his footsteps. He has already set him up with several internships. And his mom's family owns multi-million dollar businesses in Chicago. He is basically being brought up to be the next business tycoon. He is only working here because Rose and Emmett needed help, but also because he knew it would piss off his parents. They don't exactly have the best relationship." James explains.

"But still, like seriously don't waste your time with him. He is definitely not the kind of guy to get involved with." Jessica pipes in, quickly. As if she saw what I was trying to hide that I was interested.

"Wasn't planning on it." I say to her. And I wasn't. Because I meant what I said before. I need to be focused on school and work, and I wouldn't let a guy interfere with that… _And anyways he was totally out of my league. Gorgeous…successful..._

"But I need to get back to work, Edward is probably waiting on me to finish with my training. I will see you guys later." I say to them walking away.

After getting a chorus of byes in response, and plans to hangout later, I start to head back over to Edward. Taking a deep breath on my way…

Once I was able to get the hang of the job, Edward was forced by Rosalie to let me work on my own. And so the rest of the night I avoided him. Not wanting to deal with his excuses or his lies. And trying to process everything that Jessica, James, and Rose told me about him. I wasn't sure how I felt about him now that I knew everything that I did.

I am walking towards the back to take a break, when I feel a hand tugging on my arm, pulling me into the closet. I am spun around and see…Edward. _Of course_. He pushes me gently with his body against the wall. "Your avoiding me." He says, resting his arm above my head. I look up at him annoyed. "I'm not avoiding you Edward I am just trying to do my job." I say pushing him back. I head for the door. But he apparently doesn't take no for an answer because he grabs me turning me back around.

"You are avoiding me. And I'm not really sure why? What happened to the beautiful girl in the coffee shop who was flirting with me?" He says with a smirk on his face.

I roll my eyes at him because he was such a cocky asshole. "I was not flirting with you, Edward. I was trying to let you down easy. And we should pretend like that never happened. We work together, and that is it." I say crossing my arms over my chest.

"Pretend like what never happened, Bella? What exactly happened? Because all I can remember is that I was flirting with you, and trying to get to know you, and you shot me down." He said getting close to me again. When I didn't respond he continued.

"Let me prove to you that I am a good guy. I know you probably heard a lot of shit, from a lot of different girls. But most of it isn't true...It's jealousy. That is all it really is. So go out with me. Let me prove to you that I am not a bad guy." He says smiling at me. I want to believe him. I really did. But I knew he had something going on with Lauren, and I wasn't going to get in the middle of that. And I knew that we would be crossing a line. One that was bound to have consequences for both of us.

"I'm not going out with you. Or dating you. I'm drawing a line. A big line. We aren't allowed to date. I know the rules. And I am not going to fuck up this chance. This opportunity that was given to me… because of a guy. I'm new to this job and already have people hating me. Girls hating me because of you. And I don't deserve it." I look up at him. "I still have something to prove, Edward. And I can't let you screw this up for me." I sigh.

He studies me for a second, and then he says, "Is this what you really want? For me to leave you alone? Or do you feel like you have to? Because the way I see it you have two reasons for rejecting me." He puts his fingers out. One, out of obligation to Rosalie and everyone else. Or two you doing it to prove to everyone that you are a hard ass. That you are the kind of girl that doesn't have feelings. And doesn't need a relationship. Or isn't effected by guys like me." I look at him shocked. Because he nailed it right on the head. How is it possible that he already knew me better than I knew myself? I wasn't going to let him know that he was right though. So instead I went on the defense.

"Why can't you just accept the fact… the possibility that not all girls want you? Why do you think that there has to be something wrong with me because I don't want to go out with you? Why can't we just stay friends?" I ask him frustrated that he wouldn't let this go.

"Bella- "

"it's the thrill of the chase isn't it? That's why you are so eager to go out with me. You have never been rejected by a girl before. And no other girl has ever said no to you. I have been wondering to myself why you are so hell bent on getting me to go out with you. You know that there is a policy against dating. Especially those that are higher up. You know we could get in trouble for dating if anyone ever found out. And you know that I keep saying no to you. So that's what it is isn't it? It's the thrill of the chase." I ask him expectantly.

He pauses for a second and several emotions pass over his face before he speaks. "Well it's fun isn't it?" He whispers.

I give him a look. "You see this is a game to you. But it's not to me. Because like I said I have something to prove being new to this job. And I am going to have to depend on this job to get me through college. Because unlike you, I don't get handed everything in my life. I have to work for it. So please, just stop. Because if you don't, I wont be able to be friends with you either." I say angrily. And then I walk away, not giving him the chance to argue with me further.

 _ **One week later**_

I am in the back room ready to clock out for the day when I feel someone walk up behind me, his body pressed close to mine, and his lips near my ear. _Edward…._ How was it that I could feel him like this?

"Its not the thrill of the chase Bella." I hear Edward say from behind me. I turn around and ask,

"What?"

"I know I made you think that was all it was. But you and me. This thing between us. Its not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game." He walks closer, breathing into my ear. "It's the way you smile. And how it can light up the whole room… And your laugh." He says smiling at me.

He gets impossibly closer to me and reach his hand up, putting my hair behind my ear. "And it's the way you make me feel when I am around you." I close my eyes at his touch, and he whispers, "That's why I want to go out with you." I open my eyes, and he is staring at me. His eyes searching mine. And I almost give in. But then I remember what everyone had told me about him. All of the warnings from Brady…Jessica…and even Lauren. And all I can think about is all of the problems I have with relationships. So I step back and whisper, "I can't do this, Edward." And then I turn and walk away, not allowing myself to look back, no matter how much I wanted to. As I am walking out the door I feel a hand tug on my arm, pulling me into another room. I look up and see it is the blonde he was talking to on my first day. I had later learned from Jess that her name was Tanya, and she had been friends with him since high school. She is looking at me, the disgust obvious on her face. _What the hell did I do to her?..._

"What the hell are you doing to him?" She asks me furiously.

And now I am angry. Because how dare she corner me like this? "I have no idea what your talking about, Tanya."

"Your playing games with him. Telling him he doesn't have a chance, and then flirting with other guys in front of him. I might not know you very well but I would have never taken you for a tease." She spits out nastily.

I look at her shocked. "First of all, I have no idea who you are talking about. And secondly, you don't know me. So you have no right to spit out accusations. I'm new here, and I am just trying to make friends."

She scoffs. "Friends, right." She says rolling her eyes disbelievingly. "And you know exactly who I am talking about, Bella. He has never been like this with a girl before. He has never liked a girl this much. You are all he has been able to talk about. And the games you are playing with him are cruel." She said continuing to glare at me.

I look at her incredulously because I think I know who she is talking about. "Wait are you seriously saying that I am playing games with _Edward_? Edward? The king of playing games with girls? The one who can't even be with the same girl for a single day? Are you kidding me with this shit?" I seriously can't believe she was lecturing me about playing games with Edward right now. God _Edward. I try not to let what she said effect me. And I couldn't get my hopes up. Because even if what she said about him liking me is true, he had no idea how to be in a real relationship. And really neither did I. Us being together…I think could only end in mutual destruction._

"Of course I am talking about him. He is my best friend. And I am going to do everything I can to keep him away from girls like you. The kind of girl who tells a guy that she wont date him because they are coworkers, and then goes around flirting with every other guy. What is the deal with that anyways?

"I told you I am not flirting with them. I am making friends. And its none of your fucking business anyways who I do and do not date." I fire back at her.

"It becomes my business when you are hurting my best friend." She waves her hand. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I am not going to argue with you any further. Just stay away from Edward. And stop letting him think he has a chance." As she walks away I turn around, watching her leave in shock.

 **End Flashback**

 **Present day**

 **BPOV**

Being brought out of my memories I walk into the kitchen. "Ahem." I say smirking at them, when I see that they are kissing. They pull apart and look over at me, blushing.

"Morning Bells!" Alice chirps. "We are making eggs, and sausage, want some?" She asks pointing to the food.

"Sure, do you need help with anything?" I ask sitting down at the breakfast bar, watching them cook.

"Nah, we are ok, just stay seated it'll be done soon. By the way my sister is coming in today from California. So Jazz and I are picking her up from the airport. Do you want to come with us?" She asks me, her eyebrow raised.

Alice's sister and I had a complicated relationship. While we had been friends for a long time growing up, she started being cold towards me shortly after Alice and I started at UDUB. I understood her not wanting to hangout with us when we were freshman in college, and she was a sophomore. But I soon realized it was just me she didn't want to be around. She never wanted me to be around when I was hanging out with Alice. Or when they went on family vacations together, even though I had been going with them since I was a little kid. I honestly didn't know what I had done to her to piss her off, but still to this day, she was a bitch to me.

She must have noticed my hesitation because she says, "Come on it'll be fun! We can go to lunch at Pike Place Market, and then we can walk around! My parents even offered up their boat. Although I think we should wait to do that another day… Please, Bells? I just want to spend time with my best friend, and sister while they are still around." She asks me jutting out her bottom lip. _Damn her and her powers of persuasion. She could probably convince me…or guilt me...into doing anything._

"Fine," I say grudgingly, knowing this probably wouldn't end well. But it was Alice's wedding, and I knew I had to get along with her sister for her sake…

Shortly after getting to the airport, we walk over to the gate to pick up Charlotte when I heard screaming, and a tall blonde came barreling towards us, hugging Alice. _My god there is two of them…I roll my eyes at the shrillness of their squealing._

When they finally pull apart, Charlotte holds her at arms length looking at her. "Hi sis its good to see you! You look great!" Charlotte says smiling at her.

"Its good to see you too, Char!" You remember Jasper right?" She says pointing at him.

"Of course! Its good to see you again!" She says walking over to him, and hugging him.

"And you know, Bells." She says pointing towards me. And to my surprise Charlotte walks over to me too, and hugs me.

"Of course, its been too long! Wow, you have grown! You used to be this little thing, and now you are a full grown adult!" She says in awe. _I internally roll my eyes. Really? I am only two years younger than you…._ And there she was again with her backhanded comments. She knew exactly what to say to make something that wasn't a compliment sound like one…

"Good to see you too, Charlotte." I say grinding my teeth together willingly myself not to make a snide comment back to her.

Before I could say anything, because she knows me so well, Alice speaks up. "Well, Char, lets go get your stuff! And we were thinking Pike Place Market for lunch, and then we can do some sight seeing. And maybe even go to some of our old hangout! I am sure you, and Bells would love that since it's been so long since you have been in town!" She says excitedly.

"That sounds great, Al." I say trying to sound enthusiastic.

"How about Eclipse for lunch!" Charlotte suggest.

Alice looks over at me questioningly. Although I knew it would be hard, I couldn't let Charlotte know that I hadn't been back there since I quit the day after Edward and I broke up. I really didn't want to have her questioning me about it, and have to explain what happened. No one but a small group of people knew about us, and I wanted to keep it that way.

"Yeah sure that would be great!" I say trying to sound enthusiastic. Alice looks at me again questioningly. Making sure I was really ok with it. When we all start walking again she pulls me back, and Charlotte, and Jasper walk ahead of us. Charlotte talking Jasper's ear off.

"Are you sure your ok with it, Bells?" She asks me worriedly. "We can go somewhere else. I can make an excuse up for not wanting to go there." She says. I smile, because that was Alice, always looking out for my well being.

"Al, its fine really. Thanks for the concern though." I say wrapping my arm around her shoulder reassuringly.

She looks at me doubtfully, but then lets it go. Knowing I was over talking about Edward. "So your coming to the wine tasting tonight right? I need your help on deciding what wine we should have for the wedding." She says looking up at me hopefully.

"Of course I will Al. You don't even have to ask." I say smiling at her.

She stops me for a second grabbing my arm. I turn around and see her looking at me concerned. "Bells, I know you don't want to talk about him. But I just wanted to say that I know this whole thing is hard on you. Seeing Edward, and having to spend time with him. And I am so sorry I have put you through this. But I really do appreciate you being there for me throughout all of this. I don't think I could do any of this without you." She says looking like she was close to tears.

I wrap my arms around her pulling her into a hug. "Al, you have nothing to apologize for. You didn't know any of this was going to happen. How could you have known? So you have nothing to feel guilty for, honestly. I would have done this for you regardless of whether I knew beforehand that Edward was going to be here." I look at her sympathetically, and she is wiping tears from her eyes.

"Thanks, Bells," she said squeezing my hand. "Anyways, enough about that. How are you and Jake doing? I know the whole, getting a job offer in Seattle thing has kind of had a strain on your relationship. How is he doing with it?" She asks me concerned.

"He seems to be ok with it." I say sighing running my hand through my hair. "But I think I told you, actually I don't remember because of all the tequila," she laughs in response, "but I told you that he agreed to come with me if I moved to Seattle right?"

She looks at me for a second shocked. "Wow, Bells that is amazing!" She says enthusiastically.

"Yeah, it is." I say hesitantly.

She looks at me, hearing the hesitancy in my voice. 'What's wrong, Bells? Do you not want him to move here? Or are you questioning whether you want to move here?" She asks me. And this was why we were best friends. Because she knew exactly what I was feeling. There was only one other person who I felt that way about, and I knew it was impossible for us to ever be friends again…

"A little bit of both." I admit to her. "I just…" I sigh, running my hand through my hair. "I don't know what I want…or what I want to do. There are times when I can see a real future with Jake. The whole getting married, having 2.5 kids, the white picket fence…the perfect life dream. But I am not going to lie. I am still scared to settle down. What if he isn't who I should be with?" I say, obviously still scared to be in a relationship after everything with Edward.

She looks at me for a second, contemplating what I was saying. "It's normal for you to be hesitant to be in a relationship after everything you have been through in the past. But Is there someone else you want to be with, Bella?" She asks me raising her eyebrows at me.

"This isn't about Edward, Alice." I say looking at her sternly. Asking her not to go there now.

She raises her hands up. "Hey, I didn't say anything about, Edward. You went there on your own. Believe me, I don't want you back with him. He treated you like shit, Bella. And you don't deserve that." She says vehemently.

"Thanks, Al. It's just that I feel like I am too young right now to think about marriage. I mean I am only 24. But I do want to move forwards with Jake. I really do. And I want to be with someone that will be committed to me and only me. But I don't think I am ready for that step yet. I know that you knew right away that Jasper was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. So isn't having doubts a bad sign? Or do you think it's about all the bullshit with my family?"

she looks at me for a second, studying me. "It definitely has to be everything with your family. Bells, Jake is a great guy. He treats you well, and he is committed to you, and only you. You deserve someone like that. Someone that is actually willing to have a future with you."

I sigh. "Your right. I do. It's just, when we had the conversation about me moving back to Seattle, at first he was pissed. He thought I was trying to pull away from him again. He thought I didn't want to be with him, and that I wasn't letting him love me." I sigh, running my hands through my hair. "I love him. I really do. But I am scared that if I move too fast that things aren't going to work out with us. And I don't want to lose him. We were friends first. And that is the most important thing to me. I don't want to lose that friendship."

She looks at me sympathetically. "Bell, I wish I could tell you what to do. But this is something you have to figure out on your own. And you need to be honest with him. Tell him everything you told me. Tell him that you don't want to lose him, and that's why you don't want to move too fast."

"He is going to think this is about Edward." I mumble thinking out loud to myself.

"Wait, he knows about Edward?" She asks me shocked.

"No, no of course not. He just knows there was a guy in my past who hurt me. That's why I wanted to only be friends with him when we first started talking. He wanted more but he waited for me. So patiently. And now that we have been together for awhile, he wants to move forward. And I don't blame him for that. I really don't. I just don't know if I am ready."

"All you can do is be honest with him Bells. And if he really is a good guy he will understand that and wait for you."

I sigh. "Your right. Thanks, Al. I miss having my best friend around." I say hugging her.

"I miss you too, Bells. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I do hope you move back here. Things aren't the same without you."

 _ **Later that afternoon, Wine tasting**_

 _ **EPOV**_

"So where is your girlfriend, Edward?" I turn around and see Charlotte walking towards me.

"Hey Charlotte, how are you?" I ask her trying to sound enthusiastic to see her. But I knew that she was only here to start trouble. Because that is what she did. And even though I knew she was coming, if what happened between us in the past got out, I would be in deeper shit then I already was…And worst of all Bella would be hurt. And I had honestly hurt her enough in the past few years to last a lifetime…

"She opted out of coming today so she could spend time with her friends." I say smiling. That was partly true, she was spending time with her friends, but I told her that only the members of the wedding party were coming to the wine tasting. I had realized that if I was ever going to start to make things right with Bella, and be the man she deserves, I was going to have to start by not throwing Kate in her face every two seconds. Even though she still was bringing Jake, and I would have to watch them together all night. And even if it killed me. It was the least I could do. After all the shit I put her through. I had failed her. Time and time again in the past. I played on her insecurities. I realized that now. And I wasn't going to do it anymore.

"Awe that's too bad. I was looking forward to seeing her again." She says, but she sounded anything but sad that Kate wasn't here.

I roll my eyes at her. "Yeah you seem really disappointed." I say, and she smiles at me.

 **Charlotte POV:**

I had wanted Edward since the moment I met him. He was gorgeous, and cocky, and had that knight and shining armor quality about him that made girls swoon. Every girl wanted him, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot. But then a year later Bella started at UDUB. And all of that changed. Suddenly all of his attention was on her.

I knew all about their relationship. After all _they weren't exactly subtle about it. But they didn't know that I did. And I planned to use that to my advantage._ So I waited for my chance. For the inevitable problems brought on by Edward's inability to be in a relationship, to start. That was what happened with every other girl who tried, but failed to be in a relationship with him. Because they didn't know him like I did. And they didn't know how to make him happy like I did.

My plans to interfere didn't have anything to do with not liking Bella, really, but I knew what I wanted. And I was going to do everything in my power to get it. I knew I was better for Edward then she was. I understood him, and how he was. And all Bella did was try to change him. Make him into the person she wanted him to be. So I waited for them to end. Knowing it was inevitable. Knowing that he would get tired of her trying to change him. And I would be waiting for it to happen. But what I didn't expect was how long they would be together. Or how broken he would be after things finally ended between them.

When he ended things with Bella he came to me, drunk. Seeking comfort. After that night we were together for a few months. Hooking up. And I actually thought we might start dating. But then he left again. It was obviously too much too fast for him. And he got scared.

So even though I was happy for my sister, and I was, my reason for being here was to get Edward. And I was going to do everything in my power to do so. I didn't have anything against Bella, even back then I didn't, but I have wanted Edward for a long time. And I was going to do what I had to, to get what I wanted. And I was going to start with her relationship with Jake…

 _Speaking of the devil…._ I smile when I see Jake by himself. Looking at something…or someone. I walk over to him, and see that he is staring at Edward and Bella. I smirk because I realize this was the perfect opportunity to plant seeds of doubt in his mind….

"Hi, I don't think we have met yet. I am Charlotte." I say to him turning towards him, and putting out my hand. He shakes it, and introduces himself back to me. Then he turns back around and continues staring.

"So you are Bella's boyfriend right?" I ask him, hoping to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah, we have been dating for a few years." He says back to me, although his eyes never leave Bella.

"Well, Bella is a very lucky girl." He turns towards me at that last comment, and smiles at me. "I apologize, I wasn't trying to be rude before, how do you know the happy couple?" He asks me.

"I am Charlotte, Alice's sister. I am currently working in California, but I am thinking about moving back. I miss my family, and I want to be able to reconnect with my sister, now that she is getting married."

"That is great, Charlotte. I am really happy for you." He says smiling at me. We both turn back around, and see that Edward and Bella are still in what looks like a heated conversation.

"It's interesting isn't it? How whenever they are thrown to together they always seem to end up alone. Talking." He looks at me for a second, confused.

"That's what Alice told me at least. You must be a really trusting boyfriend."

He looks back over at them. "They are just friends, Charlotte. Jasper is Edward's best friend, and Bella is Alice's. Its only natural that they would all become friends, and hangout together. Anyways, she loves me, and we are getting married soon. So I am not worried." He says confidently. I roll my eyes. _Because honestly? How could he be so naïve about something that was happening right in front of his face?_ I move to stand in front of him, blocking his view.

"Really? You are not worried? Because you seem a little unsure with the way that you are staring at both of them. And are you sure that they are just friends? Because they seem awfully close for two people who claimed to have only met a few weeks ago." He looks at me questioningly. "That is just my opinion. I could be totally wrong. But you should really just find out the truth about what is going on between them. Before you lose her." I could see the wheels turning in his head, and the doubt start to form. So I put my hand on his arm rubbing it lightly, and then I turn and walk away, smiling.

I could have talked to Kate directly. Broken her and Edward up that way. But honestly, I couldn't stand the bitch. And I knew that by planting doubt in Jake's mind, that she would eventually find out the truth too.

Knowing that my job is done, at least for the time being, I go up to the bar to order a glass of wine. And happen to be standing close enough to Edward and Bella that I can hear their conversation.

"Edward, I'm not doing this shit with you here. Not when all of these people are around." She starts to walk away from him, and I think its finally my time to talk to him. But instead he follows her, grabbing her by the arm, and turning her around.

"If now isn't the time, the when will it be? You won't talk to me, even when we are alone. I don't get it. What are you afraid of?" I realize this was my perfect opportunity to interrupt.

"Ahem." They are both staring at each other, but at the sound of my voice, they stiffen, knowing they had been caught. They turn around. Bella clears her throat and mumbles something about finding Alice. Then she walks away leaving me with Edward.

He watches her leave, and I wait for him to turn back and look at me. When he finally does, I look at him knowingly. "So you and Bella still, huh?" I ask him raising my eyebrow.

He clears his throat, and runs his hand through his hair looking uncomfortable. "I don't know what you are talking about."

I roll my eyes at him. "Come on, Edward. It's obvious you still have a thing for her. But you know she is practically engaged right?" I ask him.

He laughs sarcastically. "Yeah, Charlotte, trust me I know. That's not the kind of thing you can easily forget." He said, looking away from me. It was obvious that he thought he still had feelings for her. But I knew he would be happier with me. That I could give him everything he wanted. And that Bella would never be enough for him. And I had every intention of reminding him of it.

"Look, Edward," I say putting my hand on his shoulder, "I am just looking out for you because I don't want to see you get hurt. Bella is moving on. She is getting married to someone else. And it's shitty, the way she is stringing you along like this. She is making you think that you still have a chance with her. But you don't, you realize that right?" I say raising my eyebrow. "She is not going to get back together with you. She isn't going to choose you over Jake. She is happy with him. Haven't you seen the way her face lights up whenever he is around? I have only been back in town for a few hours and even I can see it. I am not trying to hurt you, Edward. Really I'm not. But I think it's time that you move on too. Move on with someone who can make you happier then she ever could." He glares at me for a second. But then a look of resignation passes over his face. And I realize he finally believes what I am saying to him.

"I know that everyone blamed you for what happened back then." I say with a look of sympathy on my face, rubbing his shoulder. "But she is the one who left you, and took some of your best friends with her. She played the victim, when she was to blame for what happened too. It's not all on you, Edward." I say. He then looks at me for a second. A look of realization on his face.

"Wait you knew about me and Bella?" he asks me a look of shock on his face.

"Of course I did." I say rolling my eyes, "You guys weren't actually subtle about it. And Bella went over to Alice's apartment that night crying, and you came to me, messed up, and drunk."

He holds his hand up stopping me from going further. "Yeah I remember what happened that night, Charlotte. You don't have to remind me."

I could admit I was a little hurt at how dismissive he was of what happened that night. After all I knew he had feelings for me. But he was scared. And that was why he left. "Why are you so angry, Edward? We didn't do anything wrong. You and Bella were already broken up. She left you, even after you begged her to stay. You have nothing to feel guilty for."

He looks up at me, a harsh look on his face. "Really I don't have anything to feel guilty for? How can you be so casual about what we did? She was your childhood friend, Charlotte. And you don't do that to your friends. Regardless of whether or not you were friends at the time. And you don't do that to the people you love. Sleep with someone else only hours after you broke up." He runs his hand through his hair. "I did a shitty thing. I am man enough to admit it. I screwed up so many times with her. And I could say it was because I was too young and naïve to know when I had a good thing in my life. And while that is partially true, I know it's not a good enough excuse to justify how I acted with her. So I want to make things right with her. I at least owe her that after everything I put her through. I know that she has moved on, and we will never be together, but I at least owe her that. I owe the friendship that we used to have, that."

Without another word he walks away from me.

 **BPOV, Wine Tasting**

I see Edward walking towards me, and I start to plan my escape. But before I can, I see a tall blonde walk into the room. "Tanya?" I ask looking at her shocked that she was here. When I say her name Edward turns around too. Without thinking about anything else, I walk towards her, past Edward.

"T you're here!" I say wrapping my arms around her in a hug. "Why didn't you call me? I would have picked you up from the airport!"

"I wanted to surprise you!" She lowers her voice to a whisper. "And I know you needed me so I got on the first flight that I could." I see her look behind me and when I turn around I see Edward is behind us. She raises her eyebrow. "Edward." She says coldly.

"Hey, T." I say smiling at her.

There is an awkward uncomfortable silence that surrounds us. None of us really knowing what to say. And knowing there was too much that needed to be said. Before anyone can speak Alice materializes behind us. "Hey Bell I need you for a second would you mind coming with me?"

I turn around, giving her a look of gratitude. "No not at all." I say in relief, obviously wanting to escape the uncomfortable situation.

"Hi Tanya!" She says enthusiastically to her, and then she pulls me away.

They knew each other, sort of, but she didn't really like her because of the way Tanya treated me when we first met. But when she learned that she took care of me when I was getting over Edward, she warmed up to her…

After performing my maid of honor duties, Alice asked me to look for Edward, and Tanya. I searched the entire room, and couldn't find them. So I go outside, onto the patio. I finally spot them behind the wooden fence surrounding the patio, in what looked like a heated conversation. I stay behind the fence peaking around it, hoping to catch their conversation. I knew that Tanya was still pissed at him, and I didn't think this would end well.

"Ok, enough of the pleasantries. What is the deal, Edward?" Tanya asks him coldly.

"What are you talking about, T." He asks her, his voice sounding tired.

"You messing with her head, Edward. It wasn't bad enough that you broke her heart five years ago, and then started dating someone months later. But now you have to play games with her now? When she is finally moving on and happy? What are you doing Edward? You have a girlfriend. And Bella, she is genuinely happy with Jake. So stop messing with her head, Edward. It isn't fair."

He runs his hand through his hair. Frustratingly pacing in front of Tanya. He finally stops after a moment and looks at her. I can see his face from my view, and he looks frustrated. "What the hell? Why do both you and Bella keep saying that I was dating someone new right after her? You know that's not true right? And why are you so concerned? Is this about me and Bella, or the fact that I left, and haven't talked to you in years?" I gasp quietly in shock. Because if that was true, and he really wasn't dating someone else, things would probably be a lot different now.

"This isn't about our friendship Edward. Although I am still pissed about that and how everything went down. This is about you, and Bella. And what do you mean you weren't dating anyone new? I saw you with Kate a month after you broke up with Bella and after everything with Irina. Remember at the bar?" She says raising her eyebrow at him. "When you went to the bathroom I asked her what was going on. And she said you were dating!"

"And why the hell did you not ask me what was going on directly, T? Do you not understand the damage you have done? I know that Bella thinking I had a girlfriend is the reason she left Seattle, and moved to New York. You even said it yourself." He starts pacing agitated. "If she was still in Seattle I could have talked to her. Explained what happened. Got her to understand why I did what I did. But I didn't get the chance. Because she left, and I had no idea where she went. And no one, including you, would tell me. Do you know what that was like for me? To have the person you loved not only leave you, but also disappear? To not be able to talk to her for years. Not knowing whether she is doing ok or if she was happy? I know I deserved it, but it was hell for me, Tanya."

 _He loved me? How could he have loved me? He wasn't capable of being in love. That wasn't who he was. Why couldn't he tell me then? And why the hell did it matter to me so much now?_

She looks at him shocked for a minute. "You loved her?"

He looks back at Tanya almost like he was in pain. "Of course I did, T. I was a wreck after we ended. You knew that."

She looks at him for a second, and sighs. "Look Edward, it doesn't matter anymore whether you loved her because you screwed things up with her big time. But, you are right. I should have asked you about your relationship with Kate. And I probably should have been more concerned about the poor girl you were leading on. But honestly, I don't think it would have mattered to Bella either way if you were dating someone else. You lied to her about Irina, Edward. You were engaged while you were with her. She understood that. And learned to accept it. Even if you had the chance to explain it to her, it wasn't going to change the fact that you were getting married. I don't think that if she was still in Seattle at the time you could have said anything to change her mind. Or said anything to get her to forgive you, and take you back. Because even though you were dating some poor naïve girl, you were still getting married."

She was right, I realized. It wouldn't have changed anything. Because I couldn't be in a relationship knowing there was an expiration date on it. Knowing that we would have to end it once he got married. I meant what I had said. We didn't have a future then. And we still didn't.

"Bella are you out here?" I hear Charlotte ask from behind me. I turn around and she is walking through the patio towards me. Realizing I had been caught, and that Tanya and Edward probably heard me, I tell her I will be there in a second, and walk out onto the sidewalk towards them. "Hey guys, there you are!" I call out to them as I walk towards them. Probably a little to perkily. Trying to play it off like I hadn't been listening the whole time. They are both looking at me, shifting uncomfortably. "Alice, and Jasper told me that they wanted to talk to everyone and asked me to come get you."

"I'm probably not going to stay Bells, I had a long flight and I want to go home and sleep." Tanya says to me. Then she turns around and looks at Edward giving him a look that I didn't see. But when she turns around to look at me she is smiling. "I should probably get going to my hotel. I'll see you tomorrow at the bachelorette party."

"Yeah jet lag can be a bitch," I say laughing. I walk towards her giving her a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow. Then I look at Edward before turning around and heading back inside.

 **A/n: I apologize again for the delays! Next up is the bachelorette party, where more information about the past will be revealed. See you all soon :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/n: I appreciate all of your patience while I work on the story. And I am sorry that the wait between updates is longer than they were in the past, but I promise that I will not abandon this story! Thanks as always for all of the reviews/favorites/follow**

" **I know I can't take one more step towards you. Cause all that is waiting is regret. Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore? You lost the love I loved the most. I learned to live half alive. And now you want me one more time."-Christina Perri "Jar of Hearts**

All I can think about when I walk into the reception hall, looking out over the balcony at the party, is how much I didn't want to be there. There were so many people here that could ruin everything that I had worked so hard to build. Everyone including Kate. And I was starting to think that she knew more about Edward and I then she was letting on. That is the only reason I could think of that would explain why she had been practically throwing her relationship with him in my face every time I turned around. She hadn't been to the last few events that Alice had thrown, (I wondered what that was about?), but she was here tonight. And insisted on riding with the "girls" to the bachelorette party. Telling us that she wanted to get to know everyone. And that she wanted all of us to become friends. Which most of the girls involved, happily agreed to san Alice and I of course. We reluctantly agreed in the end though knowing it would cause more harm then good to exclude her. And would lead to more questions then Alice and I were willing to answer. All of the girls had been excited to hear how Kate had managed to snag the great Edward Cullen, (he was legendary at UDUB after all), and get him to settle down. Why was _Alice friends with these people again?_ That was the only thing going through my mind on our way to the party as they giggled, and laughed together. And Kate insisted, a little too hard, that Edward was such a great of a guy. Throughout the whole ride she went on and on about how she "could not believe that Edward was such a womanizer back then….

"He is just so attentive, and so caring." She gushes to them, "I have never been with someone like that before. And the fact that he was so eager to introduce me to his friends and family so quickly after we got together was such a big deal. It just proved how much he cared about me. And how serious he was about being with me." _How could one girl be so naïve about the guy she was dating? Did she know him at all? Clearly she didn't if she thought he was a loving and attentive boyfriend. Or maybe he really did change for her. Maybe she was exactly what he needed to realize he needed to change._

Not wanting to be around the constant reminder that I had never been good enough for him, I was anxious to put as much distance between me and Kate and he band of follower as possible.

And then there was Charlotte. I knew that her being here couldn't lead to anything good. And that she had to have an agenda. And while I knew exactly what Kate's motives were I still had no idea what Charlotte's motives were. And I think that scared me more. All I knew was that she had talked to Jake yesterday at the wine tasting, and ever since then he has been acting weird around me. Normally, he would be trying to spend as much time with me as possible or he would be talking about getting married every chance he had, _I had no idea what the deal was with every man in my life wanting to talk about their feelings._ But we haven't even talked since yesterday. And I honestly wasn't even sure he would show up today. Or if I even wanted him to show up. I knew shit was probably going to hit the fan soon, and I sure as hell didn't want him to be around when it happened. I planned to confront Charlotte, and demand to know what her deal was, and what she wanted. But it was not the time.

I ended up not really having a choice though, when Charlotte comes up beside me and says happily looking out over the balcony, "Some party huh?" She says enthusiastically. "I just can't believe my baby sister is getting married soon! It's crazy isn't it? You and Alice always were the ones talking about how you didn't want to get married. Wanting to get your business up and running before you even thought about getting married. And now she is getting married, and you are practically engaged. Funny how thing change huh?" She rambles, with what I believe was fake enthusiasm. But her coming over here just proved to me that she was up to something…

"Yeah it is funny." I say sounding disinterested. But she was right. Things definitely have changed. Never would I have thought that at the age of 25 I would be where I was. Practically engaged and watching the guy I could have spent my life with, in the arms of another woman… All her comments did though was remind me of my relationship with Jake. I needed to know what was going on, so I turn around looking at Charlotte. "What did you say to Jake?" I ask her, not being able to hold it in, and continue having a pleasant conversation with her. Pretending I was ok with whatever she said.

'What are you talking about Bells?" She asks me with a look of confusion on her face. But I knew her better than that. Better than to take the confusion on her face seriously. After all she was better at playing games then most people… "What did you say to him? He has been acting weird ever since you talked to him yesterday at the wine tasting." She continues to look confused, and now I was angry.

"Look I don't know what you are doing here, or why you are trying to ruin my relationship with Jake but it needs to stop. These secrets, and lies need to stop."

She had been looking at me innocently, but with my last comment she smirks. "You would know all about secrets, and lies wouldn't you, Bella?

I am stopped short. Not sure how much she knew. "What the hell are you talking about Charlotte?"

She pauses for a second scrutinizing me before she says, "Nothing," she says smirking, "I just know Edward a hell of a lot better than you do. Trust me you would be surprised about what I know. And the things I could tell you about Edward that you still don't know even after you were together for how long? Two years?"

I tried to hide the shock that I felt, finding out that she knew about Edward and I all along. I must have failed though because she smiles at me triumphantly knowing she had something over me. But I quickly schooled my features. Knowing that I couldn't let her know it bothered me. So I scoff at her. Pretending like I didn't care. Didn't care that even after all of this time, I was once again reminded that I didn't really know Edward at all. And I never really did.

"Edward is no longer any of my concern. As you can see he has a girlfriend, which you can tell because she has been hanging all over him the entire time we have been here." I smirk sarcastically. "I don't know what you think you know about me or why ever since I have started at UDUB you have been cold toward me, but I really don't care anymore. Just stay the hell away from my boyfriend." I say and then I walk away from her. I knew she was trying to get in my head, and rattle me. But I wasn't about to let her. No matter how much I wanted to know what she knew about me. Or what she meant about Edward.

I start walking towards the bar, pissed off that I let what she said get to me. _How could she know what happened between Edward, and I? Were we really that obvious? And what does she know about him that I didn't? She was so smug about it, that it had to mean something, or be something big. But why the hell did I care?_

After grabbing my drink, I went outside to the balcony to get fresh air. I am leaning over the railing when I feel that ever present electric current behind me. He presses his body against my back, and I close my eyes, reveling in the sensation. We sit there for a moment, until I realize what we were doing, and I stiffen. "I can't, Edward." I say painfully, closing my eyes

He sighs, and finally speaks, "Bella I still- "

"No", I say turning around and shaking my head. I push him backwards not being able to think when he was that close to me. "You cannot say that to me. Not now. Not after everything." I start to walk past him, not wanting to listen to him.

"Bella I just want to explain to you what happened. The truth. Not the lies my dad told you."

That stops me in my tracks, I turn around and I look up at him in confusion. "Did your dad tell you what he said to me that night?"

He sighs and looks at me pained. "Yes, Bella. He did." He says coming closer to me. "After I finally came home a year ago. I went to talk to him. Because he wanted to make amends. And he told me everything." He starts walking towards me again, reaching out to me. "Bella, you have no idea how sorry I am for what he said. He had no right. He was just upset with me. He didn't want anything to get in the way of his "perfect set up", and he saw you as a threat to that. So he played on your insecurities, and made you think that you weren't good enough for me. And that's the complete opposite of the truth Bella. The truth is that I am not, nor have I ever been good enough for you. And him saying what he did to you…I don't think I will ever fully be able to forgive him for that. Or myself for being the reason you went through that. You didn't deserve it. Not after everything I did. Not after I had taken everything else from you. Bella I am so sorry. Please can about everything talk now?" He asks me desperately. I was silent because I was honestly in shock. And even more shocked that he apologized for his father. Because Edward never apologized to me in the whole time we were together. Whenever I caught him doing something in the past he would always tell me that he didn't owe me anything and we weren't together…So I didn't know what to say. But the truth of the matter was, that it still didn't change anything.

"No, Edward. Are you kidding me with this constant back and forth? Whatever your going to say, isn't going to change anything. Regardless of whether or not it is the truth. And it's not going to make me trust you again. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust you again after everything you did." I say with emotion in my voice. I tried to hold it all in. I really did. But it was impossible. He was the only one who could make me feel this way. But I was so tired of being stuck on this endless seesaw of emotion. This constant back and forth. And I was honestly so ready to get off.

"Bella, please." He says desperately. "I just want to explain to you what happened. I want to be better than I was. Let you in, like I couldn't when we were together. Even if it doesn't change anything. You deserve to know the truth. You deserve to know that Irina- "

"No, don't you dare say her name. Or talk about her in front of me." I say, pissed off. "I don't want to hear it. Because it doesn't matter. And it wont change anything so there is no point in bringing it up. You need to stop. Stop cornering me me all of the time. And stop trying to bring up the past." I say starting to pace and shoving my hand through my hair frustrated. After collecting my thoughts, I turn around and glare at him. "And why does it matter to you so much, whether I know the truth or not? You have a girlfriend. One you are obviously serious enough about to bring around all your friends and family. So, you don't get to say these things to me. You have no right. And it won't change anything. Not now, and not ever. You are obviously happy with her, and you want to be with her. So please, go back to your girlfriend. Go, please." I say wanting this conversation to end because I knew how close to tears I was. And he did not deserve to see me cry.

He looks at me for a second, like he wanted to argue further. But I wasn't going to give him a choice. So I start to walk away. But before I can he calls out to me.

"YOU are scared aren't you? Your scared to talk about what happened. And you are scared to hear what I have to say. Because you know that if you listen you might actually forgive me. That you might actually have a reason to forgive me. And you don't want to forgive me do you? You want to find ways not to trust me. And I get that you have good reason not to after everything that I did to you. But that is why isn't it?" He asks me knowingly.

I sigh, and turn around knowing that unfortunately he was right. I would rather see him as the villain. The guy who hurt me so much when we were together. Because it made everything easier when I did that. It made it possible for me to ignore my feelings, my love, that I would always have for him, when I painted him out to be the villain. I didn't want to have to hurt him. I really didn't. But I was tired of this. All we seemed to be able to do was hurt one another. I needed this to end. And I knew hurting him was the only way to do it. So I finally say, "No, Edward. I am not scared to talk about what happened. _What a great liar I am…_ His face falls and he looks hurt. And for a second I consider telling him the truth, but I knew what I had to do. "Because it doesn't matter. And you don't matter anymore. _Another lie..._ I am getting married. And I am finally happy." I end my rant and turn to walk away, but I had one more question before I could put this to bed. So I turn around again. "But just tell me one thing." He looks at me expectantly. "Did you love her?" He looks at me confused for a second. "Irina, did you love her?"

"No," he says instantly without having to think about it, "there was only one person I loved. But I hurt her worse than I have ever hurt anyone. And I have regretted my decisions every day since." He says meaningfully.

I look at him for a second contemplating what he said. Finally, I settle on saying, "Ok," not knowing if this revelation made any difference. I turn to walk away and when I do I hear the booming voice of the guy who was practically a brother to me…

"Bells!" I hear Emmett yell from clear across the room. I look up and finally see the tall hulking figure of one of my best friends. So, I start running towards him, not caring that there were people watching me. Never had I been so excited to see such a familiar face from my past. I hadn't been angry when Edward mentioned that they were coming because I I didn't want them to come, I was angry because I knew that Edward had to have a motive behind bringing them back.

I had been angry at them back then after everything happened that night though. For lying to me and not telling me about her. But I soon realized that this wasn't their fault. They didn't know that Irina and Edward were getting married. All that they knew was that his parents were trying to get them together, and that he refused. I had learned this later, when Rosalie and I had finally sat down and talked. So I quickly forgave them, knowing the fault would always be entirely on Edward, and I couldn't blame anyone else but me… and him. So when I reach Emmett I excitedly jump into his arms and he swings me around in a circle, "Bella-boo its so good to see you!" He says laughing.

"It's good to see you too Em! I miss you. It's been way too long." He finally sets me down and looks at me sternly. "Yeah and whose fault is that?" He asks me giving me a knowingly look. But with Emmett you couldn't really take anything he said seriously. I roll my eyes. "Well you are the one who ended up moving clear across the country Em." I say in a joking tone. He gives me a look as if he were saying that we would talk about everything later, and then he looks up, and says, "Hey Eddie long tome!" At the mention of his name, and realizing he was behind me, I stiffen noticeably. Rosalie who had been silent the entire exchange raises her eyebrows at me.

But quickly realizing my obvious discomfort she pulls me into a hug and whispers, "Hey Bells." She says rubbing my back sympathetically, almost like she knew exactly how I was feeling at the moment. Which she probably did. After all she was there throughout my entire relationship with Edward. And she was one of the few people who who knew about us. Again that was completely on him. He was the one who kept us a secret. Which I didn't understand why until the night we broke up.

Not wanting to let anyone know that I was not completely fine I pull back and say enthusiastically, "Wow Rosie you look great! I heard you had a baby! Where is the little one?"

'At home with the nanny." She says rolling her eyes. "And you would know that we had a baby if you called us after you left," she said softly, not wanting the boys to hear it.

"Rosalie you know- "

"I know, Bells. I know it was hard for you after you ended things. And that you would need to get away at some point. I get it. I expected it. I had warned you about it." She said giving me a look. I wince at the truth in her words. Because she was right. And she had warned me. Way before we got together, that it would end this way. That I would end up leaving because of him. But I was stubborn. And I thought things could be different. That we would be different. _God how naïve was I?..._

"God damn." Emmett says interrupting my conversation with Rose, and putting his arms around both Edward and I. "God damn. How crazy is it that the four of us are together again in the same room? Who would have thought that would ever happen again? I could barely remember a time when it wasn't the four of us together." He says shaking his head in amazement." I sigh. He is right. Who would have thought that the four of us would ever be in a room together? When I left I thought that was it. That I wouldn't be coming back to Seattle. Clearly, a lot of things change…

"God, we had such great times together, the four of us. Do you remember that time when we snuck into that concert?…" I knew exactly what night he was talking about, and my eyes immediately meet Edwards'. I remembered that night well. Clearly he remembers too, because he is staring back at me with such intensity, and heat that I have to look away for a second. _That was the night that we snuck into one of the storage closets and…_ It had been one of the most erotic nights of my life, and the best sex I had ever had…I am brought out of my thoughts by a smacking noise, and Emmett yelling, "Ouch Rosie!"

I look at Rosalie, and she is looking at Emmett angrily. "Emmett, think!" Is the only response she gives him as she glares at him. I know she was trying to make things less hard on me, but really she just made an uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable. So wanting to escape, I shimmy out of Emmett's embrace.

"'I'm going to get a drink." I say, not meeting anyone's gaze, and not wanting to have to see Edward's face.

"I'll go with you," I hear Rosalie say, as I start to walk away. When she catches up to me she starts talking, "Bells just ignore Emmett. He says things without thinking sometimes." She says rolling her eyes. "But how are you doing with all of this? Are you ok?"

I stop walking, and turn around to look at Rosalie. She is looking at me in concern. And while I appreciated it, I was tired of the sympathetic looks I was getting from everyone. The looks people were giving me because they thought I couldn't handle being in the same room as him. "I'm fine. Really I am. I really wish people would stop asking me that. I have a boyfriend. Who really loves me. And we are going to get married. So yeah I'm fine." I say running my hand through my hair. "It sucks though, because he spends all of his time, trying to corner me, and talk. But- "

"Wait you haven't talked?" She asks me shocked.

I look at her in confusion. _Now suddenly she was pro me and Edward_? "No why?"

"Bella I really think you need to hear him out. He has something to tell you that you really need to know- "

"Seriously? How could you of all people tell me that I need to talk to him? You are the one who disapproved of our relationship the whole time we were together. You're the one who warned me away from him from the moment we met. So why are you telling me this now? Why are you telling me I need to talk to him? What is this big secret that everyone thinks I need to know?"

She gives me a sad look. "Bella he misses you. I can tell. And he still loves you." I look at her for a second shocked. Because he couldn't, could he? I had thought that was what he was trying to say earlier, but I didn't allow myself to believe it. That he could love me. That he was capable of loving another person after everything he did to me. "He didn't tell me that." She says noticing that I was looking at her questioningly. "Because I don't think he can admit it out loud to himself yet. And he is too afraid that you don't feel the same way. But you do, don't you?" She asks me with a knowing look. "You can tell me. It's not like I would go say anything to him."

I sigh. "I think that is what he was trying to tell me when we were talking earlier."

"What?" She says to me shocked.

"We were having a fight right before you guys got here. He was trying to talk to me and explain to me about what happened that night. And I think he was starting to say the words but I wouldn't let him." She gives me a look, and I am quick to defend myself. "Because I knew that I couldn't believe him. How could he love me when he is with someone else? When he is with someone that for the first time he was willing to introduce to his friends and the closest thing he has to a family? He never did that with me the whole time we were together, Rose. No one knew about us except you, Alice, and Emmett. And that's only because you and Emmett caught us. How do you think that made me feel? Knowing that I was his dirty little secret most of time we were together? And now he can easily introduce his new girlfriend to everyone? She certainly was eager to remind me of that on the ride over to the bachelorette party. How he was serious about her because he wanted to introduce her to his friends and family." I sigh, frustrated that he can still get me so worked up. "I know that I can't keep comparing myself to her. But damn why wasn't it me that he could do this with? Why wasn't it me that he could commit to?" I knew I was about to cry. Something I never did, because I didn't like to show weakness.

She looks at me for a second studying me. "Ok, first of all, you can't believe anything that bitch tells you Bella. She is threatened by you. And it is entirely possible that she knows that you guys have a history. The chemistry that you guys have is impossible to deny. I mean it is pretty obvious to anyone with eyes, even after only seeing you guys together for a few minutes." I want to protest but she continues on, ignoring me.

"And Bella, he wasn't ready back then. I am not trying to make excuses for him, and what he did to you, really I am not. But he had the weight of his parent's, and his grandparent's, expectations on his back. Living up to the Cullen name was a huge deal in his family. And his dad, wanted him to marry a high society girl, and for him to take over his business. He wanted Edward to become another him. But Edward… he was still so young and immature. And refused to settle down just because his parents told him he had to. And then he met you, Bella. And whether you want to believe it or not you changed him. You helped him grow up. You helped him become a better man and know the difference between right and wrong. He started to become less selfish. And yes, he made mistakes along the way, but he did love you. And I think that the change you brought out in him led to the decision he made. To marry Irina after everything happened with his mom. Because he thought it was the right thing to do. And he didn't want to be selfish. So he ended up making a choice based on what he thought he had to do. And it was the wrong one, don't get me wrong, but he made that choice. And now I know he is going to regret it for the rest of his life, because he lost you. In ever way possible. As a friend, and as something more. I saw what that did to him. Bella it destroyed him to have to choice between you and her. To have to choose between you and his family. Because, as much as you want to deny it, he loved you, Bella. And I think he always will."

I look at her for a second confused by her cryptic statement about Irina and his mom. _What did his mom have to do with anything?_ "It's not my story to tell, Bella." She says knowing what had me so confused, and that he clearly hadn't told me everything. "It has to come from him. So go talk to him. Because I feel like it will change a lot of things for you."

I was hesitant to believe what she said to me. Would talking to him really change how I feel? And how could he still love me? How could he have ever loved me, after everything that he did to me? And even if what he said changed my mind, he still lied to me. "No Rose. He doesn't love me. And he never did. How could he have loved me and done the things he did even before Irina? It was a game to him. That is all it ever was. And I was stupid to think it was ever anything different. That I was ever any different."

I can tell that she wants to speak on his behalf. That she wants to defend him to me, because they have been friends for such a long time. But I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear all of the things that made him a good guy. I wanted to ignore it because it was too hard to think about. "Look, B. I am not telling you to get back together with him. You have a boyfriend, and you seem happy. And the last thing I want is to ruin that. But don't you think that you owe it to yourself to know the truth? So you can get some closure, and put the whole Edward thing to rest once and for all?" I look at her for a moment, and sigh. Because she was probably right. I needed to know the truth. And I needed to move on. But it needed to be after the wedding.

She continues giving me a look and I know she wasn't done. "Bella you don't give anyone room to make mistakes. And you give up on people and move on so easily." I give her a look like I want to protest. "I know you had every right to end things with Edward after what he did. I get it. But if you continue to give up on everyone who makes mistakes then you will never have anyone left in your life. I get that it has to do with your parents. And feeling like everyone you have grown close to has abandon or hurt you. But please, at least hear him out. And if you still want to be mad at him then fine. I won't interfere anymore, and I will leave you alone. Just promise me you will think about it?" She asks me. Reluctantly, I nod my head. Willing to at least think about it. "That's all I am going to say about the matter I promise. Now I am going to find my husband, but can we catch up later?"

"Yeah of course I'll see you in a little bit." She grabs and squeezes my hand and then turns around in search of Emmett.

I watch her leave and contemplate everything she said. She was right. I did give up on people way too easily. At the first moment that they make a mistake. And I just cut them out of my life, not even allowing them to give me an explanation. I didn't want him to explain though because I knew that if he did, that I would probably forgive him. And I wasn't sure I was ready to do that yet. Because even if I forgave him, I don't know if I could ever forget everything he did. What was it about him that made me want to forgive all of the bad things he did? Maybe it was because I knew that deep down, he really could be a good guy. I needed to let him explain everything. To get it all out there. Because not letting Edward explain, always seemed to have negative consequences for me.

 **Flashback July 5** **th** **2009 Edward's apartment**

 **BPOV**

I woke up in the morning confused and disoriented. Looking around I realized I wasn't in my own room. I sit up, concerned for a second, until the memories of the night before come back to me. And the pain in my head started to throb. "Ugh." I groan laying back down on the bed. I felt stupid. Stupid that I let some gorgeous charming guy worm their way into my life only to turn out to be a complete asshole. _I really was the worst judge of character when it came to guys…. I think to myself._ I knew it was something I probably could have prevented if I had just listened to Edward when he told me that he was a bad guy. That he was genuinely my friend, and looking out for my best interest. But I was stubborn. And I knew I had to figure out these things for myself.

 _Edward…_ I smile to myself when I think about how he took care of me last night. How he was willing to protect me, and take care of me, even though I had said some hurtful things to him a week ago. I fully expected him to slam the door in my face when I showed up on his doorstep last night. But he didn't. He took care of me, and I don't think he would ever know how grateful I was to him for doing that. I don't know what made me want to go to him that night instead of Alice, but I think I knew deep down that he would protect me. _And I wasn't going to lie, I went to his place last night looking for him to do what he did best. Needing that comfort that I knew he would be able to provide for me..._ But he didn't do anything. He refused to take advantage of me. And I think that made me like him even more. I started thinking, yes he had faults. Most of them being that he fucked half the girls in Seattle, but underneath, no matter how much he tried to hide it behind his cocky attitude, he could be a good guy.

I get up and go to the bathroom giving myself a once over before going to see Edward. I could admit I was nervous. After all, this was unfamiliar territory for us, me waking up in his bed. I don't know why I was so nervous. It's not like we actually _slept_ together even though we slept in the same bed. But I didn't know how I was supposed to act around him now. I didn't know if things would be weird between us, or if he would expect me to leave in the morning like all of his one–night stands did. _And that's honestly what I did with every guy I was ever with…_ All I knew was that I couldn't let my feelings for him get in the way. I knew I needed to take a break from guys at least for the time being. That I needed to reevaluate what I wanted in a guy, and the kind of guys I went after, before I tried to get into another disastrous relationship. _And I needed to figure out what exactly this thing with Edward was…._

I leave the bathroom and I walk out into the hallway towards the kitchen when I hear voices whispering. "Emmett he hurt her. Put his hands on her. You have no idea how close I was to leaving the apartment last night, and killing him with my bare hands."

There was silence for a few seconds before Emmett speaks. "You really do like her don't you?" He asks him, almost in shock that he could genuinely like a girl. "I mean I had my suspicions, but the way you took care of her last night, you haven't don't that since- "

"Emmett, we aren't here to discuss whether I like Bella or not." He says in a harsh tone cutting him off. And I couldn't help but feel upset that he did. Who was this other girl he was taking care of...? "We are here to discuss what we are going to do about Riley. I was talking to her last night and she doesn't want to press charges. She just wants to forget it ever happened and move on. And while I can understand that, I am not going to let that asshole go free, and not pay for what he did. I am going to go talk to him and warn him away from her."

"Bullshit. You are going to threaten him, and when he provokes you, which he will, your going to hurt him. You can't lie to me, Edward. I know you too well. So don't feed me that bullshit about just going over there to talk. And I don't want him get away with it either. You aren't the only one who cares about Bella, Edward. Trust me, I want to see him pay as much as you do. She is practically like a sister to me." He says sternly. "All I am saying is that we should go through the proper channels. Not take this into our own hands."

"Even if it's against her wishes? Even if it's the exact opposite of what she wants to do? And what are the police really going to be able to do? Issue a restraining order against him? A restraining order won't stop a guy like Riley from coming after her again."

I hear a pause in the conversation, and look around the wall. I see Emmett sigh, and rubs his eyebrows obviously stressed. "And you think that hurting him is really what she wants either? Edward you are are letting your feelings for her cloud your judgment, and make stupid, and rash decisions- "

"At least it'll stop him from coming after her again. And Emmett that is not what this is about- "

"Yes, it is." He says interrupting him. "As much as you want to deny it, you are in love with her. And I know you have a lot of baggage, and don't want to believe in love. Or that love is actually possible. But it is. You are in love with her. And you are allowing that to cloud your judgment, and to make rash decisions that you will regret later. You don't think I want to go over there and kill him for hurting her? Of course I do. But it's not going to help the situation. So I want you to promise me you wont do anything stupid. Please Edward promise me." He says in a pleading tone. There is more silence and then it is interrupted when I hear the door opening and a familiar voice calling out for Edward… _Tanya…._

"What the hell is she doing here?" I hear Emmett hiss obviously pissed off, and knowing what he was planning.

"She is here to keep Bella company while we- "

'While we what?"

There is a pause before Edward says, "You know what." He says in a tone that I had never heard from Edward before. It was so harsh and cold. I was honestly worried for his safety. And I needed to end this. Prevent him from leaving before he got hurt. He didn't know what Riley was capable of. And he didn't need to go and get himself hurt for me. So I come out of hiding. "Edward can I talk to you, please?" I ask him hoping he would listen. Emmett turns around, and when he notices what I am wearing, he smirks. Then he turns and looks at Edward. I don't see his reaction, but I see Edward shaking his head. _What was that about?..._ I am confused until I look down and notice that I was wearing Edward's button downs, and nothing else. _Shit… this didn't look good…I pull down on the shirt pointlessly, trying to make It look longer than it was…_

"Bella, not now. Emmett and I have business- "

"Please?" I ask interrupting him. I didn't want to hear about the business he was planning. He sighs, and then reluctantly starts walking towards me. I take the lead, guiding him towards the living room. Knowing we had privacy, I turn around crossing my arms. "What the hell are you planning on doing Edward?" I ask him pissed off. "I overheard your conversation with Emmett, and while I appreciate it, I really do, it's not necessary, or worth it. Please just don't." I say to him pleadingly.

He looks at me for a second, an angry look passing over his face. "You don't think your safety is worth it? Bella, he hurt you. And whose to say it won't happen again? A restraining order, or anything the police has to offer, is not going to stop a guy like Riley from coming after you. So please, just put your stubbornness aside for one second, and realize that what I am doing is what is best for you. I know you never have the ability to choose what is right for you. But in this instance, I need you to listen to me. Please, Bella. You came to me for a reason last night. Even if you don't want to admit it to yourself. And I want to make it right for you. So let me. Please, Bella?" he asks me begging me to understand.

I look at him angrily. Wondering how he could possibly ask this of me. "You want me to let you go hurt someone? You don't even know what he is capable of, or what he could do. How do you think I could ever approve of that? Do you not know me at all?"

He sighs, and then rubs his eyes. "Bella, I am not going to argue with you about this. I get that you don't approve. But since when have I ever done something you have approved of?" He asks me with a smirk jokingly. I smile back grudgingly. "And I do know him, Bella. I know what he is capable of. Didn't I tell you that we used to run in the same circle in high school? I am prepared. And I am not going to do anything stupid I promise."

I look at him for a second questioningly. "What is he capable of, Edward?" I ask him, and he looks everywhere but at me. I bend my head trying to get him to make eye contact. "Why won't you tell me anything about your past, or what happened when you were a teenager?"

He sighs again. "Bella, I was a rich kid with parents who were never around. I got into all kinds of trouble." He says evasively running, his hand through his hair. "But it doesn't matter now. It's in the past."

 _God why was it so hard for him to tell me anything…?_ "Edward- "

"No, Bella, I am not going to talk about it. Please just understand that it is not the time." I sigh finally letting it go. "Ok." I say. Now it was my turn to not look at him.

"Are we ok?" he asks me, lifting my chin. I look at him, and smile. Because despite everything else, and as much as we fought, I knew he cared about me. "Yeah we are ok, Edward. Please, just don't do anything stupid. That's all I ask."

"I won't." He says smiling at me. Not fully believing him, but knowing I didn't have a choice I follow him back into the kitchen.

"Hey, Bella are you ok?" Tanya asks me concerned. I look at her for a second confused as to why she was being so nice to me.

"Hey, I'm fine" I say uncomfortably looking down.

Edward stares at me for a second, and then walks towards me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Are you going to be ok staying here with Tanya for awhile?" He whispers. I nod my head and he continues, "Sorry I couldn't invite Alice over but she can't know about this. I know you and Tanya aren't exactly friends," I scoff at that, "but she is the only one who would understand the situation, and why I have to do what I am doing." I look at him questioningly. "Tanya has a story she wants to tell you, that I think will help you understand her better. Just listen to her ok?"

I nod my head in confirmation, and he looks at me. Then he pulls me into him, holding me there for a second before he kisses me on the forehead. Even though this was not the time, I couldn't help but feel butterflies in my stomach, and that ever present electricity, at feeling of his lips on me. All too soon, he lets me go and turns around. I look over at Emmett, and Tanya, and they both have their eyebrows raised and smirks on their faces. _Shit I forgot they were there..._ I roll my eyes at them, not wanting them to know how much it really effected me. Then Edward walks over to Tanya, and whispers something to her. When she nods in confirmation, he then turns to Emmett asking him if he was ready, and Tanya and I watch them both leave.

"So, do you want anything to eat?" She asks me questioningly. I nod my head, and she heads over to the fridge to get out food.

Twenty minutes later we were sitting down at the breakfast table eating. "So when Edward called me this morning he told me what happened. And I instantly told him I would come right over. Because I had a really similar situation to you, expect mine went on for a lot longer." I look over at her, shocked, with how open and blunt she was being. "What you have to understand was that I was young. And a lot like you. I thought that I could do anything, and there would never be consequences. I went out, and I partied, and got into trouble. I thought I was invincible and that nothing could ever hurt me. But I was wrong…

I look at her in shock when she finished her story. I couldn't believe that she went through all of that…

"I won't get into the gory details. But it wasn't until I ended up in the hospital because of him, and met Edward that I had decided it was time for me to get out. Edward saved me. And that's why I am so protective of him, and why I was so mean to you before. I know it's not an excuse. But Edward, is like family to me. And I don't want anyone to hurt him.

 **EPOV Bachelorette party**

I walk down the hall towards the reception area when I am intercepted by Alice. "Edward what the hell do you keep doing to her?" She asks me angrily.

I run my hands through my hair. "I don't know, ok? I'm sorry. She won't listen to me. I am trying to make things right with her but I don't know how to make her listen." I say frustrated.

She looks at me for a second, studying me. "What exactly do you want from her, Edward?"

"I just want to make things right. I don't expect anything in return. I just want to make things right, and to go back to the way things were. Al how do I make things right with her?" I ask her.

"What makes you think that you deserve to make things right with her?" She asks me crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't Al. I made a lot of mistakes with her. I will be the first person to admit that. But she doesn't know the truth about my engagement to Irina. And even though it probably won't change anything or the ways she feels about me, she deserves to know the truth."

Alice looks up at me confused for a second. "What do you mean, the truth about your engagement?"

 **Flashback March 2011**

 **EPOV**

It had been two months since I had been to my parent's house. We argued…again…about my relationship with Irina. My dad told me that he expected me to marry Irina. That if I didn't he would take away my trust fund, and refuse to pay for college. But I refused. My dad thinks I am being pig headed…stubborn. But I knew that if I gave into him now he would be controlling me for the rest of my life. So I yelled at them. Told them I was done letting them control my life, and that they could go to hell. I left, thinking I was never going to come back. But somehow I found myself back at their house again. I wouldn't have come back if my dad hadn't called me in a panic, telling me there was something wrong with mom. So I dropped everything and rushed over to my parent's house. We may have had our differences but I knew my mom loved me. And the truth was that this situation with Irina was probably not even my mom's idea. My dad can be a manipulative son of a bitch, and he more than likely convinced her it was a good idea.

I walk into my parent's house, and am met with silence. "Mom? Dad?" I call out to the seemingly empty house.

"Upstairs, son." I hear my dad call back. I could hear in his voice something was wrong. I jog up the stairs in a hurry and see my mom laying on the bed. I study her for a second. She looks at me, pale, and weak. I notice her hair is a lot thinner then it was when I saw her last.

"Mom? What is going on?" I ask her in confusion. She gestures for me to come over and sit by her. Then she looks over at my dad. "Carlisle, can you give us a second?" She asks him.

"Es I don't want to leave you here- "

"No argument. Please." She asks him pleadingly. He looks a her for a second hesitant to leave her alone. But knowing he wouldn't win, he leaves the room. I watch him leave, and can't help but think this is the most attentive he has been of her in a long time. I look back at my mom and say, "What the hell is going on, mom?" I ask her worriedly.

"Language, Edward." She says hoarsely, and she coughs. "I didn't want to tell you anything until it was serious, and until I absolutely had to. But I was diagnosed with cancer awhile back. And I just found out from my doctor that it has spread."

I look at her confused. "What? No? That's impossible. You never showed signs that you were sick. How could you not have told me, mom?" I ask her hurt that she would keep something like this from me.

She puts her hand on my cheek. "Because I didn't want you to worry until you had to, honey. We thought we had it under control. But it's spread. We are going to try chemo, and everything else but there is a good chance that I am not going to get better."

"How long, mom?" I ask her angrily, knowing where she was going with this.

"Honey- "

"How long? I say again, standing up and pacing, not sure I could take this.

She sighs and looks up at me, upset. "A few months. Maybe a little more."

"No mom, that's impossible. You were fine. How could you be dying?" I ask, looking at her angrily.

"Come here, honey." She says gesturing for me to sit down.

"What? No. I am not going to sit. I am not going to let you tell me that it is ok that your dying. No, I am not going to accept it. There has to be something we can do. Dad is a doctor. Why isn't he doing more." I say pacing back and forth, angry, and willing myself not to cry.

"Edward, your dad did everything he could to help me. There isn't anything else we can do. We are going to continue with treatment but the truth is that it probably isn't going to help."

"There has to be more that we can do- "

"No Edward stop. Sit down for a second, please."

I stare at her for a second. Contemplating arguing further. But she is looking at me pleadingly. So finally, I sigh and sit down by her bed. "Listen to me, Edward." She says grabbing my hand with hers. "I love you. And I only want what is best for you. That is all I have ever wanted. And you are going to need someone to take care of you after I am gone. Someone to love you, and give you everything you need."

"Mom, no please don't talk like that- "

"Listen to me, Edward. I know it's not fair. I know it's not what you want to hear. But I am just looking out for you. Please at least consider marrying Irina. Please, for me. I know I shouldn't be asking this of you. Especially now. Like this. But Irina, she could be exactly what you need. I know you think that we are only asking you to marry her because of your dad's business. And that isn't true. We only want what is best for you honey. And she would be good for you. She would give you everything you need…the support you need after I am gone. She will take care of you, Edward. In a way that no other woman could. So please at least consider it."

I look at her for a second. Wishing at that moment that I would have told her about Bella and I a long time ago. Maybe that could have changed things. Maybe if I had let my mom meet her, and get to know her, she would see that Bella is good for me too. That she was the best thing that had ever happened to me. And that she could take care of me, and support me after everything. But now it was too late.

 _God, Bella..._ Thinking about her brought a smile to my face. I loved her. More than any other girl that I have ever been with. I finally was able to admit that to myself after thinking I didn't need anyone for so long. And now I wasn't sure I would be able to give her up. It would be impossible. I wasn't sure that I was strong enough to give her up. But at the same time, I wanted…needed…to give my mom this. Something to make her happy, and something to look forward to.

"Ok, mom. I'll do it." I say, knowing that this decision was about to change my life forever.

 **End Flashback**

"God, Edward." I hear Alice say. I look at her, and her face is in pain. "I am so sorry." She says rubbing my shoulder.

"I know that it doesn't excuse everything. I still lied to her. And I still didn't tell her I agreed to marry Irina even after battling with it for a long time. And that is on me. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But when your mom asks you to do something when she is dying, you feel like you owe her at least that, you know?" I say to Alice pleading with her to understand why I did what I did. She continues looking at me and not saying anything so I continue.

"So," I say sighing, "How do I make things right with her? With Bella, when she will not even listen to me."

She looks at me for a second contemplating. She sighs. "Look Edward. Even after hearing your story I still don't forgive you for everything. You did a lot of bad things to her, even before the whole Irina mess came out. Even before you were officially together. And I still am not entirely sure you are right for her. So again I ask you exactly what do you want from her? Because if you don't want to be with her, and this is just a game you need to tell me now."

He sighs running his hand through his hair. "This isn't a game." He says sternly. "But I don't know what I want. All I know is that I want to make things right. And at least be friends. If nothing else, I miss our friendship."

She looks at me for a second studying me. "She told me yesterday that she isn't ready to marry Jake." I look up at her shocked. "He asked her to marry him. And while she didn't say no, she didn't say yes either. I thought at first it had to do with the bullshit with her family. And while I am sure that was a factor, I am sure now that it was more about you. Because whether she like to admit it or not, and as much as she wants to deny it, she isn't over you. And she isn't going to answer his question until you answer hers. Even though she may think she doesn't want to hear it, she does. The truth is that she is scared. But she does need to know."

"So you need to figure it out first. Figure out whether it is a game or if you actually want to be with her. If you want to be with her show her that you have changed. That you are different from how you used to be. And you need to start by ending things with Kate. Because having her around isn't doing you any favors. It just proves to her, once again, that you are the same guy you used to be. The guy who has a girlfriend, and is still flirting and messing around with other girls. And it is just another way you are playing on her insecurities. So you need to figure your shit out. And tell her how you feel before its too late. Because Edward it's about to be too late." She pauses for a second, making sure I understood what she was saying. When I nod my head she continues. "You need to make her listen. Don't let her leave, or come up with an excuse to leave. That is the only way." And before I can say anything else she walks away. She was right. I had to make her listen.

I walk back into the reception area, and am intercepted by the pup grabbing my arm to stop me.

"What the hell is going on with you and Bella?" He asks looking at me angrily, his chest heaving up and down. "Look, normally I am not a suspicious guy, but you and Bella spend an awful lot of time together, and you are always fighting. What the fuck is the deal man?" He asks me his fist clenched.

Not appreciating the way, I was being cornered by this asshole I pull my arm out of his grip roughly. "What the fuck. Nothing is going on between us." I say angrily getting ready to fight him if I needed to. I had thought about telling him the truth. Letting everyone know the truth. But that wasn't the way I wanted to win her back. By airing out all of the shit from our past. By telling him that I was the first person she ever loved, and wanted to introduce to her family. Because I knew that I couldn't. There was no way she would ever trust me or want to be with me if I did that to her. If I ended their relationship like that. I needed to prove to her that I was the right guy for her. Not be the winner by default. And right now, gaining back her trust was the most important thing to me. I knew that was the only way she would ever take me back. And I was going to do whatever I could to get her back. So I lied to him. 'Look whatever insecurities you are having about your relationship with Bella is on you. Obviously you guys aren't happy if you are going to freak out because she is talking to another guy. We barely know each other. So back the fuck off man. And go talk to your girlfriend about what's wrong. Because I sure as fuck don't know." I spit out. Honestly disgusted by his behavior. I mean really? What right did he have to go off on me like this?

"Whatever _man_ , just stay the hell away from my girlfriend. Because whatever you are saying to her when you go off and talk is upsetting her. I can see it in her face every time _she_ walks away. You need to take the fucking hint that she doesn't want to talk to you. And I am not stupid. I know you want her. Its obvious to everyone here. But we are getting married soon. Because she loves me. And she is happy. It is clear that she doesn't want to be with you. So back the fuck off and leave her alone. Because I will hurt you if I have to. If you keep hurting her." Then he walks away, and I have to hold myself back from grabbing him, and punching him the face. _That would be a little hard to explain…._

 **Quick Kate POV**

 _I knew it…_ That's all I could think as I listen to Jake threaten Edward. I wanted to go over there, to his defense, but I wanted to know what was going on between them even more. I wasn't stupid. I saw all of their whispered arguments and their secret conversations. But now this was proof of what I knew all along….

 **Edwards POV**

"Edward can I talk to you for a second?" I hear from behind me. I sigh. I was sick of all of these people trying to pull me aside to talk, and yet I can't talk to the one person I really want to. "What?" I say in an irritated voice turning around. "Oh Rose, sorry." I say running my hand through my hair. "It's been a long night." I say smiling at her.

She looks at me for a second scrutinizing me before she says, "Are you ok?" She asks me concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say looking anywhere but at her. When it is silent for a minute, I look back at her. Her eyebrow is raised, and she is giving me her best, "yeah right," look.

"it's just this whole thing is too hard. There is no way this works, the whole relationship thing. I am trying to be better. I am trying to make things right. But I just keep making the same mistakes over an over again. Even when I try not to. Maybe I am just not cut out to be in a serious relationship. Maybe Bella was right." I say frustrated, running my hand through my hair.

She looks at me for a second before responding. "Is it possible that you are really this insecure?" She asks me sympathetically. I don't respond, and instead look away from her.

"Edward," she says trying to catch my eye, "you made a mistake. And you lost the love of your life for it. I get it. I do. But stop making the same mistakes over and over again. You are a good guy deep down. And you deserve to be happy. You have changed. I have seen it. Kate obviously sees something in you, to want to be with you. And while I don't particularly like her, if you really do want to make something work with her than do it. I will support you if that is really what you want. But if it's not then you need to end things with her. Just make a choice. Stop stringing these girls along. Make a decision and then stick with it. Before you lose both of them." She looks at me for a second, and she can obviously still see something because she says, "You don't believe this do you? You don't believe anything I am saying?" She asks me questioningly, raising her eyebrow.

I pause for a second. "I don't know, Rose. I made a lot of stupid mistakes, and now I can't even get Bella to talk to me. Which I get, I really do. But I am trying to make things right with her. And she is making it impossible." _I really didn't know what more I could do to get her to listen…_

Before we can discuss anything further Alice comes up to me.

"Hey Edward, all of the members of the wedding party are getting together to talk about the trip this weekend, so will you come with me for a second?

"Yeah of course." I turn to Rose and tell her I will be back, and then I walk out into the hall. Everyone, including Bella, are in a circle. When she sees me coming, she instantly turns her head to talk to Jasper. _Well I guess she is still pissed at me…_

"So we are leaving this weekend for our trip to Hawaii at 7:30 am. Does everyone have everything they need?" She asks us questioningly. I roll my eyes; _honestly did she think we never took a vacation before?_ But I knew she was always like this. The kind of person to plan everything down to the last detail…After all of the plans were set we started walking back in.

"Bella can I talk to you for a second?" I ask her pleadingly.

"Not here Edward, but soon. We will talk soon." She says, giving me a look, and then walking back into the reception hall. I was left in shock; did she actually agree to finally talk to me? It was about time. And maybe that meant that she was finally able to forgive me for everything. Or at least start to. Happier than I have been in awhile I walk back into the reception hall after her.

 **A/n: They are going to talk soon I promise! A few things just needed to be revealed first :) Thanks everyone for reading.**


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